The Spiritual Way to Stop Losing Your Shit

Life loves to throw curveballs at us—flat tires when you’re already late, friend drama that explodes your group chat, a work crisis that hits your inbox at 4 p.m. on a Friday. But what if every curveball actually contains the seeds of its own solution?

Gabby Bernstein, a spiritual teacher and host of Dear Gabby, believes there’s a way through every obstacle—you just have to know where to look. “There’s a spiritual solution to every issue,” Bernstein explains. “We can always find a way through every block.”

The key isn’t avoiding problems or powering through them with brute force. It’s learning to see challenges differently and trust that sometimes the best action is no action at all.

Shift your perception

When everything goes sideways, most of us default to catastrophic thinking. But Bernstein opens with a mindset hack. “What if we chose to see that obstacle as an opportunity or as a detour in the right direction?” she asks. Instead of spiraling, ask, “What could be going right here?” She even offers a simple prayer for the spiritually curious: “Thank you, Universe, for revealing to me what could be going right here.”

The next time your plans implode, pause and list three positive possibilities that might be hiding in the chaos. Shifting focus—out loud, on paper, or in your Notes app—nudges your brain toward solutions.

Rest is one of the best spiritual solutions

Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is absolutely nothing. “Go eat an ice cream. Just stop the doing,” Bernstein says. If you’re burned out from all the journaling, manifesting, and inner-child work, your soul might just need a break. Sustainable growth and self-improvement includes actual downtime. “Do nothing and let the universe show you what to do,” she adds.

Schedule what Bernstein calls a “spiritual sabbatical” for an hour this week. Phone on airplane mode, cozy clothes, zero agenda, and a seat on the couch. Whether you savor gelato or stare at clouds, let stillness reboot your nervous system.

The choose-again method

When negative thoughts loop like a broken record, Bernstein hands us her signature three-step reset tool:

1. Notice the fear-based thought.
2. Forgive yourself for having it.
3. Choose again by “reach[ing] for the next best feeling thought.”

“You notice the fear-based thought that you’ve been investing in, that negative thought that you have on repeat, and you just witness it. And then you forgive yourself for having the thought,” Bernstein states.

Catch a recurring worry—money, dating, an embarrassing conversation. Whisper, “I forgive this thought,” then pivot to a lighter, more positive thought. Rinse and repeat until it sticks.

Stop blaming and start healing

When someone triggers you—whether it’s your coworker’s humble-bragging or your friend’s passive-aggressive text—your first instinct might be to blame them for ruining your day. Bernstein suggests a different approach. “The world is your classroom, and people are your assignments. Stop blaming everybody else. You have the power to heal yourself. Let everybody else off the hook,” she says.

The next time someone pushes your buttons, treat it like homework. Get curious instead of furious. Ask yourself, “What part of me feels unseen or insecure right now?” Then give that part some compassionate self-talk before you draft another snarky Slack message to your work buddy.

Stop, drop, and meditate

Are you doing everything right but still feel stuck? “Stop, drop, and meditate,” Bernstein advises. She warns that frantic action blocks flow, saying, “All that trying is blocking the allowing.” Instead, she invites us to ask, “Show me what to do,” and wait for inspired next steps.

Set a two-minute timer. Close your eyes, breathe, and silently repeat, “I’m open to guidance.” When the buzzer rings, jot any nudge—text a friend, tweak your résumé, stretch. Follow the first idea that feels light.

Bernstein’s takeaway is seismic but straightforward: Lean on spiritual principles—perspective shifts, rest, forgiveness, curiosity, and stillness—and life’s messes morph into mentors. As she says—and the old adage goes—”The Universe works in mysterious ways.” Trust that mystery, and you’ll find that spiritual solutions were inside you all along.