We Turn to Alcohol for Every Mood—And Carla Bezanson Explains Why We Should Question That

What happens when that go-to glass of wine or post-work cocktail turns into more than just a casual treat? That’s precisely what Carla Bezanson dives into on Don’t Think, tackling the complicated and often messy role alcohol plays in our lives.

Bezanson holds a mirror up to the drinking culture around us. “Nobody wants to say that they have a problem with drinking or that they question their relationship with alcohol,” she says. “Nobody wants to admit that out loud or even to ourselves, really.”

From the “Two-Drink Me” to the infamous “reset theory,” Bezanson shows how alcohol can feel like both a best friend and a toxic partner—fun one minute, destructive the next.

Why we call alcohol a coping mechanism

Like so many others, Bezanson admits that drinking can sometimes feel like the quickest way to quiet an anxious mind. ”Alcohol shuts my brain up, and it shuts it up good,” she says. But she also doesn’t shy away from the aftermath. The relief is fleeting, and the next morning brings ”hangxiety,” a term used to described the heightened anxiety that often follows a night of heavy drinking. It’s basically a crash where the anxiety returns louder and heavier, serving as a stark reminder of the negative impact of alcohol on mental health.

“We do tend to use alcohol as an escape from anxiety and depression in the moment,” Bezanson explains. “Then it completely backfires with the incredibly high price that we pay, which is hangxiety.” It’s a cycle that resonates with anyone who has reached for a drink to take the edge off, only to regret it later.

‘Two-Drink Me’ and the lure of liquid confidence

One of the funniest but most relatable parts of the episode is when Bezanson introduces “Two-Drink Me,” the version of herself that emerges after exactly two drinks. “Two-Drink Me is literally a national treasure,” she jokes. With just the right buzz, she feels more confident, more social, and even likes herself more. “My posture’s better. My anxiety’s gone. I like myself more,” she says.

But the problem comes when “Two-Drink Me” invites her messier counterpart to the party. Sometimes two drinks spiral into 10, leaving her with more than just a headache. “Every now and then, Two-Drink Me is like, hey, you know what would be fun? Let’s turn this two-drink night into a 10-drink night.” It’s a reminder of how easy it can be to lose track of limits, especially when alcohol creates such a stark contrast between anxious reality and temporary relief.

The ‘reset theory’ and why American society celebrates drinking

Bezanson also introduces what she calls her “reset theory.” The idea is that one over-the-top night of drinking can act like a system reboot. “Every now and then, one really drunk night, it can kind of feel like a reset,” she explains. You let go of inhibitions, maybe embarrass yourself, and then wake up thinking, “Time to get my life together.”

Even as she jokes about her ”reset theory,” Bezanson points to a bigger issue—the way alcohol is built into almost every cultural moment. ”I’ve associated drinking with so many different emotions. Celebrating, that’s a drink. Champagne, a wedding, we’re popping bottles,” Bezanson says. ”Going on a first date, oh my gosh, I have to loosen up. Gonna have a couple of drinks. Going to the podcast studio, woo, we’ve got a beer.” This societal pressure to drink in these cultural moments can make it difficult to resist, even when we know it might not be the best choice for our mental health. “Society and culture have normalized this. The whole wine mom culture—’Tough day with the kids? I’m gonna glug half a bottle of wine’—it’s not just normalized. It’s celebrated. It’s cute, and it’s funny,” she adds. This celebration and normalization of alcohol in society can make it harder to question whether alcohol is helping or hurting. 

Balancing enjoyment with awareness

Despite all the ups and downs, Bezanson doesn’t land in a place of absolutes. She’s not advocating for a lifetime of sobriety, nor is she endorsing endless nights out. Instead, she frames it as a search for balance. “I love having a glass of wine. I love having a drink with dinner. Does that make me a bad person? No,” she says. But she also admits that long-term, alcohol doesn’t necessarily make life better. “If it’s balanced, I should be able to enjoy a drink here and there as a treat.”

That balance—finding a way to enjoy alcohol without letting it take over—feels like the heart of her message. As she puts it, “We’re striving here for improvement, not perfection.”

If alcohol is taking more than it’s giving, it’s time to take action. Call the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357) for free, confidential support, available 24/7. 

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