Relationships

Violet Benson Reveals 5 Steps to Make Any Virgo Obsessed with You

August 20, 2025

Virgos, born between August 23 and September 22, are known for their analytical minds, perfectionist streaks, and softer sides that may not be immediately apparent. On Almost Adulting, host Violet Benson breaks down precisely what it takes to get a Virgo hooked, and it’s not for the faint of heart.

Dating a Virgo can feel like trying to gain entry into a very exclusive club. “If you’ve ever tried to win over a Virgo, you know it’s like applying for an elite membership club where you need patience, consistency, and yes, impeccable grammar,” Benson explains.

But the reward is worth it. As Benson explains, “Whether you’re trying to earn their trust, understand their love language, or decode whether it’s constructive feedback means that they adore you or they’re just two seconds of ghosting you,” getting with a Virgo is worth every minute of your time.

So, how do you go from casual connection to complete Virgo obsession? Benson lays out the steps—here’s how to make it happen.

Step 1: Let them be your fixer

Virgos thrive when they feel needed. “If you’re looking to keep him coming back, giving him a project to do or acting like you need him will always get him to be around you or keep coming back for more,” Benson advises.

In other words, give a Virgo something tangible to help with, whether that’s fixing a household issue, problem-solving, or even just offering their opinion. Feeling useful is their love language.

Step 2: Offer genuine compliments

For all their competence, Virgos can be surprisingly insecure and often struggle with internal criticism and self-doubt. “Give him compliments to boost his ego,” Benson recommends. “That will definitely make him be obsessed with you because they can be very insecure.”

Keep it genuine, but don’t be shy about pointing out what you appreciate—whether it’s their reliability, their problem-solving skills, or how effortlessly they make things run smoothly.

Step 3: Keep things organized

Virgos are drawn to order. Messiness, whether in appearance, communication, or daily life, can turn them off fast. “Be clean and organized even if you’re not,” Benson suggests with characteristic humor. “Pretend to be someone else until he has to get to know the real you. And by then you’re already pregnant, so it’s too late.”

The joke lands, but the point is serious: Presenting stability and structure helps a Virgo feel comfortable and grounded.

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Step 4: Engage their mind and show passion

Virgos are ruled by Mercury, which means that Virgos are attracted to intellect and communication in equal measure. “Just show how brilliant and smart you are, and he’ll just be so into you,” Benson says.

It’s not just brains, though. Passion is just as magnetic. “They love a woman that’s passionate about what she does for a living or just passionate about your life, whatever it is,” she notes. Swap “woman” for anyone—what counts is that Virgos want to see you lit up about something that matters to you.

Step 5: Give them space and time

If you’re trying to rush a Virgo, you’re only setting yourself up for disappointment. Benson is clear: “Give him time and space and he’ll figure out when he feels safe that you guys make sense together.”

Emotions, too, need to be paced. As she explains, “Don’t wear your heart on your sleeve in the beginning when dealing with a Virgo guy, because it’s important for you to keep your emotions in check so he feels like you can be part of his routine.”

Again, the key takeaway is universal: Slow and steady wins this race.

So, whether you’re dating a Virgo of any gender, remember the essentials: Let them help, compliment them genuinely, keep it tidy, stimulate their mind, and move at their pace. Do that, and you won’t just have their attention—you’ll have their obsession.