‘RHOP’ Star Ashley Darby Spills on Paying Bloggers, Her 10-Year Grudge, and the Shower Breakdown That Changed Everything

If “Bravo tea” had food groups, Ashley Darby just covered all of them in one sit-down. Rumors, receipts, grudges that age like wine, and the kind of motherhood honesty that makes you pause your scroll.

On Scheananigans, host Scheana Shay and co-host Krystina Arielle bring in the reality TV veteran ahead of the The Real Housewives of Potomac Season 10 reunion kickoff (scheduled to start February 15). Darby’s been on the show since Season 1, and she comes in with the rare combo: totally game for the mess, but also very clear on what it costs.

Below are highlights adapted from the episode.

Ashley Darby Spills ‘RHOP’ Tea on ‘Scheananigans’

When you rewatch early ‘RHOP,’ what’s the most humbling thing you notice about yourself?

“I’ve learned that I’m a bit of a hothead, and I didn’t used to think that. I always thought I was calm, cool, and collected. Like, you know, I thought I was the peacekeeper. Yeah, no.”

Okay—who’s got the bloggers on speed dial (or payroll)?

“Well, we’ve had people actually pay bloggers. We’ve had people who had bloggers on the payroll. There was a rumor that it was Stacy when she first came on, that she was colluding with bloggers. There may have been some proof of that. So I would say Stacy…We actually theorized that Karen for a minute was doing it, and Karen would get so hot. ‘I would never. I would never.’ But the signs were pointing to Karen at some point. You know, she likes to control the narrative.”

Phone-passcode trust is elite. Who actually gets that access?

“Well, obviously Giselle because she’s my friend, but I might also give it to Stacy. Stacy is like she’s capable of doing like a little code switch. Like, she knows when to go at it. She knows what’s off limits. And I like that about her.”

Be honest—was the Mauricio thing real, or just Bravo chaos doing the most?

“I’m not really interested in Mauricio, for the record. I think he’s a handsome man, but he’s never been on my radar. But he has been on Giselle’s radar, and she said it publicly in the past before. So, I mean, I always thought that she was going to carry the bag with that one. Now that they’re both single. We’re both in Aspen. So when she even said to me like, you know, ‘You’re being a hot mess,’ or whatever, I was really surprised because I really thought that she was. But then she told me later that because of some conversation chat with Kyle, she’s being more respectful, yada, yada, yada. But then she goes on the aftershow and says that she wants to go down with him horizontally…

…I actually think it was a little more sensational, you know? And he’s a handsome man, right? Like, he’s one of the most revered handsome husbands. And again, Giselle had said something about him publicly in the past on her podcast, so there had been some rumblings about her liking him. So that’s why I think it became more of a thing. And then me being single and, you know, just became a whole thing.”

So, what’s the real story with Shereese’s son, Jackson?

“Jackson and I did share an intimate moment, and he did initiate it. And part of the reason that I didn’t really think Shereese would mind is because Shereese had said so many times, ‘You should date my son.’ Like, right after I got separated, she was like, ‘Great. Come on. Come be my daughter-in-law.’ And she said it jokingly, and I always took it as a joke. And then that night, you know, I was like, well, Shereese did give her blessing…

…I told her in the moment on the show, and I was expecting her to have a reaction in the moment in the scene. I was prepared for whatever. If she was going to throw water in my face, flip the table, I mean, I was ready. I was prepared for that. But she laughed it off, and it was just a joke to her. And I said everything to her that I’ve said subsequently. I even said, ‘Oh, like, what if something more happened between me and Jackson than a kiss?’ And she laughed. So I just thought that was how she looked at the situation. But then to go and start trashing me and defaming me like, ‘Ma’am, where is this energy coming from when it’s not what you gave me in the moment?’ And to be fair, we also celebrated her birthday maybe like two months after we wrapped. So even if she had time to process it and let it marinate, I would hope that at least by then, if you were still in your feelings, you would have said something to me.”

Are you ready for Karen to come back to the show?

“Amen. Yes. I need Karen on a one-way ticket to Rojas Ozopotomic, please, because there are moments where I’m like, ‘Oh, a little Karenism would be so fun here.’ You know? Like, when we were in Colorado, Karen’s commentary would have been gold. And I do think too that Karen may have been a good usher for Angel because she does have this motherly energy. And unfortunately, Angel did lose her mom a few years ago, so, well, I think like when she was in college maybe. So I think maybe that dynamic could have been helpful to Angel. Like, that missing piece of the puzzle could have been good for her, but it just wasn’t the way it was supposed to be…And I miss sparring with her. Like, you know, there’s just nothing like her little shady reads.”

What actually happened with you and Adriana de Moura from ‘Real Housewives of Miami’ at Bravo Pond?

“We just had this little game that we played, like a shady game of who was the worst dressed on stage. And I didn’t like Adrianna’s dress. She was wearing what looked like aluminum foil. I didn’t like it. Like, it was just giving aluminum foil realness, and I was not here for it. So I said it, and I said it with my chest. She didn’t like that, and she got up, and she spun around and did this whole thing. And my issue with her actually goes back quite a ways because she doesn’t remember this, but I have the memory of an elephant. She made this really shady comment on Twitter when we first debuted ‘Real Housewives of Potomac,’ and she made a comment something like, ‘Oh, you guys took us off the air for this.’ That was essentially what she said. And she, again, doesn’t remember it, but I know what I read. And remember what Maya Angelou said? It’s not what someone says. How it made you feel. I remember what she said and how it made me feel. So I’m carrying that. And now she’s like, ‘I would never say that, but you did.’ And we were so new, and we had just gotten into the platform, and I thought that was just really crass. So I’m carrying the grudge. It’s been 10 years, and I’m still carrying the grudge.”

After ‘Girls Trip,’ who did you have to clear the air with—immediately?

“I think there were a lot of things I had to address because quite a few of my fellow housewives have had strong opinions about me in relation to what’s been said about me and Jackson or whatever. So I needed to address that. And of course, yes, Kyle and I, we had to talk…We started in different parts of the room when we first started filming, and then we just slowly got closer and closer, and then it was like, ‘Hey, let’s get to the bottom of this.’ It was necessary.”

When did postpartum depression stop feeling like ‘a rough week’ and start feeling scary?

“I was taking a shower, and I just got so sad, and I busted out crying. And I was like, ‘I don’t really want to do this anymore.’ And what was really overpowering me was thinking about all the bad things in the world. I just started honing in on it. Like, ‘Oh, there are children who are dying. There are children who are being abused and molested.’ And all of that just flooded me, and I became so overwhelmed that I was like, ‘I don’t want to live.’ And I called my mom, and one thing my mother is good at is she will pull you off of any ledge. And she really reminded me of the good things in my life and just really reinforced the positive things that helped me shift my focus. So I was very thankful. She’s worked with alcohol and drug addicts. So she has a lot of experience with helping people to reshift their focus, and it was very helpful…

…And then I was also isolating a lot, which I know we do after we have our kids. I didn’t want to go outside. I didn’t want guests, no visitors. Like, it was just me and this little baby that I just oof, you know? And it took the show. It took a producer being like, ‘Hey, it’s time to get into production,’ and I was like, ‘I’m going to set this one out.’ And they were like, ‘Why? What are you thinking? What are you saying? Who are you? This is not the person we’ve known for at that point, like four or five seasons.’ And that reminder of who I used to be was what I needed, and it really pulled me out of that funk.”

What do you wish people understood about postpartum and mental health?

“That it doesn’t look the same. It’s not a uniform thing. So you know, my experience and the way that I communicated is not necessarily what everyone else feels, but it doesn’t minimize what they’re going through. And there may be varying degrees of how someone is dealing with postpartum, and you can’t discount them. Everyone needs to feel seen and just like given their space to heal without feeling like they’re doing something wrong or you’re not depressed enough. Like, ‘What?’ You know? It’s so crazy how there’s always like a one-up sort of thing, and it affects a lot of people.”

Do you ever struggle balancing ‘mom Ashley’ and ‘fun, flirty, going out Ashley?’

“Yes, babe. This has become so hard for me within the last couple of years, mainly because my kids are becoming so much more aware. Like, they know I’m on a show. They know I’m on ‘Real Housewives.’ They’ve never seen an episode, but they know I’m on TV, and they know I’m on ‘Real Housewives,’ and they know that people come up to us, and like they know us. So they’re like aware. So when I’m like out doing AshTOP, and I’ve got pasties on my boobs, and I’m like, ‘Oh my gosh. Like, should I pull this back?’ So it’s like a thing that I’m still navigating, and I just got divorced last year officially. So I’m like, ‘I got to figure this out because yes, I’m fine. I’m a party girl and all that, but I’m also a mom.'”

Do you see your past business ventures as chapters of your past or seeds you might revisit?

“Definitely seeds I might revisit. I mean, hospitality is a beast. I know you know. Hospitality is a beast. So it was such a bad experience that I don’t even think I’m healed from that yet. The way it took a toll on my marriage, the way that I had to tell these people who were my employees like, ‘Hey, sorry. I can’t pay you because I have to close the restaurant and I’m taking away your livelihood.’ That was traumatic. That was such a traumatic thing. So it’s one of the reasons why I am not too gung-ho about starting more business, business, businesses because I’m just like, ‘Wow. What if it doesn’t work?’ And then all these people who’ve invested their time and energy, they don’t get what they deserve.”

When you think about what’s next for Ashley Darby, what excites you the most right now?

“The endless possibilities. Like, I feel pregnant with possibility in so many ways, and it’s like the world is my oyster. It’s so beautiful. I have my children’s book that I’m working on. I’m getting into real estate now because I’ve been very curious about that. It’s like all these little things that I’m dipping and dabbling in, and I’m like, ‘Man, I can.’ Like, ‘Why not?’ I’m ready to be so delusional. Like, I’m already very delusional. I want to be even more delusional.”

If you could warn Season 1 Ashley about one thing, what would it be?

“I always say trust the process because, you know, that’s all nice. But I might say I’m trying to think about times I’ve had like a gotcha moment. The biggest gotcha moment I had was when Candace told me that stuff about my ex-partner on camera. That was the biggest gotcha moment that I’ve had in the course of the show. I would tell Ashley, ‘Believe and listen to what is being told to you, and deal with it in the moment, but then go ahead and do your own due diligence.’ Because I would either like not believe anybody and be like, ‘You’re so full of sh*t,’ right? Or I would be believing them with my whole heart and soul. And so either way, you just can’t do either. You got to have a discerning eye, be open, listen, take it into consideration, but then you know, do your own anti-drew stuff too.”

What’s the side of you viewers barely get to see—but matters most to you?

“I would still just be how much I love not just my own children, but other children in the neighborhood. Like, people come to my house to play with my kids, and…I want the next generation to feel so supported and loved, and it means so much to me. It’s a part of my purpose, I think. And obviously, with privacy things, we can’t really show children…So I need to find a way, and I’m working on a way to highlight that and help it benefit other people within the confines that I have.”

Want the full conversation? Catch Ashley Darby on Scheananigans, streaming now wherever you get your podcasts.

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