Ashley Iaconetti Didn’t Think She Fit the Housewives Mold—And That’s Exactly Why She Said Yes

Ashley Iaconetti would like everyone to know she doesn’t actually cry this much in real life. Television, however, is another story. After years of becoming Bachelor Nation’s most emotional contestant, she’s now bringing that same vulnerability to The Real Housewives of Rhode Island—even if she didn’t expect it to happen there, too. 

Catching up with Amanda Hirsch on Not Skinny But Not Fat, Iaconetti opens up about returning to reality TV and how this experience has very little in common with the one that first made her a familiar face.

Below are the highlights from the conversation, adapted from the episode.

Ashley Iaconetti Says ‘Housewives’ Was Not Like ‘The Bachelor’

Did you ever imagine you’d end up as a Real Housewife?

“No, it’s the weirdest thing ever, and every day I pause to be like, ‘OK, so I’m a huge fan of The Bachelor, and I got on The Bachelor, and then I met my husband on The Bachelor, and then my husband is obsessed with Rhode Island and I made the promise that we would move back there. And then we moved to Rhode Island, and then reality TV followed me to Rhode Island, and they wanted me to be a housewife. It’s the weirdest thing ever.”

You promised Jared [Haibon] you’d move to Rhode Island?

“I always said that we would move back to Rhode Island whenever we were like gonna start to have kids, because we didn’t think that LA was the greatest place to do that. And then COVID kind of like made everything so remote that like we didn’t really have to stay in LA for work. So we moved over to Rhode Island, and everything was so great and breezy, and then I got pregnant, actually, like soon after we moved to Rhode Island.”

What’s something people don’t realize about your life after moving to Rhode Island?

“I was so sick during my first pregnancy, and then like I had the baby, and when I was with Dawson…you had like that lonely, isolated mom feeling where you’re like, how am I in a house with something and I’m not alone, but I feel alone. So there was definitely like that chapter. And then things kind of started to roll a little bit more. I got help with a nanny; not only did that help with work, obviously, which is why we got her, but like, honestly, just like community and feeling like I had somebody there to talk to throughout the day.”

How is Audrey’s coffee shop really doing?

“It’s gotten a ton of business, which we’re really, really grateful for. It’s so crazy, but it’s always, it always did well. It’s just honestly…We’ve realized a coffee shop can never be like a gold mine. It’s all about like becoming a Dunkin’ or Starbucks where you franchise out…You live, and you learn.”

Do you still feel emotional filming reality TV?

“I just feel like I’m still crying, and I’m actually gonna try to work on the crying if I’m like on next season… It’s so crazy the way that like I’m actually just crying all the time still. And I tell people I’m not always crying like this in real life. It’s so weird. I can go like a month without crying in real life.”

Why do you think cameras bring that side out of you?

“I think that you just have to be your most vulnerable. It’s heightened situations… Yeah, and like people are watching. It’s just, it is heightened because people are watching you in the moment and then people are watching you on TV and you’re talking about like the most like intimate issues…I’ve only ever thought that I cried that much over love and like romance and like getting the guy and heartbreak. Apparently I just cry all the time on TV.”

How did you actually get cast on ‘The Real Housewives of Rhode Island’?

“I got a message from one of my friends from Bachelor saying that they’re like expanding the Housewives franchises, and like they’re talking to me about my city. They’re like, would you be open to talking to them about Rhode Island? Apparently, like, that’s something they’re thinking about. So I got on the phone with them, and they didn’t necessarily say it was a Housewives show, but it was like an Italian vibe, like, family-oriented thing, and, you know, eventually those conversations led to it being like, it’s gonna be a housewife show, and I was like, what in the world?”

Why did you ultimately say yes to Housewives? 

“It’s pretty simple. I just was like, I can’t have the FOMO.”

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Amanda Hirsch (@notskinnybutnotfat)

What was your first impression of filming Housewives?

“When Jo-Ellen came to Rosie at the picnic, I was like, ‘OK, I’m back on reality TV.’ And then when Alicia came at Rosie, I was like, ‘I’m on Housewives.'”

What’s your take on the Rulla and Jo-Ellen drama?

“I’m supportive of Rulla, whatever she wants to do with her marriage, like she’s got to do whatever is right for her and her family. I think that Jo-Ellen just bothered her by, you know, digging a little bit too much. She did say at the polo match, she was like, ‘If you find something, let me know.’ And then Jo-Ellen went digging, and I think Rulla didn’t appreciate that. So it’s a sticky situation.” 

How would you describe each of your castmates in one word?

Rosie – Fun

Kelsey – Heavy

Liz – Intimidating

Alicia – Hysterical

Jo-Ellen – Friendly

Rulla – Boss B**ch

What has balancing Housewives, work, and motherhood actually been like?

“It’s just been, it’s a lot on my plate, you know, it’s like I have to do work, which, you know…a lot of people say like, wait, what do you mean what work? And I’m like, you don’t know how much time goes into creating content and then and then show shooting the show during that. So it was like a 40-hour job at least with the 20-some hours that we would film a week and trying to find time, you know, then being with your kids and then like somehow trying to make yourself look like a presentable housewife, you know, it’s just a lot of traveling and like your phone is always going off with like a certain logistics.”

To hear the full conversation, listen to Not Skinny But Not Fat wherever you get your podcasts.

• ‘Victorious’ Star Daniella Monet Almost Had a Third Baby Instead of Restarting Her Career
• Ashley Tisdale Thought She Knew Exactly Who She Was—Until Motherhood Happened
• Samara Weaving on New Motherhood, Horror Movies, and the Myth of Having It Together