Aurora Culpo Breaks Down 7 ADHD Truths Every Woman Should Know

Ever feel like your brain is buffering while simultaneously trying to plan a dinner party, write a novel, and remember if you fed the cat? One minute you’re crushing your to-do list at 2 a.m., the next you’re crying because a stranger didn’t wave back. And don’t even start on the dopamine-seeking chaos that leads to alphabetizing your vitamins instead of doing the one thing actually due today.

On Barely Filtered, Aurora Culpo sits down with ADHD expert Shanna Pearson to talk about what’s really going on behind the mental noise. Pearson’s lived it, coached it, and has thoughts on everything from misdiagnosis and meds to why your brain basically needs a hype playlist just to function.

Here are seven truths that might explain a lot.

1. ADHD isn’t something you “catch” in adulthood

If it feels like everyone has ADHD lately, you’re not alone. But as Pearson puts it, “If you think you caught it or got it, you don’t have it.” ADHD isn’t seasonal. It’s not trendy. And it definitely isn’t something you suddenly develop after binge-watching TikToks about symptoms. “ADHD is lifelong—it’s how your brain is wired and you’re born with ADHD,” Pearson says.

The reason it might feel “new” for a lot of women? We’re only just now talking about how it actually shows up in adulthood, especially for people who weren’t diagnosed as kids.

2. Overwhelm is basically the default setting

Having ADHD doesn’t just mean forgetting appointments or starting six tasks at once. It often means you’re walking around in a near-constant state of mental mayhem and no one sees it.

Pearson says it best: “Living in overwhelm is something that is not on the typical ADHD assessment tools…and yet it is the number one thing that all women with ADHD live with.” From indecision spirals to internal drama that no one else even knows is happening, that quiet overwhelm can touch everything—even if you look totally fine on the outside.

3. Rejection sensitivity but make it extreme

This isn’t about being “too sensitive.” Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) is real and for some people, it’s completely paralyzing. “Some of our clients won’t leave the house,” Pearson explains. “It’s not agoraphobia…it’s like they cannot bear the reality of being seen or rejected.”

Sure, everyone gets their feelings hurt sometimes. But with RSD, it’s dialed up way past the norm. We’re talking full shutdown mode at the possibility of rejection. Not drama. Not overreacting. Just a nervous system on overdrive.

4. Choosing positive stimulus is a game-changer

The ADHD brain is always looking for something to lock in on. That’s why you might be obsessed with your dream job—or suddenly deep into hour four of reorganizing your closet by color and vibe. “You hyperfocus on the positive stimulus that’s gonna get you from where you are now to wherever you wanna go,” Pearson says.

The trick? Learn what counts as a “positive stimulus” for you—then use it on purpose. Pick the thing that energizes you and moves the needle forward. 

5. Meds won’t stop you from organizing your cereal first

ADHD medication helps with focus, but it doesn’t come with a to-do list. Stimulants help you focus, says Pearson, but sometimes “they do not help you focus on the right things.” . So while you might feel wildly productive after taking your meds, you may later realize you just spent two hours alphabetizing your spice rack instead of answering one single email from three days ago.

Pearson gets it. “When I was first prescribed, it was way too much,” she says. “I was hyperfocused on everything except for what I needed to be doing.”

That’s why meds are only part of the picture. “Eighty percent of our clients do take meds,” she explains, “but they had to come to coaching to design their life in terms of what they should be focusing on.”

So if you’re staring at your perfectly organized pantry wondering how you still missed that deadline, welcome to the club. Meds might give you gas in the tank, but you still need a map if you want to go anywhere that matters.

6. Accountability buddies are an elite life hack

Saying “I’ll totally do it later” hits different when you know someone’s about to ask for receipts. Pearson says what actually helps ADHD brains is real-time follow-up—like, “Show me what you did. Take a picture, take a video. Show me.” Not in a mean way. In a “your brain needs a deadline” way. “It makes all the difference,” she says. “People are like, ‘Oh crap… I have to actually do this. I can’t just say I did it. I have to really do it.’”

That kind of support—sometimes called body doubling or just having someone keep you accountable—shifts things. It builds structure in a way that actually works for your brain.  “It’s also stimulating,” Pearson adds. Which means it taps into your motivation instead of leaving you stuck on the couch organizing your camera roll for three hours.

7. A specialist can spot what a quiz can’t

Not to hate on social media or self-awareness, but a five-question quiz isn’t enough to figure out your brain. “You have to go to an ADHD specialist,” Pearson says. “Because they’ll look back at your entire life, not just how you feel today because you broke up with your boyfriend or you got let go from a job.”

It’s not just about your bad week. It’s about the patterns. Did you struggle with follow-through as a kid? Were you always impulsive or living in a state of overwhelm?

Pearson explains that a true diagnosis considers all of it. “Symptoms of ADHD include not following through on things and impulsivity,” she says. You can still have anxiety or depression too, she adds, but when ADHD is part of the picture getting the right help starts with someone who knows what to look for—and knows it’s been there all along.

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