The Beauty Industry Can Make You Feel Ugly—Here’s How to Fight Back

The beauty industry has built a billion-dollar empire convincing women that our pores are problems and our wrinkles are crises. From Victorian “vanishing creams” to today’s 24-step routines, the message is the same: “Something is wrong with you—buy this to fix it.”

It’s no wonder so many of us find ourselves scrutinizing our reflections, fixating on flaws we never noticed until marketing told us we should. So, how does this cycle work? How can you break it? And most importantly, how can you reclaim your worth?

Why the beauty industry sells insecurity

You can’t monetize contentment—and the beauty industry knows it. Pretty Basic’s Alisha Marie felt this firsthand when internet trolls zeroed in on a mole she’d had since childhood: “Why do you have to make me feel gross and ugly because of this? That’s so not cool.”

Those barbs didn’t just hurt; they almost pushed her into surgery for the sake of strangers. “I hated that it made me want to get rid of it for other people,” she shared.

Caroline Stanbury, host of Uncut & Uncensored, points out how social expectations ratchet up that pressure: “I think that there is no reason to feel desperate about the way you look today. If you don’t like your nose, fix it.” While she’s pro-choice when it comes to procedures, she’s also clear-eyed about the system that profits when we feel “desperate.”

When self-care turns into self-sabotage

Enhancements can absolutely be empowering—but only when they’re your choice, not a knee-jerk reaction to outside judgment. Stanbury’s husband, Sergio, warns, “It’s very easy to get addicted to it. So what is the limit?” That slippery slope is precisely where the beauty industry wants you.

Stanbury herself values balance: “I have to say, I believe that lines, imperfections, and wrinkles tells a story.” Real faces are living biographies, not defects to erase. Yet without guardrails, endless “corrective” tweaks can leave us chasing a moving target—and emptying our wallets in the process.

The modern face of manipulation

Today’s marketing weaponizes digital filters and FOMO. Stanbury doesn’t mince words: “Do I think that social media also portrays an unrealistic view of things? Of course, it does.” Apps let us sandpaper reality until we forget what it looks like.

Even well-meaning professionals can pile on. Alisha Marie recalls a doctor pushing extra work during a consultation, prompting her rule of thumb: “Never be with doctors who make you feel ugly.” If the expert cashing your check can’t see your existing beauty, find one who can.

5 ways to reclaim your confidence and feel gorgeous

• Interrogate the impulse. Before booking a treatment, ask: Would I still want this if no one else ever knew about it? If the answer is no, press pause.
• Curate your feed. Unfollow accounts that spark comparison spirals. Follow creators who celebrate texture, freckles, scars, and every shade of real skin. As Stanbury reminds us, “Maybe there’s nothing like real human beauty.”
• Choose allies, not critics. Whether it’s a dermatologist, stylist, or influencer, stick with people who uplift you. Marie’s experience proves that supportive pros exist—look for them.
• Set a “more-than-looks” bucket list. Want a confidence boost? Master a deadlift, learn conversational French, or start that side hustle. Achievements that have nothing to do with a mirror build the kind of self-assurance no serum can sell.
• Tell the next generation the truth. Nip the cycle in the bud by speaking honestly with younger sisters, cousins, nieces, and daughters. Share Stanbury’s outlook that beauty can evolve without apology—and that a life well-lived beats a line-free forehead any day.

The beauty industry isn’t going anywhere, but neither is your power to opt out of its worst messages. Keep the quotes above on standby for the days a scroll session makes you doubt yourself. Remember that the very features advertisers call “flaws” are proof you’ve laughed, loved, lived, and—most of all—survived and thrived.