Relationships

Stop Trying to ‘Fix’ the Person You’re Dating—It Won’t Work

February 13, 2026

Valentine’s Day has a way of making everything feel louder. The couples, the flowers, the posts, the pressure. If you’re single, it can feel like you’re behind. And if you’re in something that looks fine but doesn’t feel right, it can feel even heavier. Because deep down, you know the truth—having someone isn’t the same as having the right someone. And forcing it never ends well.

On Over 50 and Flourishing, host Dominique Sachse sits down with her husband Vic Mignogna to talk about all things love and the decisions that shape where we end up. Whether you’re single, settling, healing, or questioning something in your own life, this conversation lands on a few truths that hit hard—and might change how you think about relationships altogether.

Being alone is better than being with the wrong person

A lot of people don’t stay in relationships because they’re happy. They stay because leaving feels scarier than staying. The unknown feels bigger than the discomfort, so they settle into something that’s ok-ish instead of something that’s right.

“The only thing worse than being by yourself is being with the wrong person,” Mignogna says. When you’re tied to the wrong person, there’s no relief. You’re not growing, you’re not bringing your best, and neither are they.

Sachse points out that fear is often what keeps people stuck—fear of starting over, fear there’s nothing better, fear of living out your days solo. And that “comfort” you’re clinging to? It’s actually costing you. “There’s so much compromise,” Sachse adds. “There’s compromise of the soul and spirit in the name of comfort and safe.”

Stop trying to ‘fix’ people

If you’ve ever looked at someone and thought, “They’re great, but if I could just help them change this one thing…”—you’re not alone. But you’re also setting yourself up for heartbreak. “I was always the fixer in the relationships,” Sachse admits. “I would look for ‘Okay that looks good, that looks good, that looks good, and then this other stuff I can fix, I can help him self-actualize, I can help him change that.’”

It’s the classic “potential” trap. You fall for who they could be instead of who they actually are. And then you spend months—or years—waiting for a transformation that never comes. “People don’t change unless somebody really really wants to change their behaviors, their heart, but that’s got to be a hard want,” Sachse says.

Wanting isn’t just saying you want to change. Everyone wants to change at 2 a.m. after an argument. Real change shows up on a random Tuesday, when nobody’s reminding you and it would be easier to fall back into old habits. You can encourage someone, talk things through, and give them every chance in the world, but you can’t grow for them. And when a person is only changing to stop you from leaving, that change usually lasts about as long as their fear does.

“What’s broken in the end is you. You’re broken. Your spirit’s broken. You’re crushed. You’ve compromised. You’ve been taken for granted or taken advantage of or mistreated,” Sachse explains. “And you find yourself in heartbreak because you just don’t feel valued.”

View this post on Instagram
A post shared by Dominique Sachse (@dominiquesachse)

Say yes when you want to say no

Sachse reveals she almost said no to the relationship that became her marriage. Speaking directly to Mignogna, she says, “I almost said no in getting together with you because I was at a hard place in my life with a tremendous amount of loss. I’d been dating somebody and that relationship didn’t end well. My mother had just passed. I was not in a really good frame of mind. And that was the time that you reached out to me and I almost said no.”

Can you imagine? One decision away from missing the love of her life. “There’s so many little steps along the way that had we made a different decision or not done this or not called this or not sent that message, we would be in very different places today,” Mignogna reflects.

Sometimes the good stuff is hiding behind the thing you don’t feel like doing. The party you don’t want to go to. The date you’re tempted to cancel. The text you almost don’t send. “It takes sometimes yeses when you want to say no to be able to receive the blessing,” Sachse says.

This doesn’t mean saying yes to everything or ignoring your gut. But if fear is the only thing stopping you—fear of getting hurt, fear of it not working out, fear of being disappointed again—that might be exactly when you need to push through.

For more insights, tune into Over 50 and Flourishing, streaming now.