Caroline Stanbury Says ‘Having It All’ Is Just Doing Too Much

On a recent episode of Uncut & Uncensored with Caroline Stanbury, The Real Housewives of Dubai star gets candid about why she thinks the idea that women “can have it all” is complete BS. Stanbury, now remarried at 49 to Sergio Carrallo (who’s 19 years younger her junior), is challenging the popular notion that women should be multitasking masters who can juggle everything perfectly.

Her take? If you truly “have it all,” you’re probably doing way too much.  

Multitasking Isn’t a Badge of Honor, According to Caroline Stanbury

Burning out while trying to balance it all 

Stanbury admits she’s fallen into the “pressure cooker” trap herself. Between managing businesses, raising children, and keeping up appearances and expectations, she understands the weight firsthand and can attest that the road to having it all quickly leads to burnout. “Just thinking about all that I do makes me want to take a nap,” she laughs. 

About the expectations placed on women, Stanbury says, “We have been taught to juggle everything and that we can do everything—we have babies, we run the business and the home, we hold it all together, we have sex with our husbands, then, we go home and look beautiful.”

Stanbury says she feels like everyone in her life needs her constantly—her kids, husband, clients, and staff—and believes that many women can relate. “The mental load that women carry every day is heavy,” she says. “It’s about juggling your life, your kids’ lives, your husband’s lives—it’s insane.” 

Multitasking isn’t a badge of honor 

Rather than viewing the ability to juggle multiple responsibilities as a superpower, Stanbury describes multitasking as just glorified chaos. She often wrestles with whether multitasking makes her feel empowered or simply obligated to handle everything at once.

“Sometimes, I think to myself, “If I don’t do things myself, who the f*** is going to do it?’” she says. “Obviously, Sergio is a huge help, and I pity anyone who doesn’t have someone to help them throughout the day.”

For Stanbury, at the root of trying to do it all comes down to the fear of disappointing others. “I don’t want to let anyone down, but doing it all takes a lot out of you,” she says. She believes it’s essential to dismantle what she calls the “superwoman” myth. “We get overloaded with trying to be perfect,” she explains. “Perfect doesn’t exist, and it’s important that women understand that.” 

How women can live life on their terms 

Stanbury’s solution involves two key practices: delegation and saying no. She has live-in staff to help manage her home and acknowledges that effective delegation requires investment. “It’s giving people patience and understanding,” she says. “Everybody has a learning curve, but you have to learn to delegate.”

When it comes to the pressure to be readily available to everyone, Stanbury says boundaries are crucial. “I have to learn better how to say no and how to delegate, and if they f*** up, I’ll just fix it later,” she says.

Read Next

• Caroline Stanbury: What’s the Secret to Age Gap Relationships?
• Caroline Stanbury and Sergio Carrallo Prove that Building a Lasting Romance Starts With Friendship
• Burned Out? It’s Time to Learn How to Slow Down and Rest