Chelsea Handler Is Done Second-Guessing Herself—and It Shows on ‘Not Skinny But Not Fat’

Chelsea Handler doesn’t come on Not Skinny But Not Fat to promote a moment—she uses it to explain how she’s built a life that actually works for her. Fresh off hosting the Critics Choice Awards, Handler talks candidly with host Amanda Hirsch about confidence, aging, ambition, and the decisions that shaped her career long before fame made them look inevitable. 

From why she walked away from Chelsea Lately at its peak to how turning 50 sharpened her instincts instead of dulling them, Handler frames success as something that evolves with self-trust.

Below are the highlights from the episode, adapted from Not Skinny But Not Fat.

How do you mentally prepare to host a massive awards show—and do you get nervous?

“I get excited. Nerves are good. I’m not afraid of nerves. Like I know if you’re nervous, you care. So I want to care, but I’m pretty confident in my capability and my competency. I know I’m not going to go out there and blow it, I’m a comedian. I’ve been doing this for a long time, and I know everyone in the room and I know how to handle that kind of situation…Nerves used to freak me out when I was in my 20s and 30s. But one of the greatest things about getting older and getting more mature is you have so much experience to draw from, so you know what’s going to happen.”

Why do you believe women are better at hosting award shows than men?

“It’s just nicer to have women hosting these types of things. Women are just better at this kind of thing. Like in hosting, in actually being a host and bringing everyone in and together and setting the tone and the vibe, that’s a female thing, you know what I mean? And we’re good at that.”

When a joke doesn’t land live, how do you recover without losing control of the room?

“If something isn’t as big of a landing as you want it to be, you just keep going. [Don’t] freak out. Like that’s very green. That’s something I would do when I was starting out—I would freak out and then rush through the rest of the set. But part of being on stage and commanding an audience is being in control of that situation, and if a joke doesn’t hit as hard as you want, you still stand up tall and carry on.”

Why do you think real movie stars shouldn’t be on social media anymore?

“To be a movie star, you can’t be on social media. I think that’s a part of it where you’re not exposing yourself like personally so much…There’s just no mystique left. Because we know everything that there is to know about everybody, so it’s become kind of ‘ick,’ you know what I mean?”

What finally made you quit ‘Chelsea Lately’—and why was the decision so immediate?

“Yeah, I quit…It was time to move on. I wanted to do something different. I was bored talking about Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears and I just felt sad at a certain point. It wasn’t sad, it was just not challenging to me, and I needed to move on and evolve. There were other things I was interested in. I didn’t want to just be known as this catty person that was making fun of people. I wanted to actually learn some stuff and get into documentaries. There was lots of money thrown around and I was like, I’m not even interested in the money. It’s not about that. I’m done. I want to move on. I don’t have a lot of hard time making decisions. I just know it’s time. It’s time to change the channel.”

What changed for you after burnout, therapy, and stepping back in your 40s?

“That really threw me off my game, the whole election, and then I kind of got really wrapped up in that, and that kind of led into going into therapy, and then I just needed time off. I work too much. I just want to be a person and see what I’m interested in. I didn’t want my whole life to be my whole identity, to be like my professional life. I wanted a life. I bought a house in Canada. I bought a house in Spain. I wanted to learn Spanish. I wanted to just live a life, like be a real person, and that’s what I did. I worked because I have to support my lifestyle, but I didn’t work in the way that I worked in my 20s and 30s. I just took some time to really get to know myself and to figure out what it is I want and what kind of work I’m gonna do that’s gonna make me happy.”

How do you approach jealousy and competition in an industry built on comparison?

“Jealousy is a completely natural emotion to have. Envy is a completely natural emotion to have. It’s really kind of, how do you harness that? You have to admit that you feel that way, that you are feeling envious or you are feeling jealous, and then you have to realize how are you gonna operate with that feeling? It’s totally normal and natural to be envious of people or see people get opportunities in which you wanted them, but I think with age you realize what’s meant for you doesn’t fly by you. You get what you get. All ships rise with the tide. When women succeed, we’re all succeeding, and blowing out someone else’s candle doesn’t make yours brighter. You want everyone’s candles lit. Even if I don’t like someone or I find someone annoying, I remind myself this is somebody who’s trying really hard and wants to succeed, and to be gentle with them and not judge them. It’s totally normal to have jealousy, but don’t act on it.”

To hear Chelsea Handler’s full conversation, listen to Not Skinny But Not Fat wherever you get your podcasts.

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