Caroline Baudino Reveals the Confidence Habits That Are Keeping You Stuck

Confidence doesn’t usually show up overnight—it’s built in small, sometimes uncomfortable moments. Think of it as one of the body’s biggest muscles; it needs to be exercised in order to actually work. 

On Coming in Hot, host Caroline Baudino reveals how long it took her to feel at ease in her own skin, sharing that her most confident vacation yet came after years of doing the mental work. 

If you want to feel different, you have to start by doing things differently. That often means letting go of habits that quietly chip away at your confidence every day, even though they’re hard-wired into our brain—and replacing them with ones that actually support it.

Caroline Baudino Reveals the Confidence Habits That Are Keeping You Stuck

Here’s what she says to stop doing, and exactly how to start shifting the mindset.

Stop obsessing over how your body looks and focus on what it does for you

A lot of confidence issues start with what Baudino calls “selective attention;” aka fixating on one feature you don’t like and letting it take over your entire self-image.

Instead of trying to convince yourself you suddenly love that feature (which can feel unrealistic), she suggests focusing on function over appearance. “Change that from the aesthetic to the functional value,” she advises.

Try this:

• The next time you catch yourself criticizing a body part, pause and name three things it allows you to do (walk, carry groceries, hug someone, travel).
• Build a quick daily habit. Take a few minutes in the morning to mentally thank your body for something specific.
• When negative thoughts pop up, don’t fight them—redirect them. (“I don’t love how this looks” becomes “but I appreciate what it does.”)

Stop acting like everyone is watching you

If you’ve ever felt hyper-aware in a bathing suit, at the gym, or even just walking into a room, you’re not alone. Baudino refers to this as the “spotlight effect,” which is the belief that everyone is focused on your flaws. “No one’s looking, no one cares. Everyone is so focused on their own bullsh*t, nobody’s staring,” Baudino says.

Try this:

• When you feel self-conscious, ask yourself: Would I judge someone else for this? (The answer is almost always no.)
• Do a quick scan of your surroundings—notice how many people are actually paying attention.
• Give yourself a grounding phrase to repeat in the moment, like: “Everyone’s in their own world.”

Stop hiding your body and practice safe exposure

Wearing baggy clothes, avoiding mirrors, standing in “safe” lighting—these habits feel protective, but Baudino says they actually keep you stuck. “They reinforce the idea of that feature as dangerous and shameful,” she says.

But don’t feel like you need to go from 0 to 100 super quick. Think more gradual, exploding yourself little by little until it no longer feels overwhelming. 

Try this:

• Wear one thing you’d normally avoid (like fitted clothes instead of oversized) for a low-pressure outing.
• Spend a few minutes in front of the mirror using neutral language only (no insults, no praise, just observations).
• Pick one “hiding habit” (like constantly adjusting your outfit) and intentionally skip it for a day.

A few small shifts that can make a huge difference

If you want quick, practical ways to start building confidence daily, these are some of Baudino’s go-to habits:

☐ Wake up 15 minutes earlier to get ready; you’re giving yourself time to “put on your armor” for the day

☐ Lay out your outfit the night before so you start the day feeling prepared, not rushed

☐ Do a quick mirror pep talk (“You are strong, you are capable, you can do hard things”)

☐ Wear something that feels like you—whether that’s jewelry, color, or a go-to “power” piece

☐ Try the “too much” challenge: wear an outfit that feels extra just to run an everyday errand

☐ Swap negative thoughts in real time (“I’m too old” becomes “I’m just getting started”)

To hear the full conversation on how to feel your best self, listen to Coming in Hot with Caroline Baudino.

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