Confidence isn’t some magic wand that we wave over our insecurities, suddenly transforming them into self-assurance. Confidence is built. It’s cultivated. And, as Maddie from The Bad Broadcast so hilariously and wisely puts it, it is absolutely a choice.
If you missed the latest episode, don’t worry—Madi Murphy, as always, gave us the pep talk we needed and a healthy dose of reality. Let’s break down her approach to developing genuine confidence that goes beyond surface level advice.
“I don’t like feeling insecure. I don’t like the way that feels. So I choose not to feel that way,” she says. Now, I know what you’re thinking—“Oh, how nice for you, Maddie!” But hear us out.
We often accept insecurity as inevitable—that little voice in our heads telliing us we’re not successful, accomplished, or attractive enough. Instead of telling that voice to shut the hell up, we let it move in rent-free.
Newsflash: Confidence isn’t about being the best, the hottest, the richest, or the most successful. It’s about deciding that where you are, who you are, and what you have is enough. Murphy said it best: “Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt (and The Princess Diaries) were really onto something.
Social media is an incubator for insecurity. Murphy points out that no matter what, “there is always bigger, better, nicer stuff out there than anything you could possibly have.” And if you let yourself get caught in that cycle, you will never feel satisfied.
Her advice? Choose not to play.
Instead of looking at someone else’s success as a reminder of what you don’t have, see it as proof of what’s possible. Use it as inspiration or, better yet, completely ignore it and go touch some grass. It’s up to you.
Raise your hand if you’ve ever left a social event and immediately thought, “Was I weird? Did I say something stupid? Did my joke land? Did I make that person uncomfortable?”
Yeah, we all do it.
But here’s the thing—so does everyone else. As Murphy says, “We are all just 12-year-olds trying to fit in.” The next time you feel yourself spiraling over a social interaction, remind yourself that everyone else is too busy analyzing their own behavior to be thinking about yours. You are not the main character in their insecurity narrative. Sorry!
Murphy’s take on jealousy? It’s a choice. “Jealousy is public enemy number one of inner peace,” she declared. It’s another choice we make—one that saps our energy without providing solutions.
Wanting what someone else has is not going to fix your problems. No amount of designer bags, dream vacations, or Pinterest-perfect homes will ever replace doing the actual work of inner peace.
And if you need a reminder that money doesn’t buy happiness, look no further than the Kardashians. Millions of dollars, endless resources, and guess what? They still have problems. “Khloé Kardashian still had to deal with Tristan Thompson,” Murphy joked.
Now, let’s talk about the real villain: high-waisted swimsuit bottoms.
Murphy went on a whole rant about this, and we are standing behind her 100 percent. Why? Because these things are female body erasure.
The fashion industry has basically said, Women’s tummies? Disgusting. Cover them up immediately. And we just… went with it? Murphy said it best: “Why would we ever be embarrassed about our tummies?” The stretch marks, the loose skin, the softness—it’s all part of the package deal of being a woman. If you want to wear a high-waisted swimsuit, fine. But if you’re wearing it because you think you have to, let us remind you: You do not.
Confidence in your body isn’t about weight loss, or abs, or looking a certain way. Murphy shared that even after losing weight, she still had insecurities. Why? Because confidence is an inside job.
If you want to feel good in your skin, start by doing things that make you feel good. Work out because it makes you feel strong, not because you hate your body. Eat foods that make you feel good, not because you’re punishing yourself. Stop the negative self-talk because whether you realize it or not, you’re always listening to yourself.
Want an instant confidence boost? Cut out people who drain you.
Murphy made this crystal clear: “If you have a group of friends who are constantly in competition, always comparing themselves to you, always making little comments, always putting you down, always being condescending… It is better to hang out alone.”
Confidence is contagious, but so is insecurity. Make sure the people around you are lifting you up, not pulling you down.
Finally, if all else fails? Just pretend you’re confident.
Confidence doesn’t mean you have all the answers. It doesn’t mean you never doubt yourself. It just means you’re willing to act like you’re that girl, even when you don’t feel like it.
As Murphy reminds us, “Feeling confident is an act of rebellion.” So, be a little rebellious. Be the kind of woman who walks into a room like she owns it. Be the kind of woman who wears the bikini without a second thought. Be the kind of woman who knows she’s worthy, no matter what.
Because you already are.
Leave a Reply