7 Ways Your Deceased Loved Ones Are Trying to Contact You, According to a Medium

You feel a sudden random chill when you’re out and about. You find a coin on the sidewalk. A cardinal lands right in front of you at the exact moment you’re thinking of someone you’ve lost. And then comes the thought: Was that them?

According to psychic medium MaryAnn DiMarco, the answer is almost always yes. In this episode of Dear Gabby, she and host Gabrielle Bernstein break down exactly how spirits communicate, and why you need to stop talking yourself out of what you’re already sensing.

Here are some of the ways your loved ones are showing up for you.

1. Physical signs—coins, feathers, and cardinals 

These are the most common entry points, and DiMarco says to stop calling them coincidences. “Your loved ones go hard at showing off,” she says. “They’re really trying to show you that they are around.” When you spot a cardinal or find a random coin, whoever comes to mind first is your answer. That instinct, that immediate flash of a person, that’s the point. Don’t rationalize it away.

2. Scent 

A sudden smell of your grandmother’s perfume or her cooking when nothing in the room explains it isn’t your imagination running wild. DiMarco describes scent as one of the more direct channels spirit uses to get your attention. Bernstein agrees—she says she can still smell her grandmother’s cooking and recognizes it immediately when it comes through. The familiarity is the signal.

3. Songs 

This one you can actively invite. Ask your loved one to bring you a specific song, then pay attention—in the car, in a grocery store, in your own head when you wake up. The request itself opens a channel. DiMarco encourages people to just go for it: “Ask them for songs. Bring me the songs. With your loved ones, just go for it, because you really know them and they know you.”

4. Dream visits

DiMarco calls these one of the clearest and most powerful forms of contact. “There is no mistaking that you are having an actual moment in between realms with your loved one,” she says. Unlike a regular dream, these visits tend to feel unusually vivid and real—you wake up knowing something happened. To invite one, say it out loud before bed: I’m ready to see you. I’m ready to receive you. That intention matters more than you’d think.

5. Tarot or oracle cards 

Bernstein shares her own story here. Days after her grandmother passed, a friend pulled a card from a tarot deck on her behalf. The card showed an elderly woman crossing a bridge, with the caption: “Grandmother ensures safe crossing.” She hadn’t even asked for it, but the timing was undeniable. You can make this more intentional by holding your loved one in mind, asking them to show up, and then pulling a card. Let whatever comes through land without immediately explaining it away.

6. The ‘Meeting Hours in Heaven’ meditation 

This is the hands-on practice DiMarco walks through at the end of the episode, and it’s worth doing slowly. You start by closing your eyes, planting your feet on the ground, palms open and facing up. Then you build the scene deliberately—the color of their eyes, how their hair looked, what they’re wearing, how you knew them when they were at their best. From there, you envision a place that meant something to both of you. Maybe it’s a kitchen table. Maybe it’s a beach. You invite them to sit down, and then you just let the conversation happen. Ask what you need to ask, or don’t say anything at all—sometimes just holding their hand in that space is enough. DiMarco notes this meditation also helps develop your third eye over time, because you’re learning to trust imagery that feels self-generated. That trust is exactly how the channel opens.

7. Automatic writing 

When grief makes it hard to visualize or sit quietly, writing can be a gentler way in. Write your loved one’s name at the top of a page and set a simple intention. DiMarco suggests something like: I am looking to connect with you, and I am ready, with love, from the greatest good and for the highest good of all concerned. Then either write to them freely, or sit and receive—letting words, images, or feelings come through and putting them on the page without stopping to edit or judge. It doesn’t have to be coherent. The act of writing itself starts to tune you to their frequency.

DiMarco acknowledges that grief can make all of this harder. It lowers your energetic frequency, which makes it tougher for spirit to break through—and she says your loved ones actually feel that frustration too, because they’re actively trying to reach you. That’s not a reason to force it. “Honor your grief,” she says. “Don’t let anyone tell you how to grieve.” Walk alongside it rather than trying to outrun it, and the connection will open up on its own.

And if you’ve been waiting for a sign? DiMarco says your loved ones are already going hard to get your attention. You just have to be willing to notice.

To hear the full conversation, listen to Dear Gabby wherever you get your podcasts.

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