Relationships

Still Single This Valentine’s Day? According to ‘What We Said,’ These Dating App Nightmares Might Make You Grateful

January 29, 2026

Valentine’s Day is two weeks away, which means the group chat is split between people posting soft-launch roses, people pretending they “don’t care,” and people reopening Hinge like it personally owes them answers. If you’re single right now, congrats—you’re also statistically safer.

On What We Said, hosts Jaci Smith and Chelsey Curtis are currently deep in their favorite genre: other people’s dating app chaos. In their latest episode, they read listener-submitted horror stories that range from socially inept to genuinely alarming—and somehow, all of them started with a swipe.

Whether you’re actively dating, hate-dating, or just rubbernecking from the sidelines, the takeaway is clear: the red flags aren’t subtle anymore. You just have to listen to them.

Some red flags come with sirens attached

Some behaviors are so unhinged they should disqualify someone from the dating pool entirely. And yet, here we are.

One listener shares a story about a third date that took a dark turn—literally. While sitting in a parking garage with bad cell service, her date casually says, “Yeah, there’s bad service in here, so if I wanted to murder you, this is where I’d do it.” She laughed it off, assuming he was joking. He wasn’t. “That man did not laugh at all,” she writes. “Never saw him again.”

Smith and Curtis are quick to shut that down entirely. Murder jokes aren’t edgy. They’re not flirting. And they’re definitely not something you’re supposed to “be chill” about.

“If you’re a man, you cannot make murder jokes,” Curtis says. “You cannot make kidnapping jokes. You cannot make murder jokes.” Smith cuts in without missing a beat: “It’s actually illegal…And the fact that their brain even goes there is horrifying to me. Why is that a thought?”

Technically speaking, saying something like that isn’t always a crime. But culturally? Socially? Spiritually? Emotionally? It’s a five-alarm red flag. If someone’s brain goes there on a date, your only job is to leave—not debate whether he “meant it.”

The bar is on the floor—and they’re still tripping

If murder jokes are the extreme, the “bare minimum” is the real epidemic.

One listener describes showing up to a guy’s apartment for a second date. He answered the door sweaty from the gym and didn’t shower before giving her a tour. The place smelled “like a sock.” His bed has no comforter—just a throw blanket and a tiny pillow. And when she asked for a glass of water, he revealed he doesn’t own cups.

“Do you want a bowl?” he asked.

“Like a dog?,” she replied.

He then brought her water in a shot glass. A shot glass.

“Men’s apartments should be studied,” Smith jokes. “The way they don’t prioritize the most basic of needs…it doesn’t even click to them that they don’t have a blanket or a pillow. They suffer because they’re that lazy.”

And this isn’t just about interior design. When someone shows up unshowered, unprepared, and unconcerned, it rarely stops at their apartment. It usually shows up everywhere else too—late replies, zero planning, “whatever you want” energy, and emotional availability that tops out at a thumbs-up emoji.

Also, quick reality check: if someone invites you to their apartment early on, that’s already a warning sign. Most dating platforms recommend staying in public for the first few dates. Going back to a stranger’s place—especially one that smells like a sock—is never worth the risk.

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A post shared by Jaci Marie + Chelsey Jade (@whatwesaidpodcast)

Always vet before you commit

Arguably the scariest story of the bunch? A listener who went on “seven or eight” great dates with a guy, had the “making it official” convo, and then posted a photo of them at a basketball game. Shortly after, she got a DM: “Hey girl, I just saw you in a photo with Joe. I’d love if I could call you. Joe is my husband and we’ve been married for 2 years.”

The listener was “gagged.” The wife sent their wedding photo as proof. They ended up talking on the phone for two hours while the wife sobbed, completely blindsided. Turns out “Joe” told his wife “he was taking night classes” on the nights he was actually going on dates. Her takeaway? “Dual authenticate your men before going on several dates with them—I will never be the same.”

When Curtis asks if women really need to deep-dive their matches before getting invested, she answers herself almost immediately. “I feel like you have to—Facebook, Instagram, reverse Google search their picture. You never know what you’re going to find.”

Want the full conversation? Tune into What We Said, streaming now.