Relationships

Sagittarius Men Love the Chase—But Violet Benson Shares How to Make Them Chase You

November 21, 2025

Sagittarius season is here, and the fire is fire-ing. As the sun moves through the zodiac’s wild child, Violet Benson’s bonus Almost Adulting episode basically doubles as your guidebook to the Sag man in your life. She paints him as the ultimate free spirit. Someone who’s adventurous, brutally honest, allergic to clinginess, and always half-packed for his next trip.

In honor of Sagittarius season, here’s your quick checklist of Sag traits straight from the expert—plus Benson’s best tips on how to attract him without losing yourself in the process.

The Sagittarius quick-start guide

Fire-sign assertiveness + a need for total freedom
Passionate, outgoing, witty
Hates clinginess, loves the chase
Attracted to confident, feminine energy
Obsessed with adventure and travel
Brutally honest, zero filter
Positive, independent, goal-driven

What they look for in a partner

Sagittarius men tend to move slowly when it comes to real commitment, which is why Benson says they often have “a lot of casual affairs first rather than serious, long-term committed relationships.” They don’t rush into anything unless the connection feels genuinely worth changing for. But when they meet the right woman, everything shifts. Benson explains that if he finds someone he truly connects with, “he will slowly surrender himself and his old ways,” becoming more romantic, more tender, and more emotionally open than he was with anyone before.

What draws him in is a woman who mirrors his spirit. Someone adventurous, confident, and comfortable in both her femininity and her down-to-earth side. He wants a partner who can “easily morph from a sexy female…to a random tomboy at any moment’s notice,” someone who’s as enthusiastic about a night under the stars as she is about a luxury hotel.

Above all, he’s mainly looking for confidence, positivity, and independence—a best friend who loves her own freedom just as much as he loves his.

How to attract one

Attracting a Sagittarius starts with understanding his relationship to freedom. Benson explains that fire signs “hate overly clinging women,” and a Sag in particular needs to feel like his independence isn’t being threatened. Show him that you have your own life, your own passions, and your own routines that don’t revolve around him.

He’s also drawn to confidence and energy. On first dates especially, Benson says to “look your best,” because physical attraction really does matter in how he initially pursues someone. But looks alone won’t keep him interested. What hooks him long-term is your spirit—being “outgoing,” “adventurous,” and open to sharing the things that make your life feel full.

Benson advises to let him lead emotionally. She warns not to unload everything too soon. He loves a challenge, but not in the form of games. Challenge him by setting boundaries and keeping them, by having a world outside of him, and by showing him what trust and freedom actually look like in practice. Be flirty—“not too flirty”—and don’t rush intimacy. When a Sagittarius is truly interested, he will open up first, and Benson assures that if he does, “he will be obsessed with you.”

Best matches for a Sag, according to Benson

• Gemini
Benson says this is one of Sagittarius’ strongest connections, with a bond that brings out “the best parts of each other.”

• Aquarius
A top match because both signs value friendship first and naturally build emotional intimacy from there. Benson notes they give “priority to the future and hope for a better, stronger connection.”

• Leo
Another fire sign that can match Sagittarius’ energy, optimism, and love for adventure.

• Libra
Balances Sag’s fire with charm, ease, and emotional lightness.

• Sagittarius + Sagittarius
Can work well depending on the rest of the chart—similar energy, similar passion, and a mutual love of freedom.

• Pisces
A match that isn’t supposed to work on paper but often does. Pisces can bring out Sag’s softer, more vulnerable side in a way that lasts.

• Cancer
Violet warns this pairing “doesn’t work” romantically, even though it makes an amazing long-term friendship.

• Scorpio or Capricorn (sibling sign matches)
Can work when the rest of the chart is compatible—especially Venus placements that align.

Want the full breakdown in Benson’s words? You can listen to the entire episode of Almost Adulting for even more Sag-season insights.