Your Spirit Guides Are Calling—And ‘Dear Gabby’ Says It’s Time to Answer

If you’ve ever stared at the ceiling at 2 a.m. wondering what you’re “meant” to be doing with your life, welcome to the club. Between quarter-life crises, job-hopping, and the internet’s obsession with “finding your purpose,” it’s easy to feel like you’re missing some cosmic memo. But what if you’re not lost, just tuned to the wrong frequency?

On Dear Gabby, host Gabby Bernstein breaks down how your spirit guides have been trying to reach you this whole time—and why your purpose has less to do with LinkedIn titles and more to do with what actually feels good. Whether you’re deep in an existential scroll or just craving clarity, this one’s for you.

What if your life purpose has nothing to do with your job?

“Your purpose is not a ‘what.’ It’s not a job. It’s not a role,” Bernstein explains. “Your life’s purpose is actually a feeling. And that feeling is joy.” That one line flips the script on what most of us have been sold: the idea that purpose equals a career ladder. We grow up hearing “find a job you love” or “follow your passion,” as if your purpose is locked inside some perfect bio line. But Bernstein’s reframe says no. “Your career is not your purpose,” she says. “Your purpose is to be the light. Your purpose is to be in the energy of joy.”

It’s a simple truth that clashes hard with modern culture, where we’ve been taught our worth and our work are the same thing—a belief often called workism, the idea that your job should define your identity, your community, and your purpose. But that’s a heavy ask, and it sets most people up for burnout.

The Self-Determination Theory backs this up. It shows that intrinsic motivation—doing things for their own sake, for joy, meaning, and interest—is far more sustainable and linked to well-being than chasing external rewards. In fact, a meta-analysis found that when people are intrinsically motivated, their performance is often better than when they’re just chasing bonuses or approval.

Guided by spirit or just spiraling?

How do you actually know if you’re receiving divine guidance or just anxious and calling it intuition? Because let’s be real, sometimes that voice in your head that says “quit your job and move to Bali” might just be corporate fatigue talking.

“Two voices will emerge,” Bernstein explains. “The voice of your guides, which is always love, always feels high vibe, loving, open-hearted, directed. And then the voice of your ego, which always feels like fear. It feels contracted. It feels controlling.”

In this context, the ego isn’t about vanity. It’s the hyper-protective part of your mind that runs on survival mode. Its job is to keep you safe and in control, but when it’s overactive, it mistakes discomfort for danger. That’s when you start overthinking, future-tripping, or trying to micromanage your entire life.

Here’s the practical test Bernstein recommends: “Put your hand on your heart and your hand on your belly and take a deep breath and ask, ‘Is this thought or idea or choice rooted in love or fear?’” she says. “Your body’s going to give you the answer. Love feels open and peaceful, and fear feels contracted and tight.”

That body awareness piece is huge. Therapists agree that intuition tends to feel calm and certain, while anxiety feels urgent and loud. To tap into this, start by creating your own lists. What does it feel like in your body when you’re operating from fear versus when you’re genuinely inspired? For most people, fear feels like everything’s clenched, shallow breathing, racing thoughts, craving reassurance, or urgency without clarity. Spirit feels like calm knowing, full breaths, inner steadiness, and that grounded “yeah, this makes sense” energy.

The 3 questions that tell you if you’re living your purpose right now

Was I having fun?

Was I inspired?

Was I serving others?

According to Bernstein, that’s the checklist. “Those three questions, if they’re being answered, then you are getting it right. There’s no getting it wrong,” she says.

It sounds simple, but that’s exactly why it works. When life feels overwhelming or directionless, these questions bring things back to basics—joy, creativity, and connection. Instead of over-engineering your path, it’s about noticing what actually energizes you.

Psychologists call this value-based living—focusing on what matters to you moment-to-moment rather than chasing an abstract ideal of success. Studies show that people who align their daily actions with their core values report higher well-being and lower burnout, even when life feels uncertain. It’s a mindset that replaces “finding purpose” with “creating meaning.”

So, if you’re stuck in the spiral of “am I doing enough?”—zoom out. If something sparks joy, fuels your creativity, or helps someone else (even in the smallest way), you’re not off track. You’re already aligned.

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