‘The Skinny Confidential’ Discusses the Fitness Mistakes Women Don’t Notice Until Their 30s—And How to Fix Them

There’s something that happens to fitness when women enter their 30s and 40s. The body still functions—technically—but minor aches begin to speak louder, progress becomes harder to discern, and the workouts that once worked no longer do. On The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast, celebrity personal trainer and elite strength coach Sandy Brockman explains precisely why this happens—and how to correct it.

The way you trained in your 20s may not work now

Brockman, who has trained a diverse range of clients, always begins with a fundamental understanding of how the body moves when no one is paying attention. “I’ll observe people as they enter the gym because I’m intrigued by their gait patterns,” Brockman says, emphasizing that everyday movement reveals more than any fitness test. She looks for alignment, muscle activation, and which muscle groups compensate for others, empowering her clients with a deeper understanding of their bodies.

This is where most women begin without realizing it: already compensating. A significant issue Brockman sees is that most women spend their teens and 20s unknowingly training the front of their bodies to work harder than the back. Between sitting, screen time, stress, and fast-paced workouts, the quads and upper traps become dominant, while the glutes and back muscles go quiet.

By the time someone decides to “get fit” in their 30s, they’re battling against years of muscle memory. “When people come to me in their 30s or 40s, I often have to undo these patterns,” Brockman explains. She warns, “If you’re not moving correctly, an injury is already in the making,” highlighting the importance of being mindful of muscle memory in fitness routines.

The muscles that should be doing the work

When Brockman trains a client, the first step is not weight loss. “The weight loss is a byproduct of getting everything fixed,” she explains. In other words, the scale moves after the patterns do.

She also notes, “Your body will always take the path of least resistance,” which means it tends to reinforce whatever movement pattern feels easiest — even if it’s not efficient or supportive. When the upper traps and quads take over, the body becomes imbalanced. Shoulders rise. Necks tighten. Knees and hips feel strained. Women often misinterpret this as a sign of “aging.” In reality, the wrong muscles have been doing the heavy lifting.

“One of the biggest things I see is overactive upper traps and underdeveloped lower traps,” Brockman says. That means the part of the back that should support posture isn’t getting used, while the muscles intended for occasional support are working overtime.

The same is true with glutes. When glutes aren’t activating, the body redirects effort into the quads. “If you want to grow your glutes, your feet are really connected to your glutes,” Brockman explains, emphasizing the chain reaction from the ground up.

Once those activation patterns reset, the body no longer fights itself. Strength becomes efficient, not forced. She adds, “I can watch someone do a squat, and I can see ten years into their future.”

What your fitness routine should prioritize now

To shift out of compensation and into long-term strength, Brockman recommends a structure she calls her “perfect pie.”

She explains:

• Strength training is the foundation.
• Mobility work maintains alignment and range of motion.
• Endurance keeps the cardiovascular system strong.
• Athletic or playful movement preserves agility and power.

“Everyone should have about 30 minutes of aerobic capacity,” Brockman notes — not marathon training, but the ability to jog a few miles comfortably.

She also reminds women that how they perform exercises matters more than how heavy or fast they are. “If I see a bunch of disjointed movement, then I’ve got to fix that before I get you under a barbell,” she says.

And most importantly, the fundamental transformation is psychological. “You feel like this is about to be the physical journey of weight loss, but it’s about to be a psychological journey,” Brockman tells Lauryn. She explains that the journey will involve changing your mindset about fitness, learning to listen to your body, and understanding that progress is not always linear. The identity shift is as fundamental as the strength shift.

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