The Reality of Friendship Breakups in Your 20s, According to ‘Gals On The Go’

There’s a specific kind of ache that comes with realizing the friend you assumed would be standing next to you at your wedding is now someone you haven’t texted in months. Maybe you drifted. Maybe there was a blowup. Maybe you still can’t pinpoint exactly what happened—you just know it did. And now you’re left wondering if something’s wrong with you, or if this is just…what your 20s are supposed to feel like.

On Gals on the Go, hosts Brooke Miccio and Danielle Carolan open up the Hotline Gals voicemails and dive into listener questions about friendship breakups and the uncomfortable reality that some people aren’t meant to stay in your life forever. What emerges is something useful: why these shifts happen, why they hurt so much, and how to move forward without blaming yourself.

When one boundary ends everything

One listener shares a situation that’s equal parts wild and heartbreaking: her best friend planned a co-ed bachelor-bachelorette weekend at a house in the middle of nowhere. She had a boyfriend, didn’t know most of the guys attending, and the idea of spending multiple days under one roof with strangers felt off…so she asked if she could bring her partner.

The answer was no. Which, fine. But then—plot twist—her wedding invite was revoked. RSVP dead. Bridesmaid dreams canceled. Miccio validates the listener’s instinct immediately. Feeling uncomfy in that situation is completely fair, she explains, and asking to bring your S.O. when it’s a co-ed event isn’t unreasonable.

Carolan agrees—and adds an important layer of realism. It is okay for the bride to say no. She gets to decide who’s invited, who stays where, and what the weekend looks like. That part, on its own, isn’t the issue.

Where both hosts stop nodding and start side-eyeing is what comes next.

Because there’s a big difference between holding a boundary and going scorched earth. As Miccio points out, the problem isn’t the “no,” but the fact that the listener was completely axed afterward. That’s the moment the situation shifts from awkward to unhinged.

Carolan makes it crystal clear: the listener shouldn’t feel even a little bit bad for asking. Speaking up didn’t cross a line. The response did. And losing an entire friendship—and a wedding invite—over one calm, reasonable boundary? In her words, that part is “actually crazy.”

The bridesmaid you thought you’d have

“There are people…that were in my life that I thought they’d be a bridesmaid and they are not, and it’s crazy, but I’m okay,” Carolan says. “We still have so much love for each other, but it is crazy. And I thought it’d be the end of the world and it’s totally not.”

That sentiment hits because so many people are bracing for devastation that never really arrives. You spend years assuming certain friendships are permanent, like they’re baked into your future whether you try or not. Then one day you realize the closeness shifted, the dynamic changed, and somehow…you’re still standing. A little sad, sure. But fine.

“There are a lot of friendship shifts in your 20s,” Miccio points out. “Things definitely get shook up.” She’s right. Jobs change. People move. People get partners. Schedules stop lining up. The friendships that once ran on constant access now require effort and planning, and not all of them make that transition. And that’s okay. Some ride-or-dies are forever. Some are just forever for a season.

How to move forward

Another listener calls in with a different kind of fallout. She has just gone through a friendship breakup, feels like she is finally turning a corner, and still finds it hard to trust people again. 

Anyone who has lost a bestie knows that feeling. You are technically fine. You are functioning. But something in your brain hesitates every time you think about letting someone new in.

Miccio hears that hesitation and doesn’t see someone who’s bad at friendships. She sees someone who went through one painful situation and is scared it might happen again. To her, this doesn’t sound like a personality flaw or a recurring issue. It sounds like a glitch in the timeline. “That shows me that this was a blip on the screen situation,” she says.

That framing matters, because after a friendship breakup, it’s so easy to turn the whole thing inward. You start replaying conversations, overanalyzing tone, wondering if you’re too much, not enough, or secretly hard to love. But one friendship ending doesn’t suddenly become a character assessment. It means one dynamic didn’t work, not that you’re incapable of closeness.

Carolan brings the focus back to something way more grounding. Instead of forcing yourself to trust new people right away, she suggests starting closer to home. “The first thing that comes to my mind is kind of thinking about the people that are in your life right now and what friendships you want to foster more,” she says. “Just try and foster those, and just kind of lean into new friendships more—or think about who’s in your life that you want to spend more time with.”

And honestly, doing that doesn’t look deep or noble or healed. It looks like gravitating toward the friend you can sit on the couch with and say nothing. It looks like texting the person who doesn’t make you wonder how long it’ll take them to reply. It looks like realizing you don’t actually need new best friends right now, you just need a few people who feel normal and steady and not emotionally confusing. 

After a friendship breakup, it’s okay if your trust comes back slowly and unevenly. You don’t have to rush vulnerability or prove you’re “over it.” Most of the time, trust sneaks back in when you’re not forcing it, just spending time with people who don’t make everything feel like a test.

For more insights, tune into Gals on the Go, available wherever you stream your podcasts.

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