‘Good Enough’ Makes the Case for Ditching ‘Gentle’ vs. ‘Strict’ Parenting Labels

Parenting seems to come with a script these days. But on the first-ever episode of Good Enough with Natasha Leggero and Sabrina Jalees, guest Chelsea Peretti reminds listeners that it doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing when raising our little ones. There’s space between the free-range, figure-it-out upbringing many Gen X parents experienced and the ultra-curated, emotionally optimized approach dominating Instagram today. That space is often where the most grounded, sustainable parenting actually happens.

Why the middle ground matters

Peretti isn’t interested in declaring one parenting style morally superior over another—to her, there’s no need to choose between gentle and strict parenting. Instead, she points out how strange it is that modern parents are pressured to choose a style at all. “It’s just strange to have to choose your parenting identity,” she says. The idea that moms need to align themselves with a fixed methodology—gentle parenting, attachment parenting, no-screen parenting—can feel more like branding than nurturing.

Peretti notes that the rise of online parenting advice has created a kind of performance culture around parenting. And often, the advice is rigid to the point of being unrealistic. “Some of those parenting accounts expect parents to be saints and take it on the chin at all times,” she says. But parents are human, too—and sometimes tired, grieving, overstimulated, or simply done for the day. The pressure to remain calm and perfectly regulated all the time is unsustainable.

Modeling real emotion doesn’t mean losing control

Peretti questions whether constantly swallowing our emotions actually harms kids more than it helps. “How about I model big feelings for them?” she says. “How about I model that it’s okay to have big feelings by having my own big feelings sometimes?”

This reframes emotional expression from something parents should hide into something that can be taught with intention. She’s not advocating yelling or chaos. She’s simply acknowledging that kids benefit from seeing what it looks like to move through frustration and recover, not just pretend it isn’t there.

Peretti also highlights how choosing friends with similar values can be a quiet form of sanity preservation. “I don’t like doing playdates with people where their parenting doesn’t align,” she explains. Not because she judges them—but because, “you get the secondhand smoke of their parenting.” Anyone who has watched their kid come home with a new backtalk phrase or a sudden interest in dying the cat’s fur purple has felt this deeply.

Where tech and modern life complicate everything

Like most parents today, the hosts acknowledge that screen time makes everything harder. Jalees jokes about needing someone to tell her to get off her device, not just her child. And Peretti notes that it’s challenging to set limits for kids when adults are struggling as well.

It’s another reminder that parenting happens in real time, with imperfect inputs—not in a vacuum.

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