Relationships

6 Things Amanda Kloots Learned When She Stopped Fighting Grief

August 10, 2026

Grief Lessons from Amanda Kloots — Image: Matt Baron/BEI

After her husband, Nick Cordero, died at 41 following a 95-day battle with COVID, Amanda Kloots wanted grief out of her life. “I hated it. I pushed it away. I wanted to heal from it. I wanted it to leave my life,” she shares in the premiere of Good Grief. But grief, as it turns out, did not take the hint.

Kloots eventually stopped fighting its presence. “And that’s when I started to accept grief as my roommate that isn’t going anywhere,” she says. Over time, that unwanted roommate became someone she could learn from—and even love.

Of course, that hasn’t erased the tears, anger, jealousy, or longing. Kloots still experiences all of it. She has simply made room for joy, movement, love, laughter, and hope alongside the pain. Her six years with grief have taught her that losing someone does not end the relationship. Sometimes, it creates a new one.

Grief Lessons from Amanda Kloots

#1. Love doesn’t need to end

When Nick died, Kloots believed their relationship had ended with him. “I really thought he’s gone. And I am now alone,” she says. Six years later, she sees their connection very differently. “I feel like I have a more beautiful, loving relationship with Nick now spiritually than I did when he was here on earth physically,” she explains. Kloots talks to him, asks for his support, and reaches out her hand when she feels his presence beside her in the car. She found other ways to keep loving him.

A therapist helped Kloots recognize the strength in that relationship. She had confessed how painful it felt to walk into her son Elvis’s school alone while surrounded by couples and families. Her therapist encouraged her to view Nick’s presence as her superpower—and imagine putting on a cape before walking inside. “He’s always on my side. He’s always got my back,” Kloots says. The loss is still real, but so is the love she continues to feel.

#2. Choose joy instead of betrayal

Grief gave Kloots plenty of reasons to feel betrayed. “This isn’t fair. Why did this happen to me? Our relationship was perfect. Now I’m all alone,” she says, describing the thoughts that can consume someone after losing a spouse. So Kloots began challenging herself to notice what she could still experience.

Choosing joy does not erase the unfairness of Nick’s death or make the grief disappear—it just allows happiness to exist beside it. Kloots can miss her husband and still appreciate the sunshine. She can mourn the life they lost and find happiness in the one she is building with their son, Elvis. “Joy can live there too, and if you allow yourself to live, you can find the joy and not the betrayal,” she says. “And I’d rather live in joy than betrayal. That’s just me. Hopefully that’s you too.”

#3. Grief teaches you grace, peace, and patience

Grief has made Kloots more forgiving of the people around her—and of herself. “People do not know what to say. How could they, right? They don’t know what it’s like, and we all handle grief very, very differently,” she says. Her response is simple: “Allow grace, OK? Allow people grace. Allow yourself grace.”

That grace applies to the friend who accidentally hurts your feelings, the family member behaving differently, and the grieving person who cannot quite figure out what they need. Kloots understands the confusion firsthand. “No one knows how to deal with death. I’m six years out. Sometimes I still don’t know how to deal with death,” she says.

“In finding that grace, you’re gonna find peace,” Kloots goes on to explain, adding that peace is “not a passive word. It’s actually a word full of power.”

Patience follows. After 19 years in New York, patience was hardly Kloots’ specialty. Losing Nick and raising Elvis as a single mother forced her to slow down and surrender. “I would have never thought that grief would have taught me grace, peace, and patience, but it did,” she says.

#4. Ask for signs

Asking for signs did not come naturally to Kloots. She grew up attending a Lutheran church and still considers faith an important part of her life. After Nick died, she worried that looking for another way to communicate with him would conflict with her religious beliefs.

Two weeks after his death, Kloots picked up Signs by Laura Lynne Jackson—and hid on her parents’ porch to read it alone. “I thought, ‘I can’t ask for signs; that goes against my religion,’” she says. But grief left her desperate for connection, and one piece of advice stayed with her: “So just ask for signs.”

She decided to try it. “I started asking for signs. And you guys, Nick started answering right away,” Kloots says.

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A post shared by Amanda Kloots (@amandakloots)

One of her most powerful answers came through the radio. Kloots asked Nick to play Led Zeppelin’s “Going to California,” the song that was playing when he died, before the day ended. It was an unlikely request; she says she had heard the song on the radio only once in six years. But later that evening, a DJ unexpectedly decided to play the track. “Here’s Going to California,” he announced. Kloots pulled over and began crying. “Ask for signs,” Kloots says. “They will show up. They will respond. You’ve got to believe it.”

#5. It’s important to move your body

Kloots believes grief creates energy that needs somewhere to go. “Movement heals, you guys. Go on a walk, exert the energy, put good music on. It is so important,” she reveals.

She first discovered movement’s emotional power while going through her divorce. The lesson became even more important as Nick was fighting for his life. “I haven’t stopped moving since,” she says.

As a fitness entrepreneur, Kloots understands that her advice could sound like a recommendation to squeeze in another workout. She makes it clear that movement does not need to involve a gym or a perfectly planned routine. “Yes, I own a fitness company. Yes, I love moving my body. I love fitness. I love working out. But I’m not even talking about having to even do that,” she says.

A walk counts. So does turning on music and letting your body release some of what it has been carrying. “Don’t stay stagnant. Exert the energy, get it out of your body,” she advises.

#6. Most importantly, make sure to live

Kloots’ final lesson brings the previous five together. Losing Nick when he was 41 made life’s fragility impossible to ignore, but it also showed her how much living is still available after loss.

Living, for her, means staying connected to Nick while remaining present for herself and their son, Elvis. It means choosing joy over betrayal, extending grace when people get it wrong, trusting the signs that bring her comfort, and moving her body when grief feels stuck. None of those choices requires her to love or miss Nick any less.

Over the past six years, Kloots has raised Elvis, built a new life in Los Angeles, and allowed herself to keep moving forward without treating grief like a chapter she needs to close. Some days are still deeply painful. Others hold laughter, love, and possibility. She has learned to welcome all of them. Grief may always be her roommate, but it no longer runs the entire house.

To hear more about Amanda Kloots’ story, listen to Good Grief wherever you get your podcasts.

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