Holiday Burnout Is Real—And Gift Culture Is a Big Reason Why, According to ‘Give It to Me Straight’

December has a funny way of turning grown adults into unpaid event coordinators. You’re not even “getting in the spirit” anymore—you’re just managing a rolling list of micro-deadlines. Gifts, stocking stuffers, teacher presents, Secret Santa, shipping cutoffs, wrapping, and somehow…Elf on the Shelf logistics?

On Give It To Me Straight, hosts Alexandra Madison and Jon Bouffard say what a lot of people are thinking: gift culture is wildly out of control—and half the time, it doesn’t even make anyone happier. Their holiday hot take is simple. Stop buying random stuff people don’t need, stop guessing, and stop piling extra tasks onto an already chaotic season. 

Here’s what they’d do instead (and how to steal their approach without becoming the Grinch).

The holidays became a to-do list

“Elf on the Shelf. Parents, is there anyone out there who doesn’t do it?” Alex asks. “You have enough to do as a parent. Why are we adding things to do?”

Somewhere along the way, the season stopped being about showing up and started being about keeping up. Every year, more gets added to the list. Not because anyone asked for it, but because it’s become expected.

And it’s not just Elf on the Shelf. Jon asks why everything comes with extra steps. “Why do bachelorette parties have seven different f*cking events? Why do people have baby showers? Why do people have birthday parties? Why do people give gifts?” The point isn’t that celebrating is bad. It’s that celebration has turned into production. And that pressure? It usually lands on one person. 

Alex reads a listener story about a woman who’s planning all the gifts, stocking stuffers, and activities this season. Her husband asks what she wants for Christmas. She tells him. She sends the exact link. It’s on sale. His solution? She should just order it herself and he’ll wrap it. “It sent me into orbit,” the listener says—because even her own gift became another item on her holiday checklist.

“She’s like, ‘I’m planning all the gifts, the stocking stuffers, the activities,’ and it’s like, why is it all on her?” Alex asks. That question is the real reality check. The stress isn’t coming from the season—it’s coming from the invisible work we’ve normalized. And once you see it, it’s hard to unsee.

Stop buying stuff. Start giving with intention.

It’s way too easy to buy things nowadays. “Amazon purchases are so quick, immediate, and right there,” Alex says. “People get trigger happy where it’s just like, ‘Oh my god, purchase purchase purchase,’ without actually thinking about the other person.”

The result? A lot of stuff no one needed, wrapped in paper that’ll be in the trash by noon. One listener—a new mom of twins—describes it perfectly. “No matter how much I say the girls have a lot of things, we have a small home with not a lot of storage…nobody listens…I feel like I’m screaming into the void,” she says.

That’s the disconnect. Gift-giving has become more about the act of buying than the experience of receiving. And when everyone defaults to stuff, the burden doesn’t disappear—it just shifts. Someone has to store it. Organize it. Donate it. Feel guilty about not using it. Clutter isn’t neutral. It’s mental noise.

Boundaries are the new holiday tradition

So what do you actually do when the system feels broken—but you still have to participate? You set limits. And you stop apologizing for them.

For big families, Jon suggests thinking household, not headcount. One listener asked how to handle buying gifts for 28 nieces and nephews on a tight budget. His advice? Zoom out. “Maybe figure out how to get a holistic gift for each family,” he says. “If your brother or sister has five kids, what can I get that household, one thing?” And just to be clear, “They can’t expect you to get a gift individually for each kid.”

When it comes to teacher gifts, Alex wants you to stop competing. “I just don’t think it’s necessary to break the bank just to make yourself look good,” she says. Her suggestions are refreshingly simple—baked cookies, a handmade ornament, a framed class photo. “I don’t think anyone expects anything from people,” she adds. “If you get anything as a human, you should just be appreciative.”

And for the people in your life who keep giving you stuff you’ve explicitly said you don’t want? “Give it back to them and say, ‘Oh, thank you so much, can you donate it? We actually don’t need it.’” Alex suggests before Jon quickly admits he probably “doesn’t have the balls” to try that. The more realistic option? “Unfortunately, the answer is just take it to the face and then go donate it,” he says. 

But the point isn’t perfection. It’s effort—and intention. “Just everybody put a little bit of effort in for your partner,” Alex says. “A little goes a long way.” Whether that’s a thoughtful $10 gift, asking what someone actually wants, or taking one thing off your partner’s plate, the bar isn’t magic. It’s presence. Because maybe the most generous thing you can do this season isn’t more, but protecting your own bandwidth, setting boundaries that work for you, and giving yourself permission to opt out of the chaos.

To hear the full conversation, tune into Give It To Me Straight, streaming now wherever you get your podcasts.

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