Holly Madison has spoken openly about her autism diagnosis in recent years—but in a new episode of You Wish, she takes things a step further. She sits down with the clinical psychologist who diagnosed her, Dr. Lauren Kerwin, to unpack the little details many may not know about living on the spectrum.
But before they get into the clinical insight, Madison answers her own frequently asked questions about her diagnosis and day-to-day life. She also acknowledges the fact that many individuals who are diagnosed have it more difficult than her, noting that she’s only level one on the spectrum. “I understand and like I don’t present like everybody on the spectrum and there’s so many people who have a much more difficult time,” she says.
In the conversation, Madison offers a clearer picture of what life on the spectrum can actually look like—especially for someone who wasn’t diagnosed until adulthood.
Below are the highlights from her mini Q&A, adapted from the episode.
Holly Madison’s Autism Diagnosis Q&A
How open are you about your autism diagnosis?
“I’m very, very comfortable bringing it up if I ever feel like it is pertinent. If I feel like it explains my motivations or something I’m doing, I’m totally open to telling anybody about it, whether it’s somebody I just met, somebody I’ve been working with for a while, or somebody I know a little bit better. I feel like for somebody at a level one autism, you could very well go through your life masking and not telling very many people at all. But for me, personally, I’m super comfortable telling anybody about it.”
Did autism impact your childhood or adulthood more?
“I actually think it impacted my young adulthood a little bit more. It was definitely evident in my childhood. I grew up until age 10 in Alaska, in a very remote small town. And one thing I love about Alaskans is they are such individuals. They’re so independent, and differences are celebrated. There’s not a lot of conformity up in Alaska, so I didn’t really feel super different until we moved to Oregon when I was in 4th grade…
…That’s when I noticed things were different, and back then, before I had a diagnosis, I kind of just blamed it on being raised in the woods, which doesn’t really make any sense cause my sister was also raised in the woods, and she has completely normal social skills and everything like that, but that’s just what I thought it was. And as a young adult, you know, I struggled to make normal relationships and keep normal relationships.”
How has autism affected your relationships?
“I was just never giving people the kind of social interaction they expected…I think once we got to the point in a relationship, you know, where a guy was excited to date me, he made me realize we weren’t really connecting on a verbal or intellectual level, and be kind of weirded out by it.”
What does burnout feel like for you?
“I’m never not tired…Sometimes going out and being in a social setting is a lot more taxing, because you’re kind of doing a lot more internally and expending a lot more effort just to do what a neurotypical person can kind of do naturally…so, I say it’s all about boundaries, expressing your boundaries, getting to know what you can handle, and telling the people in your life what that is when it’s appropriate.”
What helps you manage day-to-day life?
“List making is another really big thing for me. People on the spectrum often thrive in routine. They know what to expect. They know how to approach things. And list making helps me so much…When I’m really on top of things, I like to write a list of everything I need to do the next day before I go to sleep.”
What are some early signs you experienced?
“I remember my first sensory sensitivity that I really noticed when I was a kid was I hated going to malls. It would make me melt down—everything from the air in there felt different, just like the circulated air conditioning and the fluorescent lights in a lot of the department stores and the noises and the smell of perfume. Like to this day, I don’t like shopping. I’m not like the typical girl like that. Like I’ll order everything. It’s not fun for me to go to a store, and I think it comes from that.”
To hear Holly Madison’s full discussion and interview with Dr. Lauren Kerwin, listen to You Wish wherever you get your podcasts.
Read More
- Madison Marilla and Her Dad Get Honest About the Years Before ‘Love on the Spectrum’
- Love on the Spectrum’s Madison Marilla Is Rewriting What People Think Love Looks Like
- One Relationship Coach Says You May Be 2 Habits Away From a Better Relationship
Leave a Reply