Hooking Up Sucks Right Now—And ‘What We Said’ Proves It With These Horror Stories

We’ve all been there. You wake up, check your phone, and immediately get that sinking feeling as last night’s events replay in your mind. Maybe it was the way they dismissed your boundaries, or how they suddenly turned ice-cold the moment they got what they wanted. Whatever it was, your gut knew something was off, but you ignored it. It’s not just you. Hookup culture has become a wasteland of basic human decency, and the proof is everywhere.

On What We Said, hosts Jaci Smith and Chelsey Curtis read their listeners’ most jaw-dropping hookup horror stories, and their genuine shock says it all. These aren’t just individual bad experiences—they’re symptoms of how completely broken casual dating has become.

Love-bombing before the Uber even leaves

There used to be a time when dating meant actually getting to know someone before they started planning your future together. Not anymore. One listener shares how a guy she had just met announced within 24 hours that he was “all in” and that she was the only person he wanted to pursue. When she told him she was talking to other people, he broke down crying in her bed, acting like she had just ended a long-term relationship. She admits she was holding back laughter, wondering, “Whose little boy is this?”

This is a classic case of love-bombing. It looks like romance on the surface, but it’s really someone using intensity to trap you in fast. Psychologist Alaina Tiani explained to the Cleveland Clinic that while big gestures can feel flattering at first, the goal is often control, not genuine connection.

The fact that this has an actual clinical name tells you how often it happens. If someone you barely know is crying over exclusivity, that’s not passion, it’s manipulation. Trust your gut when the pace feels off, and don’t be afraid to hit pause before things spin out of control.

Playing the victim for attention

One listener shares a story about a guy who went from clingy to unhinged in record time. When she made it clear she wasn’t ready to commit, he didn’t just take the L. Instead, he pulled the ultimate sympathy stunt: texting her that he was in the hospital just so she would call. When she confronted him, he admitted he made the whole thing up. “Telling you he’s in the hospital is diabolical,” points out Smith. “Ew, they’ll really do anything.” 

Psychologists call this kind of behavior “victim playing,” and it’s basically guilt-tripping turned into an art form. The whole point is to flip the script so you feel like the heartless one, even though you’ve done nothing wrong. It’s a way to keep you emotionally hooked without putting in the actual effort of respect or honesty.

So how do you deal with it? Don’t take the bait. You don’t owe anyone a reward for lying or staging fake emergencies. If someone’s default move is to make you feel guilty for having boundaries, that’s not a partner. That’s a red flag with Wi-Fi.

When basic hygiene becomes your health hazard

It’s 2025, and bad hygiene isn’t just gross. It’s officially one of the biggest dating deal breakers. A survey of Gen Z and millennial daters found that 39 percent listed poor hygiene as a top reason to swipe left. And in case that isn’t clear enough, another study named it one of the biggest instant turnoffs when someone tries to flirt.

One listener learned that lesson the hard way. After hooking up with a guy who didn’t exactly prioritize cleanliness down there, she ended up with strep throat. “I hate the freaking bacteria, that is the sickest part of it all,” Curtis says, while Smith admits just thinking about it makes her skin crawl.

Hygiene might sound like the bare minimum, but it’s also non-negotiable. If someone can’t show up with basic self-care, they’re showing you how little they respect themselves—and you. Protect your well-being by making hygiene a line you don’t budge on.

The post-hookup cold shoulder

One listener shares a story that screams “red flag.” Right after hooking up, the guy looked at her and said, “You don’t need aftercare, do you? ’Cause I hate that shit.”

It’s the clearest proof that hookup culture is running on empty. Respect and care seem to disappear the second someone gets what they came for. According to sex therapist Dr. Edward Ratush, “aftercare is important whether you’re in a committed relationship or not,” because sex can be emotionally intense and vulnerable. Even in casual settings, a little aftercare is part of basic decency. A glass of water, a quick check-in, or five minutes of not acting like a jerk isn’t exactly asking for the world.

And that’s the bigger point: Hookups are supposed to be fun and simple, but too often they cross into careless and even cruelty. If someone can’t manage the bare minimum of kindness afterward, that tells you everything you need to know about their vibe.

Can hookups get better from here?

Here’s where we land after unpacking all the chaos: Yes, casual dating does suck right now, but the fact that people are talking about it, feeling frustrated, and demanding better is exactly why there’s hope. The big shift? Today’s singles are choosing quality over quantity. According to Bumble, 87 percent of users say their dating lives are thriving, and more than half describe themselves as hopeless romantics. Instead of grand gestures, many are leaning into “micro-mance”—little moments like inside jokes, memes, or playlists that show you genuinely care. 

There’s also a noticeable move away from screens. In Boston, for instance, daters are ditching swipe culture and opting for in-person meetups, IRL events, and even matchmaking services. Meanwhile, in Australia, young singles are rediscovering speed dating and themed social mixers as a breath of fresh air from superficial app interactions.

So, what does this tell us? While hookup culture might feel like a wasteland of basic decency right now, fresh alternatives are emerging: “slow dating,” ”micro-mances,” and real-life connections. They won’t fix everything overnight, but they’re clues that maybe, just maybe, we’re ready to rebuild.

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