Parenting

Self-Care Isn’t Enough to Fix Your Parenting Burnout. Here’s How to Break Free From the Stress Loop

August 3, 2025

Stress Loop: How to Stop Burnout From Affecting Your Parenting

There’s a difference between stress and burnout, especially in parenting, and Kristin Gallant and Deena Margolin are here to explain why that matters. On After Bedtime with Big Little Feelings, the cohosts dissect the parent stress loop that is all too common. It’s the wash-rinse-repeat cycle where parents do everything for everyone and burn the candle at both ends, only to feel more exhausted.

You’ve tried breaks, rest, naps, baths, and deep breathing, but nothing is taking a crack at that burnout.

If you’ve been barely holding it together as a parent, don’t be so hard on yourself. Gallant and Margolin have expert advice (Margolin is a child behavior expert) on how to manage the burnout that is causing you to snap, numb out, and shut down. It boils down to science and what is happening in your brain, your body, and your nervous system.

The duo dissects how to discern if you are caught in a stress loop, plus the science-backed tools to feel better and daily shifts to finally help you recover from burnout.

Stress Loop: How to Stop Burnout From Affecting Your Parenting

The difference between stress and burnout

Burnout is a trendy word, but what does it mean? It’s critical to know the difference as a parent. Gallant says that burnout is more than feeling tired or needing a break. “It’s something much deeper,” she explains. “Honestly, burnout is more dangerous than that.”

From a psychological standpoint, Margolin explains that burnout is emotional exhaustion, depersonalization, and a reduced sense of accomplishment and efficacy. “That resonates deeply for me when I am burned out,” she says. “Nothing feels like anything, and all the good stuff just feels like relief.”

Burnout is the result of long-term, chronic stress without relief. It’s when you can’t recharge and reset, and you feel numb or like you are feeling even when you are doing your best.

Gallant remembers a time when she was struggling with burnout. “I was sleeping enough, and my kids were sleeping, but I still woke up bone tired,” she recalls. “I was getting time to myself and doing self-care, but I still felt numb, and I couldn’t access joy.”

Signs that you’re stuck in a stress loop

That nonstop, chronic stress loop wrecks your energy, mood, and connection with your kids and your partner. Some signs of burnout include feeling emotionally flat and disconnected, having a short fuse, fantasizing about escaping or disappearing, feeling like you are doing everything but nothing is working, or dreading the day.

“Those things are not just tired, but it’s your nervous system screaming at you that it’s had enough,” Margolin explains.

While feeling stressed is normal, feeling trapped in a state of stress isn’t. “You are supposed to come out of that stressed state once the stressor passes,” Margolin adds. “But in modern life, especially as a parent with kids, you rarely get out of the cycle.”

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6 science-backed tools that will help you feel better

You can’t solve the stress cycle by removing stressors alone. Instead, you need to actively complete the stress cycle in your body. “Rest alone doesn’t always do that,” Gallant says. “Sleep or a glass of wine doesn’t always do that. In the past, I was doing this all wrong.”

The good news is you don’t have to overhaul your life to overcome burnout. Here are six evidence-based actions that signal safety to your nervous system.

Movement: Margolin says 20 to 30 minutes is excellent, but if you’re busy, take whatever time you have to move your body. Gallant agrees about the power of movement. “The second that your kids are overwhelming you, just go into the pantry, and shake it out,” she says. “I will literally turn on a song if I am feeling overwhelmed, and I will close the loop by dancing to it.”
Breathing: Slow, deep breathing is essential to close the stress cycle. Margolin emphasizes long exhales. “It tells your brain you are safe,” she says. “You can try something like inhaling four seconds in and exhaling eight seconds out.”
Positive social connection: Even a quick text to your bestie or a 20-second hug can help your nervous system and body reset. “Co-regulation is essential,” Margolin explains. “You just want to connect with someone who gets it.”
Laughter: Full body laughter releases tension and completes the stress cycle. According to Margolin, event a humorous meme—she loves sending memes of goats—can bring healing.
Crying: Shoving down tears is a natural inclination, but Gallant says it’s essential to remember that crying is a healthy response. “Crying in the car while you eat a granola bar and staring into space is healing,” Margolin adds. “A full crying session is 100 percent completion of the stress cycle; let your body do the work for you.”
Creative expression: Whether you choose journaling, drawing, singing, or writing, creating helps externalize emotion, and it signals release. Gallant says it’s not about being good. “I’m sure many adults don’t engage in creative expression because they worry about it being good,” she explains. “But just sing or whip out your kids’ markers.”