How to ‘Talk’ to Your Pet, Whether They’re Beside You or Already Gone

For a lot of people, pets stopped being “just pets” a long time ago. They’re family, therapists, tiny roommates and, if we’re being honest, sometimes our favorite person in the house. More than 80 percent of pet owners now consider their animal their child, and nearly half of Americans say they’d pick a pet over having kids.

On Dear Gabby, host Gabrielle Bernstein sits down with animal communicator Tami Hendrix, who believes that bond runs even deeper than we realize—and that it doesn’t end when a pet passes. Better yet, she says you can tap into it right now, whether your animal is asleep at your feet or waiting for you on the other side.

How to Connect With Your Pet on a Soul Level, According to an Animal Communicator

Just be with them, that’s the whole first move

Before you try to “hear” anything, Hendrix says to drop the agenda entirely. “Just be with them. That’s the first step, is just to be present with them, not asking for any communication to come through.” The catch is that real presence is harder than it sounds in a world where most of us are half-scrolling through every quiet moment. Animals feel that. “The shared presence is the communication,” she says, and cats especially won’t come close until you actually settle in. Think of it less as a task and more as sitting in the same room as someone you love without needing to fill the silence.

Write them a letter (yes, by hand)

This is Hendrix’s favorite way to reach a pet who has passed, and it works because it sneaks past your overthinking brain. “Writing a letter is one of the best ways to do it because it opens the heart channel,” she says. “Especially when you’re writing—actually with a pen on paper—it bypasses the mind.” Keep it simple:

• Start with “Dear [name]”
• Write “I love you and I want you to know,” then let it pour
• Don’t edit, don’t judge it, just keep the pen moving

She’s upfront that it might get emotional (“it might be a Kleenex episode”) and that your mind will scoff that it’s pointless. Let it. “That’s your job. It gets you out of the way.”

Let them write back

Once the first letter empties you out, Hendrix says to flip the pen and let your pet respond through you. Your brain will immediately call it made-up. “It’s my imagination. Just keep going,” she says. “The animal will come through in that and may say some very profound things.” She learned this after losing a dog in a way she couldn’t accept, and the reply that came through stopped her cold. Her own letter began “Dear Sasha, I love you and I want you to know.” What came back opened with “Dear mom, I love you and I want you to know…” She wasn’t fishing for a message, she says, just sharing her heart, which is exactly what made room for one to land.

Watch for signs, but chase the message, not the feathers

Deceased pets tend to reach out in ways we brush past, Hendrix says, because we’re scanning for a specific checklist. “We’ve got this long list of signs, feathers or rainbows or ladybugs, and that’s fine, they do come through.” Her point is that the sign itself is just the wrapper. “We’re really interested in the message behind the sign. The sign’s just the form.” Pets show up in dreams, in songs, in an oddly familiar new animal, sometimes in that split-second where you swear you tripped over one who isn’t there anymore. Stay open to the format instead of demanding one.

When grief hits, ask for a happy memory

Losing a pet can feel like the floor dropping out, and Hendrix doesn’t tell you to rush past it. “Be present with the grief. Don’t push it away.” But she offers one gentle move for the moments it swallows you: “Ask your pet, ‘Please show me a memory that will help me shift so I can feel you.'” The second a happy memory surfaces, she says, your whole state changes, because you forget for a beat that you’re grieving. 

A few things to know before you try

• You already speak the language. Hendrix insists this isn’t a new skill to learn. “You already know the language. Go to your heart.” You’ve been doing wordless “heart telepathy” with your pet the whole time.
• A photo is a shortcut. For a pet who has crossed over, sit with a picture, look at them, and let yourself feel the love. She calls it a “segue to spirit.”
• The first three weeks are especially open. After a loss, Hendrix says reality feels torn in a way that leaves you unusually receptive to dreams and insights, so pay attention.
• Insights often land while you’re doing something boring. She got one of her clearest messages mid-vacuuming. Don’t force it; let it come.

If there’s one idea holding all of this together, it’s that connecting with an animal, here or gone, doesn’t take special powers or perfect words. It takes showing up with an open heart and no agenda. As Hendrix puts it, once you’re truly present with them, “you will already be connected.”

Want the full conversation, plus the guided meditation to connect with your own pet? Listen to the full episode on Dear Gabby, available wherever you listen to podcasts.

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