How to Manage Negative Thoughts: Strategies That Actually Help

Everyone seems to have a strategy for managing negative thoughts. Some people manifest while they sleep (yes, it’s a thing), others listen to gratitude podcasts—different things work for different people! Ultimately, negative thought patterns are something everyone experiences. But left unchecked? They can shape how you see yourself, your relationships, and everyday situations. 

A majority of people struggle with a few common themes. Think: self-criticism, constant mental replaying, or even worst-case-scenario thinking. Sure, they’re common—but that doesn’t mean you have to just “deal with it.” To help you find strategies that actually work, we thought, who better to lead the conversation than After Bedtime with Big Little Feelings? 

One of their latest episodes, “6 Thinking Traps to Catch, Change, and Feel Instantly Better,” offered a treasure trove of valuable advice. The exact kind of advice that you can use episodes from all of our other Dear Media hosts to build off of!

So that’s exactly what we’re doing today. Below, we’re sharing a practical guide for managing negative thought patterns. We’ll talk about what they are, what they look like, how they affect you, and what you can do to stop negative thoughts mid-spiral. Because all you really need is a solid, supportive strategy.

DISCLAIMER: This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. If negative thoughts feel intense, persistent, or are affecting your wellbeing, talking with a doctor, therapist, or mental health professional can help. If you’re in crisis or feel unsafe, seek immediate support.

How to Manage Negative Thoughts: Strategies That Actually Help

Negative thoughts aren’t just irritating. They can quietly influence your mood, behavior, relationships, productivity, sleep, self-esteem, and SO much more. But here’s the thing: the goal isn’t to force positivity or suppress difficult emotions. (Learn why this can be 10x more harmful in “Why ‘Good Vibes Only’ Is RUINING Your Spiritual Growth” from Dear Gabby.)

Instead, the most effective approach is to develop a healthy mindset. When you focus on awareness, healthier coping strategies, stress reduction, support systems, and self-compassion rather than perfection or complete control? You’ll unlock the secret to managing negativity and improving your mental health.

And it doesn’t have to be nearly as hard as it sounds. So! Turn on After Bedtime with Big Little Feelings, follow up with “The Trial and Error of Fixing Your Mental Health” from Don’t Think, and let’s talk more about what negative thoughts are.

What Are Negative Thoughts?

Negative thoughts are patterns of thinking that focus on fear, criticism, failure, hopelessness, embarrassment, or worst-case scenario outcomes. Sometimes, they appear suddenly without any real cause. Other times, they become recurring mental habits that shape how you interpret situations and respond emotionally. 

But, if nobody’s told you yet, what you may be spiraling about probably isn’t as urgent as your brain thinks it is. (Which is exactly what “Successful Women Appearing Normal: Inside the SWAN Experience with Stevie Blum” from With Whit talked about.)

That said, it’s one thing to know this—it’s another to recognize it mid-meltdown. Negative thoughts aren’t always easy to spot in real time, especially because they don’t always appear irrational or dramatic. They can be subtle, believable, and silently shape your day-to-day.

After Bedtime with Big Little Feelings describes this PERFECTLY, saying, “Your brain doesn’t just have thoughts. Your brain believes the thoughts.” They go further, stating, “It goes, this feels true. I’m panicking. React instantly. There’s no pause in between unless we make a pause.” Listen to this part of their conversation HERE!

Are Negative Thoughts Normal?

Negative thoughts are TOTALLY normal! They’re a regular part of human psychology, especially during stress or uncertainty. Let’s break it down. 

Research shows that, on average, humans have between 12,000 and 60,000 thoughts per day. In one SINGLE day! Is every one of those thoughts going to be positive? No, of course not. No matter the situation, we all have moments of doubt, insecurity, uncertainty, hopelessness—the list goes on. So, yes, it’s absolutely normal. 

And here’s something even more important to remember, per Deena and Kristin’s advice: you are not your thoughts. You HAVE thoughts, but you’re just… experiencing them. They’re, most of the time, automatic things you can’t control.

However, there’s a difference between negative thoughts and persistent negative thinking. If you feel like you truly can’t shake that energy, it could be your brain signaling to something more serious—like anxiety, depression, burnout, or chronic stress. You can actually learn a TON about this in “Beyond Myers-Briggs & Enneagram: Human Design, Gene Keys, & the Science of Living Authentically | Emma Dunwoody” from The Art of Being Well!

If you’re still not sure where you fall, let’s look at a few real-life examples of negative thoughts:

What Are Examples of Negative Thoughts?

Feel exhausted even when you’re doing everything right? You’re not alone—even in the slightest. Here are a handful of negative thoughts that can show up in your daily routine, broken down by type (because, yes, there’s a lot of them):

All-or-Nothing Thinking:

• “I didn’t get the raise I wanted, so my boss must think I’m terrible at my job.”
• “My presentation in class had a typo—I messed up the entire thing.”
• “I slept through my morning yoga class, so my entire wellness routine is ruined.”
• “He didn’t text me back ALL day—I’ll never really find the one.”
• “If I can’t get this hobby right the first time I try, then that just shows I’m not good at anything I do.”

Mental Filtering:

• “5 people complimented my outfit today, but one person pointed out that my laces were untied. So obviously I must have looked like a mess.”
• “So many of my coworkers enjoyed my presentation, but one person pointed out my typo. They probably were just telling me they enjoyed it to make me feel better.”
• “I met a ton of new people at this dinner party earlier, but after I knocked over that glass of wine? The whole night was ruined.”

Jumping to Conclusions:

• “I have a presentation tomorrow, and I already know I’m going to freeze up.”
• “I’m already going to sleep so late tonight, I just know I won’t get all of the things on my to-do list done.”
• “My friends haven’t answered my text in the group chat; I must have done something to offend them.” 
• “My boss asked me to come into his office tomorrow, and it has to be because I’m getting in trouble.”
• “They viewed my Instagram story but didn’t reply to my message, so clearly they’re ignoring me on purpose.”

What Causes Negative Thoughts?

Comparison Culture

Comparison is the root of all evil. Okay, we’re being dramatic, but it is seriously damaging. When you compare yourself to other people, you’re putting yourself in a cycle of negative mental thought patterns. “Why don’t I look like this person?” “How come I’m not as successful as they are?” “What are they doing to ALWAYS look perfect?”

Remember: you’re only seeing the highlight reel—not the behind-the-scenes moments. And this is something B. Simone talks about in “Purpose Over Performance with Serayah McNeill” on Let’s Try This Again. Everyone is battling their own negative thoughts—they just usually don’t post them on IG for everyone to see.

Chronic Stress

Chronic stress can physically rewire your brain—fact. Constant stress hormones can enlarge your brain’s emotional threat center while simultaneously shrinking the areas responsible for things like logic and emotional regulation. And After Bedtime with Big Little Feelings actually discusses this, saying “There’s a part of your brain that’s constantly scanning for threat, your amygdala, and it’s not sitting there like, let me fact check this real quick.”

When that internal alarm is in constant overdrive, it can be harder to emotionally regulate yourself. Think: overreacting to minor things, constantly talking down to yourself, and feeling like you can never shake a bad mood.

Interested in learning more? Tune into “Deepak Chopra on How to Cultivate Inner Peace, Achieve Genuine Happiness, & Heal Your Nervous System” from The Bossticks!

Negative Self-Talk

You can be your own biggest enemy—or biggest advocate. And ultimately, you have the power to decide! But if you’re constantly talking down to yourself, belittling your own emotions, or making assumptions before you have the full story, that power starts working against you. Think of After Bedtime with Big Little Feeling’s episode titled “Manifestation Advice That Actually Makes Sense (Backed by Science, Not Just Vibes…).”

Just like you’d manifest positivity, you can also manifest negativity. It essentially acts as a self-fulfilling prophecy. You criticize yourself, do something to “prove” that belief, your subconscious absorbs this message, and it becomes a cycle of negativity.

Interested in finding a fix? First, keep reading, of course. Second, read our post “How to Change Your Mindset From Negative to Positive.”

Lack of Sleep

If you’re not getting enough sleep, you can definitely expect this to begin messing with your psyche. Whenever you drift off at night, your brain basically goes through a “refresh” cycle. It washes away metabolic waste, shuttles short-term memories, reduces cellular burnout, and balances hormones. 

Cut back on those precious hours, and your emotional center becomes total chaos. More specifically, research shows that the amygdala becomes around 60% more reactive when you’re sleep deprived. Add that to impaired memory suppression, neurotransmitter disruption, and a slower prefrontal cortex, and you’ve created the perfect environment for bad moods and negative thoughts.

Unresolved Past Experiences

It’s no secret that trauma can be a direct source of negative thought patterns. Just listen to Kristin Gallant and Deena Margolin’s conversation in “From Trauma to Peace: Deena’s Third Birth Story!” When you go through something challenging, it has a lasting effect—good or bad. 

And a lot of the time, this can be something you don’t even realize is happening. The brain has a way of protecting itself—and that can be by keeping you in fight-or-flight mode. (Learn more in our post on calming your nervous system!) But ultimately, that 24/7 go-mode often leads to “thinking errors,” like worst-case scenarios or all-or-nothing thinking. 

Speaking of trauma, you have to listen to “Escaping the Children of God Cult ft. Daniella Mestyanek Young” from Khloé in Wonder Land. It’s such a fascinating (and vulnerable!) episode about trauma and healing.

How Do Negative Thoughts Affect You?

Increased Anxiety and Emotional Overwhelm

When your brain doesn’t feel good, your body probably won’t feel great either. Increased anxiety can ultimately impact your physical health, leading to things like higher blood pressure, a weakened immune system, digestive upset, and tension headaches. In other words, the effects of negativity aren’t just bad moods and an RBF—they can result in real health problems. 

And the same goes for emotional overwhelm! When you feel like you can’t control your emotions, this can show up in every aspect of your life.

Sleep Disruptions and Racing Thoughts

We’ve all tossed and turned at night, rethinking when we said “you too!” after our barista said, “enjoy!” Been there—totally normal. Usually, you can just shake it out and move on. But when it comes to negative thoughts? You can’t just turn your brain off and drift gently off to sleep.

In these cases, it literally feels like your brain doesn’t have an off switch. Not only is it aggravating, but it also triggers the release of stress hormones, like cortisol and adrenaline. If you’re looking for a little extra encouragement, read our post on calming cortisol down!

Lower Self-Confidence and Self-Worth

Just like we mentioned earlier about negative self-talk, confidence and self-worth operate on the same principles. The more those thoughts take over, the less likely you are to feel assured, confident, and like the badass you are. Your brain basically learns to listen to the bad.

And the longer this goes on, the more those positive thoughts or compliments go in one ear and out the other. It creates this toxic avoidance cycle that leads you to believe feelings are facts. 

Need a healthy dose of tough love? Tune into She’s So Lucky, specifically “Stop Humbling Yourself: Owning Your Confidence with Alexis Barber.”

Decision Fatigue and Analysis Paralysis

When your brain is constantly fighting an internal battle, it gets tired. You’re navigating self-criticism, perfectionism, fear, procrastination—there’s a lot going on! With this, you’re essentially emptying the tank. You have zero energy to manage daily responsibilities.

Enter: decision fatigue and analysis paralysis—two very real consequences of a mind that’s been running in overdrive for too long. Choosing what to eat for breakfast feels exhausting, so you just… don’t. You get behind and work and, while you want to catch up, feel like you can’t. That daily fatigue sticks around until you create a system to fix it. 

Don’t know where to start? Don’t worry, we’ll get there. But we also super encourage you to check out “Mel Robbins’ 5 Second Rule: Stop Overthinking and Start Doing.”

Difficulty Staying Present

Ruminating, overthinking, overanalyzing—each negatively affects your ability to actually enjoy the NOW. When your brain is stuck replaying yesterday’s awkward interaction or dissecting that text for a hidden meaning, staying in the present moment becomes impossible. (Or, at least, it feels that way.)

Girls Gotta Eat actually has a super helpful episode with Mimi Bouchard about feeling more alive. Your life is happening NOW—and you deserve to experience it. 

How to Manage Negative Thoughts

Pause Before Reacting

Just as Deena and Kristin said in After Bedtime with Big Little Feelings, reactions are automatic. They’re your first instinct before you sit, pause, and give yourself space to actually think before acting. And when you’re in a negative thought spiral? Your reactions probably aren’t as intentional as you want them to be. So, first things first, pause. The goal isn’t to go from meltdown to meditation, it’s just to take a beat. 

Question the Thought

So, you’ve paused, you’re thinking, and your nervous syst

em is waiting for you to strike. Go back to the episode we provided way earlier: “6 Thinking Traps to Catch, Change and You’ll Instantly Feel Better.” Ask yourself: Is this thought actually helping me right now? Then ask: Is it true, exaggerated, or based on fear rather than evidence? When you do this, you intentionally break that loop.

Stop Catasrophizing

Don’t beat on your brain for catastrophizing. We know, easier said than done. But like Deena and Kristin said in THIS part of their podcast, your brain is trying to protect you—and it does that by believing what you repeat. If you always think in the worst-case-scenario mode, your brain will prepare you for that. When you intentionally work to change that, you can stop anticipating the bad things before they happen. (Here’s the good news: they probably won’t happen!)

Separate Feelings From Facts

Feelings are not facts—they’re mental sentences. That’s it. They kinda lose their power when you think about them that way, right? When you start noticing them and can separate them, you regain control. You can intentionally reroute that mental framework rather than going along with whatever your feelings are making you think is reality. 

TL;DR? Feeling anxious, unsure, or insecure doesn’t automatically mean something bad is gonna happen—or that it’s true. It’s simply your brain going along with the system you’ve put in place. Once you’re done listening to After Bedtime with Big Little Feelings? Tune into “OCD and the Never-Ending Thought Loops.” It explains this process perfectly.

Reduce Social Media Comparison

We aren’t here to tell you to delete your apps or restrict your screen time. But we are here to tell you to stop the comparison game. Stop analyzing your own life, trying to figure out how it compares (or doesn’t compare) to those around you. This creates the perfect environment for insecurity, self-criticism, and unrealistic expectations. You can be successful, powerful, confident, and beautiful in your own right—you don’t need to follow someone else’s formula.

Interrupt the Spiral Physically

Don’t just sit with your thoughts, get up and move! Go for a walk, take some deep breaths, follow a few Gabby Bernstein guided meditations, and change your environment. Not only does this physically help stop your spiral, but it also helps regulate stress. You’re not getting anything productive done by staring at the wall and ruminating on your anxiety.

Avoid Overanalyzing Everything

Not everything has a backstory. Not every awkward moment, mistake, or moment of silence has a deeper meaning attached to it. But when you’re overanalyzing everything? It sure feels like it does. Practice just taking things as they are—and letting them be. Just like Deena and Kristin said HERE, people honestly aren’t really even paying us much mind. They’re living their own lives! And the sooner you realize that, the better you’ll feel. 

Replace Absolutes with More Balanced Language

Your brain is what you tell it to be. And we know we keep harping on this, but it’s SO important. If you constantly tell yourself that you’ll fail, disappoint everyone you love, and amount to nothing, with enough time, you truly begin to believe it. Instead of saying things like “I always fail,” approach situations with a mindset like, “This situation is difficult right now.” Things can be hard, overwhelming, and anxiety-inducing, but that doesn’t mean they say anything about your capabilities.

Interested in learning more? Listen to Kristin and Deena talk about the 20% win rule with all-or-nothing thinking.

Focus on Sleep and Stress Levels

Here’s something people often forget to mention: take care of yourself. You’re a better, happier, more confident you when you feel loved, well-rested, and cared for. Remember what we said earlier: exhaustion and burnout don’t just make you feel sh*tty. They literally mess with things like chemicals, hormones, and brain functioning. So, make sure you’re sleeping well, eating good, and enjoying things that make you happy. 

Talk to Someone You Trust

There’s no shame in talking to someone about how you feel. Hence the reason tools like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and talk therapy are SO incredibly powerful—and popular! When you share your thoughts out loud, they help quiet that internal alarm that feels like it never stops. Plus, with the right advice, it can help you begin to challenge distorted thinking. And ultimately, that’s where you want to be.

Tired of dealing with negative thoughts? Follow these tips, and you won’t have to anymore.

We ALL have negative thoughts from time to time. It’s a normal, psychological process that genuinely happens to pretty much everyone. But if we’ve learned anything from After Bedtime with Big Little Feelings, it’s that you don’t have to just live with it. You can create a plan, implement strategies, and use real, science-backed tools to help you reframe your mindset. Just remember: not alone—and you’re definitely not “stuck.” 

Looking for more helpful advice like this? Head to Dear Media! Not only do we have a lot more where this came from, but we also have all the latest on pop culture, health and wellness, personal development, and more. And if you want to hear these updates and advice in person? Then don’t miss Dear Media IRL—where we bring your favorite podcast hosts and their conversations to a city near you!