3 Tools for Anyone Who Leaves Every Social Interaction Feeling Completely Drained

If you’ve ever walked into a room feeling completely fine and left feeling like you got emotionally hit by a bus, Gabrielle Bernstein has some things she wants you to try. On Dear Gabby, she breaks down the three tools she’s been using for over 20 years to stop absorbing everyone else’s energy without having to shut people out entirely. Because the answer isn’t closing yourself off. It’s learning how to stay open without getting wrecked in the process.

The golden bubble morning ritual

Before you leave the house, before you check your phone, before you do anything, Bernstein says to do this:

• Close your eyes and visualize a bubble of golden light surrounding your entire body. “It’s not a wall. It’s a filter,” she says. “It’s this energy surrounding you to filter out any negative vibrations and only let in what’s positive.”
• Envision the edges of that light becoming solid, like breathable glass. Love and guidance get in. Emotional noise and low-vibe energy stay out.
• Say this out loud: “I am the gatekeeper of my energy. I only allow love to enter and only love to leave.”

Bernstein says to do this every single morning for 30 days and watch what shifts. “When you start to create energetic boundaries inside, the external world, the people around you, start to get the memo,” she says. “They get the memo that you’re not open for business. They get the memo that only good vibes are allowed and that they cannot just dump on you.”

The cord-cutting prayer

This one is for when you’ve already absorbed someone else’s energy and you need to get it off you. Maybe it was a draining conversation, a tense meeting, or a family dinner that left you feeling like you need to lie down for three days. Whatever it was, Bernstein says to place your hand on your heart and say: I retrieve any positive energy that I may have lost, and I remove any negative energy that I may have picked up. This is not mine. Remove it now.

“Just take a deep breath. Just feel your power return to your center,” she says. “This is how you reclaim your energy. This is how you reclaim your source of power.” 

The three-word pattern interrupt

If you feel yourself taking on someone else’s energy—your boss’s anger, your friend’s problem, the tension in the room—Bernstein says to stop right there and say three words: “That’s not mine.”

“No amount of you holding their energy can actually help them,” she says. “And no amount of you being drained and your energy carrying theirs can get them to a better place.” She says it out loud whenever she catches herself absorbing. “What it does is it actually releases me from their storyline and helps me relax my body. It reminds me that it’s not my responsibility to hold this for them.”

The whole point isn’t to stop caring about people—it’s the opposite. “The more boundaried you are and the more clear you are about what you’re not willing to pick up, the more loving and compassionate you can be,” Bernstein says. “Because you’re not resentful. You’re not feeling drained. You’re not feeling their burdens. You stay in your light. And by staying in your light, you bring a positive frequency rather than draining yourself with their low vibes.”

Listen to the full episode on Dear Gabby, available wherever you listen to podcasts.

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