‘Trust the Hold Up’ and Other Spiritual Truths for When Life Feels Completely Out of Control

If you’ve ever lit a candle, pulled an oracle card, whispered “I trust the timing” into the void, and then immediately spiraled about your bank account, your relationship, or the general state of the world—this one’s for you. 

On Dear Gabby, host Gabrielle Bernstein tackles the question she gets asked more than anything: how do you actually trust the universe when everything around you feels like it’s crumbling? She shares her own experience with postpartum depression, breaks down why faith seems to vanish exactly when you need it most, and walks through the tools she uses daily to come back to trust. 

Whether you’re deep in your spiritual practice or just getting started, here’s what she wants you to know.

Start seeing the unraveling as an unfolding

“Things are falling apart in front of me because there’s a spiritual grace that’s meant to be given to me,” Bernstein says. Instead of resisting what’s going wrong, she asks one question: what is my spiritual assignment here?

She used this during her own postpartum depression when she was in a place where she didn’t want to live. Her assignment turned out to be seeking help in places she had previously judged, like psychiatric support and antidepressants. “That moment was an assignment,” she explains. “It was begging me to show up for a new perspective.”

Whatever you’re going through right now, whether it’s addiction, depression, financial loss, or just a season that feels impossibly heavy, try asking, ‘what am I meant to learn from this?’ Because if your only job is to learn, you literally can’t fail.

Know that the connection already exists

A lot of people feel like they need to earn their way into a relationship with the universe. Like there’s some spiritual prerequisite they haven’t met yet or some level of enlightenment they need to unlock before they’re allowed to ask for guidance. Bernstein says that’s not how it works. Just by seeking it out, just by being curious enough to look for answers, you’re already tapped in. “Simply being willing to listen to divine guidance is evidence that that connection exists,” she says. 

Whether you call it God, the universe, spirit guides, or just a gut feeling that you can’t quite explain doesn’t matter. “I don’t care what you call it,” Bernstein adds. “I just care that you call upon it.” If you’re here reading this right now…congrats. You already made the call.

Name the fear that’s blocking you

Trust doesn’t disappear because the universe abandoned you. It disappears because fear moved in and took up the whole couch. “We want to have that faith and we want to have that trust, but we have fear or judgment or separation, which acts as this block to the natural connection to the universe,” Bernstein explains.

The fix is deceptively simple:

• Name the fear out loud. “I’m blocking my trust because I’m afraid of XYZ.” Afraid it won’t work out. Afraid you’re not good enough. Afraid you’ll be stuck here forever. Whatever it is, drag it out of the shadows and call it by its name.
• Then say five words: “I am willing to heal.” Bernstein says this one sentence shifts your entire nervous system. You don’t have to know what comes next. You don’t have to have a plan. Just the willingness opens the door.

Trust the hold up

“The universe will block things if it’s not the right time,” Bernstein says. “Sometimes it’ll block things because people will just not do their job properly and you just can’t get it done.” If something keeps stalling no matter how hard you push, maybe it’s not falling apart. Maybe it’s being rearranged. Trust the hold up.

Make it a daily practice, not a one-time fix

Bernstein is very honest about the fact that she still loses it when things feel out of control. “Do I lose my sh*t? Yes. Do I come back within moments? Yes.” The difference between someone who stays grounded in a crisis and someone who spirals isn’t that one of them never feels fear. It’s that one of them knows where to turn when the fear hits. That comes from daily practice, not from a WitchTok binge and one tarot pull.

Some ways to build that muscle:

• Pray every morning, even if it’s just “show me where to go today.” It doesn’t have to be formal or religious. Just open the line.
• When something feels out of control, hand it over. “Thank you, universe, for taking this from me and show me what to do.” Say it, mean it, and then actually let go for 24 hours.
• Keep a running list of every time things worked out, every synchronicity, every moment where you felt genuinely guided. Bernstein calls this “spiritual proof” and says it builds a certainty inside you that fear can’t touch.
• Before bed, tell yourself: I did enough today. I am being guided. I am willing to trust this process even when I can’t see the whole picture.

“The universe is always conspiring for you and for your highest good,” Bernstein says. “And even when it doesn’t look like it, you’re being guided.” Your only job is to stay open to receiving it. Even if that means starting with five words and a messy bun.

Listen to the full episode on Dear Gabby with Gabby Bernstein, available wherever you listen to podcasts.

Read Next

• Gabby Bernstein Meditations: Guided Practices for Inner Peace
• The Archangel Cheat Sheet Every Spiritual Girly Needs Bookmarked
• 7 Ways Your Deceased Loved Ones Are Trying to Contact You, According to a Medium
• 4 Manifesting Practices That Have Nothing to Do With Vision Boards or Hustle