‘Transformers’ Star Josh Duhamel Didn’t Find Peace in Hollywood—He Found It 40 Miles From a Grocery Store

Josh Duhamel has lived a few different lives on paper: soap opera breakout, blockbuster franchise star, and now the guy building a men’s longevity brand. But in his chat with Lauryn and Michael Bosstick on The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Show, he’s honest about the messy parts of life. How terrified he was early on, what finally helped him drop the “guard,” and why returning to North Dakota (and a cabin compound in the woods) became the reset he didn’t know he needed.

Below are the highlights from the conversation, adapted from the episode.

Josh Duhamel Reflects on Fame and Life in North Dakota

What felt like your first ‘I can actually do this’ breakthrough as an actor?

“There was something that happened in an audition for this movie, it was an adaptation of The Picture of Dorian Gray. It was a student film that we shot over in Bulgaria. But in the audition, he had to lose it. He had to lose it. And something came over me, and I just lost it in this audition. And I could see on their faces that, ‘Oh my God.’ And I knew right there that I got the job. And it was that moment that I felt like I’d broken through, broken out of the fear and the self-doubt. And I think that was my first time I sort of felt like I could do this for real.”

Do you think acting is something people can learn?

“I think everybody has this interesting depth to them. It’s a matter of accessing it. And if you can access that on camera, I think anybody can do it. Learning the lines isn’t the hard part. It’s actually living freely and openly as if you’re just doing it like you would at home. And that’s the hardest part, is just letting all that go and if you can do that, I think anybody can do it…It’s therapeutic for me. It’s very cathartic. I love it. I love that I get to go play these characters who if I tried some of this stuff in real life, I’d be in jail…Every scene is different. Every day is different on a set. And I think that’s what I love about it.”

Did your fame happen overnight—or was it more gradual?

“If I’m in my own head, it was instantaneous, and it was this massive thing. But in real life, it was kind of a slow burn for me too. I was on All My Children for three years, and I guess I had a bit of a bump when I left after three years…It was never a rocket to stardom for me. It’s always kind of been gradual. And I think those three years on All My Children were a great boot camp, a great way to sort of understand media on a smaller scale and understand how to hit my light, how to learn lines, how to do all these things…I wasn’t this kid who was suddenly here, and now I’m on Transformers. I got to sort of make mistakes along the way that weren’t too damaging.”

Why did you end up falling back in love with North Dakota?

“I think that when I left North Dakota, I couldn’t wait to leave. I was so ready to go because I’d gone all the way through high school and then went to college in the same town that I grew up in. So I couldn’t wait to leave. It was like, ‘I’m ready.’ I was ready…I’d just been there for too long. And if you were to ask me then, no, I’m never going back. Or if I do, I’m going to be 80. But then as I got older, it’s almost like you have to leave to really appreciate your roots. And it was that. And I fell in love with the state again. It’s an amazing state, North Dakota…

…Then I met a girl from there, my wife, Audra…she’s very much a family girl, very much loves to be home. She has a cabin in Minnesota not far from where we’re at. So it was kind of perfect…She helped me fall back in love with it. And now we’re residents of the state again, and I love it there.”

How did you meet your wife, Audra?

“I had a barbecue at my house. It was some of my friends from Hollywood. It was some of my old friends from back home. There were kids…It was just like a good old-fashioned barbecue. And she and I had been in contact because I knew that she was from North Dakota. She’d done really, really well in Miss USA. I wasn’t even inviting her because I wanted to date her because she was too young for me, to be honest…So I invite her, and she comes to the door. I’m like, ‘Holy sh*t. She’s so beautiful and tall.’ And I was still like, ‘No, no, no…’ 

…We hardly even talked at the barbecue where she was like, ‘This dude has no interest in me.’ She left, and I was with her friend at the thing. I was like, ‘Whatever.’ But I remember the little bit of interaction I did have with her. We talked, and we did whatever, but I was entertaining at a barbecue. I was taking care of everybody. And I remember her taking care of these kids that were at the party, making sure that they had enough goldfish or whatever it was she was giving them. And I was like, ‘Huh, that reminds me of home and the kind of girl that I want to really be with.’

And I’d gone through a couple relationships with girls here in LA, and it just wasn’t the same. There was something really sort of wholesome about it. And I think that that’s when I was like, ‘Hmm. Maybe she’s not too young.’”

What does your day-to-day look like when you’re in ‘dad mode’ away from LA?

“We’ve got a smaller place in Fargo. We’re going to build there eventually. But we have a property in Minnesota, which is about an hour and a half from Fargo. And we spend a lot of time at our cabin in the woods on the lake. I’ve had this for like 17 years now. And over the last 10, I’ve really put a lot of work into developing it. And so I’ve started with one little cabin. It was just a little sh*t-box up on the hill with no electricity, no water. It was an old hunting cabin infested with mice.

It was bad…there was an outhouse. It was a whole thing. And then I bought the property next to that for $189,000, 26 acres, a beautiful little cabin on the water. It’s amazing. And it’s my happy place, man. I just love it there so much…I’ve since put electricity and water in both of them. And now they’re these really cute little guest cabins. But we needed something big and something to hold my tractor and my four-wheelers…It’s like my own little compound out in the woods…

…I think for me, a normal day out there is just I just work all day, just fixing things, taking care of kids. ‘Okay. Something needs to be fixed over here. Okay. I got to run up and grab fire,’ whatever it is. It’s a great way for them to see me and teach them things outside of the amenities that we’re used to because it’s really just about being in the moment, figuring out what we got to do because we’re 40 miles from anything. There’s not even a store within 40 miles.”

When did you get serious about longevity and men’s health—and why start Gatlan?

“I’ve always had a real curiosity about it just because maybe out of vanity in the beginning, just because I wanted to stay as youthful and athletic and virile as I could for as long as I could. But then it became more about being there for my wife, for my kids who are very young. But I kept this thing a secret for so long because I didn’t want to tell people that I was taking testosterone or peptides and these things because it was kind of my dirty little secret that I had some shame around…

My friend Fabian came to me and says, ‘Hey, we have this company that we’re starting.’ and they’d been doing a lot of the blocking and all the FDA compliance…And so first, I was like, ‘No way. I’m not going to be the face of that.’ But then I thought, ‘Why not?’ Because it’s only massively improved my life. It’s kept me feeling great as I’ve gotten older, into my mid-40s, 50. Now I’m 53. I feel better than I did in my 20s and 30s…

…I was like, ‘Why don’t I shine a light on this thing? Why don’t I teach people or show guys that it’s okay to, first of all, talk about it, get your levels tested?’ And that was kind of the beginning of it. And now I just have this full-on curiosity about all the latest and greatest stuff that’s coming out. How do we build this company and help as many people as we can?”

Any truth to another Transformers happening?

“I don’t know. I haven’t heard. I just posted the photo…I loved working with Michael Bay and that whole team. It was so much fun…I remember just sitting there going, ‘Holy crap.’ That was by far the biggest thing I’d ever been on…I did all of them except the fourth one. And now they’ve done other versions of it.”

To hear Josh Duhamel’s full conversation, listen to The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Show wherever you get your podcasts.

Read More

• ‘Girls Gotta Eat’ Breaks Down This Week’s Most Unhinged Pop Culture Moments
• ‘Queer Eye’ Star Antony Porowski Is Trading the Kitchen for Adventure: ‘I’m Like Indiana Jones Meets Anthony Bourdain’
• ‘Scheananigans’ Admits They Were ‘One of the Biggest Tyra Banks Defenders’—Until Now