Kaley Cuoco Opens Up About Turning 40, Letting Go of Guilt, and Life Beyond Fame

If you’ve ever wondered how someone who grew up on camera stays emotionally intact—or what actually shifts once motherhood, long-term love, and 40 all hit at the same time—Kaley Cuoco answers it honestly.

The actress sits down with host Amanda Hirsch on Not Skinny But Not Fat for a conversation that moves easily between her new MGM+ miniseries Vanished and the less-performative parts of her life. Cuoco talks openly about jealousy in relationships, the emotional weight of turning 40, and the clarity that came with leaving her daughter, Matilda, at home while filming in France. She also revisits moments from her Big Bang Theory years with hindsight—including a Botox decision she laughs about now—and explains why acting no longer gets to be her entire identity.

Below are the strongest moments from the episode, adapted from Not Skinny But Not Fat.

What was turning 40 like for you?

“I cried for like two weeks. It wasn’t because I was turning 40, but it was an emotional thing that came with it for me. I’m not sure why. Birthdays have gotten a little more emotional over the years. For me, it’s just, I think the older you get, the more it’s [apparent that] time’s passing and family and parents getting older and your child. It’s just weird. It’s things you don’t think about at 20 and 30…

…So I’m definitely a little more sensitive these days. I’m actually glad I’m done with my 30s. I feel like I know so much more now…It was just a little emotional. Just knowing how fast life goes and trying to take and be like, oh my God, like what happened over these, you know, these last years? How did we get here?…

…But then looking at it and going, ‘Wow, I’ve lived like a lot, there’s a lot going on.’ When you have a kid, as you know, it’s just more emotional. Everything makes me very emotional now because of her.”

Did you feel guilty leaving Matilda while you filmed in France?

“I didn’t feel bad at all. I also knew my commitment to this job. I wanted to do this movie or this 4-part miniseries. I wanted to commit to it. I had a lot of work I had to do. I needed to focus, and I kept thinking, even if Matilda was here, how awful would this be for her. I’m working all day long, all over the city. I’m barely home. What’s she going to do? Like there was nothing for her to do. It really didn’t make sense…they need their surroundings, their people, they’re the happiest. They’re not like, ‘Oh, beautiful coastline.’ You know what I mean? They’re like, they need what they know. They need what they know.”

How did Matilda handle being away from you?

“Let me tell you something. I FaceTimed that girl. Twice a day. She rarely came to the phone. ‘Oh, she’s in science class. Oh, she’s at the park, she’s on a play date, she’s napping, she’s with grandma, she’s with daddy.’ It was like the schedule and the fun she was having made me so happy…That’s what you want. You don’t want them to be, ‘Where are you?’…She was so happy and so taken care of.”

Are you strict about ‘mom rules’ or do you not stress it?

“I know I’m a good mom. I know I’m a great mom. I love her more than anything on this f**king planet. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her and Tom is the same. And she’s so lucky she has both of us that adore her so much and she has everything she could ever want. And I know I’m a good mom and I also know I’m good at my job. I know I’m a good friend. I know that these are things that mean something to me in my life. The proof is in her, the happiest, sunshiniest, funniest child to me ever.”

What’s your real take on Botox—and what did you learn the hard way?

“I don’t ever do my forehead because I’m so excited. I have to express with the forehead…I did my first Botox. I did my forehead and all this stuff and I was so excited, but it was like the same week, there was a scene where I had to really do this thing with my face…I’m not moving. Could not move. The fact that no one said anything…I couldn’t believe how bad it looked…I was like literally doing these jokes and nothing moved…that’s when I thought, whoa, like we don’t need the—let’s calm it down. Let’s rein it in. So I reined it in and now I don’t do my forehead.”

You started acting at five. What do you think parents should do if their kids want to act?

“I’ve been doing this since I was 5 years old…They told me I had to do other things. So I wasn’t just acting…It wasn’t the only thing I did, which I think any parents out there who have their kids as actors, I think the only thing I would say is like, don’t make it the only thing. The same way that a lot of kids have multiple things they want to do. Like we have to see what they even like, right? So this was one thing that I did…I never got too disheartened by this business. Like if you got a no…I never got disheartened. I was like, ‘Oh, ok, I’m gonna go,’ then I have this, you know, class I’m doing or whatever. I just had so many things I was doing.”

How do you stay mentally steady in such a competitive industry?

“I don’t get that disheartened that often…I really think that’s been my outlook on this. I mean, I’ve truly been doing this for 35 years. I started my first job when I was 5 years old. I’ve just gotten used to it. I understand the game. I understand and that’s why my outside life is so precious to me…I have horses and a rescue farm and all those things is what makes my life so fulfilled, and then being an actor is something I adore. By the way, I could never imagine myself doing anything else, but it’s not my whole. It’s not everything and it never has been.”

Why did producing change the way you see the job?

“Being able to start producing…producing a little bit and seeing that and seeing the efforts and seeing the behind the scenes, I mean, all the people that work so hard to make us look so good, it’s opened up my mind…I think I lived my whole life, you know, as actors, we come in, we do our job, then we leave, we get all the attention, the adoration or the opposite. It’s all on us for good or better or worse. There’s like 200 people that are actually doing it all, you know, and being able to start producing…and seeing that…it’s opened up my mind.”

To hear Kaley Cuoco’s full conversation, listen to Not Skinny But Not Fat wherever you get your podcasts.

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