Khloé Kardashian Takes Live Calls for Valentine’s Day and Every Story Is Worse Than the Last

Khloé Kardashian is basically running a Valentine’s Day hotline in this episode of Khloé in Wonder Land—except the messages are live calls and voicemails, and the stories are…unhinged. 

She opens up her live hotline, reacts in real time to listener dating fails, red flags, and awkward first-date chaos, and keeps circling back to one point: Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be about a romantic partner. It can be about your kids, your friends, your family, and the way you show yourself love too.

‘I was engaged for about 5 years…and then he cheated and asked me for money’

Caller/story: Ankara says her fiancé ended things after five years, she later learned he cheated, and now he’s asking her for money.

Khloé’s response: “What a f**king loser…Well, first of all, anyone that wouldn’t marry you after five years, that’s a big red flag. And so he did you a favor…and then the fact that he cheated on you. Bigger loser, bigger red flag, and then he’s asking you for money. That’s crazy. You sound too great and you deserve all the love in the world, and you’re going to make this Valentine’s Day about you and your girls or whoever you love, and you’re going to forget about this guy, because who needs him?”

‘He tattooed me…then I found out he got someone pregnant’

Caller/story: Natasha let a boyfriend-in-training tattoo artist tattoo her (a rose), then found out he got another girl pregnant—and now the tattoo feels like a reminder.

Khloé’s response: “I think when you’re ready to do that, laser it off. I’ve lasered some tattoos, and let me tell you, they definitely hurt…There are some places that will give you a little, I think it’s a lidocaine shot, and that actually is very helpful. I will say…I’m sorry you went through that and I’m sorry, men are just such losers sometimes…I hope you still have an amazing Valentine’s Day, because Valentine’s Day is not just about the partner in your life. It’s also about your family and how you can still love yourself.”

‘Is it a red flag if someone doesn’t want to claim you’

Caller/story: Dylan asks if it’s a red flag when someone keeps the relationship a “secret,” especially around certain friends, and how to handle it.

Khloé’s response: “So number one, yes, that is a major f**king red flag when people don’t want to claim you. I’m not saying you have to make me or anyone else public on social [media]. I feel like for some people they need that validation to feel like you’re a real couple. I don’t believe in that. Some relationships, I just don’t want to publicize it. That’s fine. Doesn’t mean it’s a secret, it means that we’re private. Being a secret is what you’re saying, like telling your certain close friend groups, you don’t really talk like that. That’s going to give you such insecurity and that’s a big red flag. There’s a reason they want to keep it a secret, and what is that reason? And it’s weird. Either way, I don’t get down like that. You shouldn’t get down like that, Dylan.”

‘He gave a Star Wars nickname to the barista…and asked for feedback on the date’

Caller/story: Taylor goes on a coffee date with a guy who doesn’t look like his photos. He tells the barista his name is a Star Wars character when placing the order, then later asks her for feedback on how the date went.

Khloé’s response: “Shut up. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope…I think that means that he’s gotten turned down a lot and he’s finally like, ‘Ok, what is it? Because it has to be me.’ Yeah, it is him.”

‘I spent our 1-year anniversary in jail…and found out he was cheating’

Caller/story: Hayley got arrested shoplifting a gift at 17, spent the anniversary in jail, then found out her boyfriend cheated—and she got revenge.

Khloé’s response: “Oh my God, legendary. Well, actually, besides you going to jail, you realized who your ride or dies are, which is your older sister. You realized the ones that will tell you the tea and tell you what really happened, and then the ones that weren’t meant to stay around. You actually learned a lot that Valentine’s Day.”

‘I regret every day that I lost the love of my life’

Caller/story: A voicemail caller begs people not to make relationship decisions while angry because she regrets losing the person she loved.

Khloé’s response: “What a sweetheart. I feel so bad for this woman. She is saying that she broke up with the love of her life, but she didn’t realize it then. And she thinks about him every day, and she’s just so heartbroken. And she’s just saying when people make decisions to leave someone, like don’t act out of emotion. Act if it’s really something you want to do. I feel so bad for her, poor thing.”

‘She scarfed down dinner super fast, then revealed she had a boyfriend’

Caller/story: Kim (or Cam) describes a date where the woman rushed through the entire meal—and then casually revealed she had a boyfriend who works at the restaurant they were at.

Khloé’s response: “When I was hearing your message and you said that she was scarfing down food, I was going to say she either double booked and had another date after you. I was not going to assume that her boyfriend worked there. I thought maybe that’s like a place that they ate at, but I could tell that she either had another date after you or had a boyfriend. Shady, shady, and I think you handled it perfectly well.”

‘I peed my pants on a first date…and now we’re getting married’

Caller/story: A caller tells a chaotic-but-cute story: a bathroom emergency on a Central Park date, panic moves, no underwear, and an upcoming wedding.

Khloé’s response: “Thank God you were wearing a dress. Could you imagine if you had like, pee stains all over your pants, that would be mortifying. I feel so bad you peed your pants. Like you must have really had to pee. That’s so embarrassing, so sad….What a story, but I love that you guys are engaged, you guys are going to be married. What a funny story that you get to tell your kids one day. I mean, it’s cute, it’s endearing. It’s very relatable, I feel so bad, but I love that you’re just laughing it off and so cute about it.

‘He got a tattoo of my face on his back after our 4th date’

Caller/story: Jessica Max says a guy tattooed her face on his back after only a few dates.

Khloé’s response: “That is a big red flag…I think if someone on your 3rd or 4th date is going out to get your face tattooed on them, it’s a little scary.”

To hear all of Khloé’s crazy caller stories, listen to Khloé in Wonder Land wherever you get your podcasts.

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