Khloé Kardashian Gets Real About Relationships and Why She Won’t Lower Her Standards: ‘I Just Can’t Have a Slob’

Let’s be honest, nobody needs another lecture on manifesting or self-love. What people actually want is honesty—and that’s exactly what Khloé Kardashian delivers on this Ask Me Anything episode of Khloé in Wonder Land.

The 41-year-old mom of two opens up about trusting yourself when it’s uncomfortable, leaving unhealthy relationships, co-parenting realities, and learning how to stay grounded without pretending life is perfect. It’s reflective without being preachy and relatable in the best way.

Below are the highlights, adapted from Khloé in Wonder Land.

Khloé Kardashian on Trusting Yourself and Relationships Therapy on AMA

Is there power in trusting the universe?

“There definitely is power in trusting the universe, but it’s so f*cking scary to do that. I think our brains are sort of wired to have this self-doubt. And with that, it’s really hard just to trust the timing of your life. It’s really hard to have faith in the universe. It’s hard to have faith in general, but you have to. So, yes, it’s okay. I think a little bit of worry or fear is good. That means you’re challenging yourself. You’re putting yourself in a position that’s new to you and new is scary. So that’s how you know you’re pushing yourself and that’s a good thing. But you have to trust yourself and have faith and confidence that you are that person. You are that girl, that guy. You have enough confidence in yourself and your abilities that you are going to get what you want out of this life because you wouldn’t have it any other way.”

How does your family decide when information is public versus private? For example, a new relationship. What decisions go into where and when to announce?

“I don’t know if there’s a real method to the madness. Like, none of us are really sitting and talking about, ‘oh, in three weeks we should talk about I’m dating this person.’ That doesn’t happen. I think you just know when you’re dating someone, if you’re just dating and you know this isn’t really going anywhere, you’re sort of just casually dating someone. But if you’re in a real relationship where you’re head over heels, then you might want to be more public with that person. I don’t think you can compare any of the relationships. Like, everyone just has to be an individual thought process, I guess, on to when you would want to go public with someone or not. I personally, from my past experiences, the longer you can keep something private, I think the better the chances are for that relationship. But also, you might be dating someone and be like, I’m just sleeping with this person. I’m not making this public at all. And you can sleep with them for like two years and you never want to make it public. So, you just have to know the energy of that relationship.”

Are you a type A or type B person? And would you want to date someone the same as you or the complete opposite?

“Definitely, I’m a type A and I cannot be with a type B. Just like go with the flow. No schedules. Like no, no, no, no, no. I need someone to match my energy. I need you clean. I need you to know how to take care of your home, be organized, do all that kind of stuff. Like clean up after yourself. I just can’t have a slob. That’s gross. And like you have to have purpose every day. I need you to get up, go somewhere, do something, work out. I don’t care what it is. Just you’re not going to be sleeping in all day laying in the bed slowing me down in life. Like I just need someone that matches my energy. I’m never going to get a date at this point.”

How do you find the courage to leave an unhealthy relationship?

“Well, sometimes it takes you a minute and that’s okay. And honestly, I feel for me at least, I’m the type of person that I have to genuinely know that I’ve given something my all. If I’m in love with someone, if I was in love with you, I have to know that I’ve given this my all. I’ve tried my hardest. I know I’ve given you chance after chance and it’s not working. So when I walk away, I never have to look back again. I never have to question, did I do the right thing? Are we sure he wasn’t going to change? Or whatever we fantasize about and tell ourselves for me at least. So I might be stuck in this stagnant, unhealthy place, but then there is—I always see what I’m supposed to do. I just want to make sure that I have exhausted all options and I’ve given this the best fight I can. But normally at your gut, you know, you have that woman’s intuition and you just know that, okay, this isn’t right. And maybe you’re just not ready to admit that to yourself. Sometimes your head knows things before your heart does and it takes a minute for your heart to catch up. And that’s okay. When you know, you know. When you’re fed up with something, you’re going to know. And you just have to go back to faith and believe that things will get better and probably so much better when you leave that toxic stuff behind.”

What motivated you to go to therapy?

“I think I was bullied into therapy and I did it just to get everyone to shut the f*ck up [because] it was everywhere I turned. Someone was like, ‘You got to go to therapy.’ And I will say I’m not opposed to therapy. I was opposed for so long because I always had really bad therapists and then Kim introduced me to her therapist and I actually loved her. She is great. We connected. I don’t know why, but I just like started telling her everything at the very beginning. And maybe because Kim was seeing her and I felt safe with that. I was like, ‘Okay, if you’re seeing Kim, I can be honest and tell you everything.’ And yes, you should be honest with your therapist, but I’ve been burned by so many people and I’ve had therapists sell stories to the press before and it’s been really horrible and toxic. So, I was so distrusting. I think the referral was really a big benefit for me, just knowing this is a safe space and finding the right therapist. I think a therapist can ruin you or completely transform you. So, you just be careful and make sure you find the right one.”

Any lessons in hindsight from being a single parent?

“I do wonder like, oh gosh, it would be so nice to have a second parent that’s there every single day. Like Tristan and I get along so well. He’s such a great dad. Like he’s great, but it’s not an everyday thing that he is with me and the kids. And I often am like, ‘God, wouldn’t that be nice for someone else to help me put the kids to bed every night or for someone to help me with school craze in the morning?’ Like now if I have an early work morning, like I’ll call Tristan and be like, ‘Can you take them to school today or whatever?’ But just having someone to rely on more often…

…I have so much help. I’m so blessed.

I’m so grateful for it. I think when someone says like a single parent, it’s in a very different boat than what I’m in. I have nothing to complain about and I’m so lucky for that. The only time I felt like damn, I’m a single parent, like this is hard was during the fires and we had to evacuate…my nannies have to evacuate their own homes. So, like I was alone. I had to find my two cats, get my kids situated, load up my cars with all of our stuff, and I’m running around like ‘I need help!’ That’s when I was like to have a second set of hands either grabbing a f*cking animal or watching the kids while I’m doing that. That would have been really helpful. And that’s really the only time that I wished I had someone else. The rest I was like, you know what? I live such a great life. I feel so blessed for everything that I have. And I have amazing kids. I have amazing people that help me with my kids all the time. So, I don’t have a lot. I don’t feel like a single mom. I feel really supported and I have such a big family. Oh, and my mom was out of town. I had to unload her house into this U-Haul. That was a great experience.”

You seem so at peace with your life. What do you do to stay grounded?

“That’s because I’m not dating anyone…I am very at peace in my life. I feel like I’m in such a great peaceful place and I don’t want to lose this. And I really don’t think I will. I hope I can see red flags. I feel like I’m not color blind anymore and like I got this. And I’m also so much better at saying no these days where before, I am such a people pleaser. And with jobs too, I was always just saying yes to things that weren’t fulfilling for me. I would just do it [because] I felt guilty. And I’m like, f*ck no, if I don’t want to do it, I don’t. And people know my priorities with my family. My family really makes me happy and reinvigorates me and I feel really good. And then how do I stay so grounded? I mean, I just don’t believe the hype about myself. I’m not someone that gets Google alerts…like it’s Google alert about me like I know what I’m doing. I don’t need to see that. So I think I just don’t listen to the outside noise like that and I’ve had the same group of friends for decades. I think that’s also very grounding.”

How do you stay positive on hard days?

“Well, you need to allow yourself to have a hard day…I have moments that I feel sorry for myself or just sad for no reason. And I get those melancholy moments. I feel like that’s normal and natural, but I don’t stay in a dark place. I don’t let myself have that woe is me situation all the time. I’m like, ‘Okay, you went through the motions. Go through your sh*t, have your sad day.’ Sure. Then the next day I’m like, ‘Snap out of it. No one cares. Everyone’s having a tough life. Grow up.’ And then I try to reflect on all the greatness. And I’m like, ‘You’re right. Okay. I got this.’ So, you have to let yourself feel.”

Want to hear the full conversation? Tune into Khloé in Wonder Land, streaming now wherever you get your podcasts.

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