Health & Wellness

4 Manifesting Mistakes That Are Keeping You Stuck, According to ‘Dear Gabby’

December 5, 2025

If you’ve ever tried to manifest like it’s your part-time job and still felt…wildly stuck, welcome to the club. You’re journaling, you’re visualizing, you’re doing the whole “I’m open to receiving” thing—and yet your life looks exactly the same. At some point it stops feeling mystical and starts feeling like tracking a package that’s been “out for delivery” for three weeks.

On Dear Gabby, host Gabby Bernstein calls out four mistakes that can keep your manifestations buffering like bad WiFi. Whether you’re deep in your “Universe, send me a sign” era or just trying to get your energy together without losing your mind, these insights are your cheat code.

4 Manifesting Mistakes That Are Keeping You Stuck

1. You’re in ‘manic manifesting’ mode

There’s wanting something…and then there’s chasing it like the Universe owes you overtime. If your spiritual routine feels more like a to-do list than an energetic shift, you might be in what Bernstein calls “manic manifesting.”

As she puts it, “These are the folks who are doing all the things…but you’re actually in the way of the allowing.” It’s not the rituals themselves, but the grip behind them. When you’re hyperfocused on the how and when, your energy tightens. And instead of feeling open, you start micromanaging the entire process like a cosmic project manager.

Psychologists actually have a name for this: illusion of control. The more we try to force an outcome, the more anxious and blocked we feel. And nothing hits the brakes on momentum faster than frantic energy.

Bernstein’s solution is annoyingly simple but weirdly effective: stop forcing it. “Surrender doesn’t mean that you’re giving up,” she says. “It actually means that you’re giving over, that you’re getting out of the way of your dreams. It’s a conscious decision to sort of let go of that timeline, stop focusing on the plan and the when and the how, and actually just get into the wonder—the wonder of the Universe.”

2. You’re obsessed with the form, not the feeling

If your manifestation list reads like a hyper-specific shopping cart, you’re not manifesting. You’re ordering from a menu the Universe never agreed to cook from. Bernstein uses a perfect metaphor for this: most of us are staring at the frame instead of the actual picture. The “frame” is the form—the exact job, the exact number, the exact person. The picture is the feeling you’re actually chasing.

And honestly? She’s right. Research on goal-setting shows that when we fixate on a single, rigid outcome, we close ourselves off to alternative paths that could get us where we want to feel faster. “So the idea is to get clear about how we wanna feel,” Bernstein says. Abundant. Safe. Free. Loved. Supported. Whatever your core vibe is, that is the real target. Because when you focus on the feeling, you become a match for any version of that experience—not just the one you scripted in your Notes app at 1 a.m.

And wild things happen when you stop white-knuckling the vision. As Bernstein explains, “Often this happens in ways…you couldn’t ever have planned.” That’s the whole point. You’re not manifesting for the aesthetics, but for the emotional reality. So instead of writing “I want X,” try “I want to feel Y.” Then let the Universe show off a little.

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3. You’re using affirmations to wallpaper over real feelings

We’ve all tried to manifest our dream life with a confident “I’m thriving,” while internally feeling like a cracked iPhone battery. That disconnect? That’s spiritual bypassing. “It’s when you try to slap a positive affirmation on top of a deep-seated wound and a fear that you need to address, or you’re saying things like, ‘I’m abundant,’ when underneath it, there’s a part of you that feels so unworthy of abundance,” Bernstein explains. “Your energy doesn’t lie.”

Your nervous system knows when you’re lying to yourself. Which is why affirmations fall flat when the inner work hasn’t been touched. “We can’t slap a spiritual practice on top of a feeling of unworthiness because that feeling of unworthiness is gonna be way stronger than any affirmation,” she adds.

The fix isn’t pretending harder. It’s slowing down enough to actually tend to the real emotions underneath—fear, shame, unworthiness, insecurity. None of that blocks manifesting. Ignoring it does. “Two things can be true,” Bernstein says. “You can be tending to deep feelings that have been with you for a long time and be in a high vibrational state attracting what you desire.”

Think of it as emotional multitasking. You can heal and receive at the same time. The goal isn’t to be perfectly positive, but to be honest. Your manifestations respond to what you feel, not what you force.

4. You’re waiting to ‘see it’ before you believe it

Here’s the trap almost everyone falls into: you want proof before you commit. A sign, a green light, some kind of cosmic receipt that what you’re calling in is actually on its way. Totally human…but spiritually? It backfires.

“You’re waiting for the evidence before you have the faith,” Bernstein says. “And you have that quite backward.” Manifesting isn’t Amazon Prime—you can’t track your desire like a package. You have to feel the thing before it exists. You have to show up as the version of you who already has it, even if your current circumstances look nothing like the vision.

“Feeling the feeling and assuming that energy and really recognizing that the feeling shifting is when the circumstances start to shift,” Bernstein explains. “So be the source of energy that you want to attract.” When you act from the energy you want—supported, abundant, loved, chosen—you stop reaching and start receiving. You’re not waiting for the Universe to convince you you’re worthy…you’re deciding you’re worthy first.

That’s the assignment: lead with belief, not evidence. Embody the energy, even if it feels slightly delulu at first. The Universe moves faster when you stop waiting for signs and start becoming the version of you who doesn’t need them.

For more insights, tune into Dear Gabby wherever you get your podcasts.