The Lessons Margot Lee Learned from Long Distance and Letting Go on ‘Note to Self’

When it comes to love, few things test relationships quite like distance. You can be deeply connected, wildly supportive, and fully invested, yet still face the reality that love alone isn’t always enough. That’s precisely the kind of honesty YouTube creator and entrepreneur Margot Lee brings to her conversation with Payton Sartain on Note to Self.

Lee, who first gained recognition as one of YouTube’s early lifestyle vloggers, has lived much of her life online. Her audience has watched her grow from a teenager documenting everyday routines to an entrepreneur building her own brand. But on this episode, she goes deeper—sharing what it was really like to move abroad for a five-and-a-half-year relationship, what she learned when things ended, and how alignment matters as much as love.

Why she moved abroad for love

Lee doesn’t look back on her long-term relationship with regret. She calls her ex “an incredible person” and explains that moving abroad was a decision made out of both love and curiosity. “I’ve always wanted to try living abroad, and I love London,” she shares. Beyond being closer to her partner, she wanted the chance to explore a city she adored and see what life outside New York might feel like.

Still, it wasn’t an easy decision. She admits that leaving New York meant walking away from a life she loved. “I wasn’t quite ready to say goodbye,” Lee says. But she also knew that if she didn’t give the relationship a real chance, she’d always wonder what might have been.

Alignment matters in relationships

Love doesn’t erase differences in lifestyle or goals. Lee’s partner’s life was rooted in Bristol, while hers revolved around New York. “It was not a life that I was super excited about for this period in my life,” she explains. As much as they cared for each other, their visions for the future didn’t match.

Lee describes the breakup as loving and respectful. “We had such good communication and we love each other so much,” she says. “So why are we breaking up? Because we’re great together. But at least for now, it was just looking like our lives were headed in different directions.”

It’s a reminder that alignment—where you live, how you spend your time, and what you want for the future—matters as much as chemistry when it comes to building lasting relationships.

How to move for someone without losing yourself

Lee’s reflections also shine a light on something many women quietly wrestle with: how to support a partner without sacrificing their own independence. She believes it’s noble to take a risk for love, but only if there’s something in it for you too. “If you’re going to pick up your life and try something new, there needs to be something that you’re genuinely excited about,” she says.

That approach helped her avoid resentment. She didn’t move abroad solely for him—she also did it for herself, to satisfy a lifelong dream of living overseas. “If there’s not, then it leads to resentment,” she explains. That simple truth feels relevant to anyone weighing big decisions for a relationship—love should be part of the reason, not the whole reason.

Finding strength in letting go

Perhaps the most challenging part of Lee’s story is that nothing “went wrong.” There was no betrayal, no explosive fight, no moment that forced her hand. Instead, she and her partner chose to separate, even though they still cared deeply for each other.

That, she admits, was one of the most difficult realities to face. “It made it really hard because we have such good communication and we’re so excited about each other’s lives,” she says. “So why are we breaking up?” The answer came down to self-honesty—she didn’t want to build a future based on the assumption that things would magically align later.

By letting go, Lee freed both herself and her ex to live authentically. He deserves someone excited about the slower pace of life in Bristol, and she deserves to keep building a career and lifestyle in the city that fuels her. Sometimes, letting go is the clearest form of love.

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