On “The Art of Being Well,” Dr. Will Cole Debunks the 21-Day Habit Myth and More Mental Health Trends

If your feed keeps promising a “new you” in three weeks, The Art of Being Well delves into mental health myths like these, and more, and explores why quick fixes rarely last. Functional medicine practitioner Dr. Will Cole sits down with cognitive neuroscientist Dr. Caroline Leaf, author of Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess, to unpack what real change looks like—minus the gimmicks and the guilt.

The tone is warm, innovative, and refreshingly practical. Instead of scaring you into a new routine, the conversation shows how the mind and body work together, and why consistency—not pressure—moves the needle. Leaf’s research-backed approach makes it feel doable, even on chaotic days.

Most importantly, the episode reframes progress with a timeline that respects your biology. As Leaf puts it, “It’s at least 63 days, not 21 days.” That one sentence alone clears up a lot of confusion—and a lot of shame.

Why mental health myths still trip people up

The biggest offender is the myth that it takes 21 days to form a habit, which according to Leaf was popularized in the 1960s “with a plastic surgeon who then got into self-help.” In other words, a wound-healing timeline bled into self-help culture and calcified into a rule that doesn’t match how the mind stabilizes change.

So what does the actual curve of change look like according to real neuroplasticity research? Leaf says the data shows that “somewhere between 59 and 63 days, there’s a major pivotal point where people manifest the change.” Before that point, progress tends to be wobbly, which is normal brain function, not personal failure. Knowing there’s a stabilization window helps reset expectations: You’re training a system, not sprinting toward a finish line.

Language can be another minefield. Leaf encourages precision around trauma, so the plan matches the problem. She calls out “the real trauma, not the concept creep where everyone just says, oh, I didn’t get that parking and now I’m traumatized.” That clarity protects both compassion and solutions.

How to start overcoming mental health myths in real life

If meaningful change takes around 63 days, what gets you through today? Leaf offers a one-minute anchor that works in messy, modern life: “You can actually direct the next 63 seconds.” That tiny window is enough to slow a stress surge, choose a different response, and stack small wins. She ties it back to the bigger arc, noting that those quick resets become the scaffolding for the longer cycles of growth.

This is where the episode’s approach feels especially compassionate. It provides you with immediate tools for challenging moments while acknowledging that more profound healing may take time to occur. That blend—relief now, rewiring over time—keeps motivation alive when “just push through” advice would normally burn it out. It’s a sustainable path forward that doesn’t depend on perfection.

Mind vs. brain: why this distinction changes everything

Typical wellness chatter treats the brain like a computer that can be reprogrammed with the right hack. Leaf turns that idea on its head by emphasizing the primacy of mind. “Your brain can’t do anything without the mind. The mind makes the brain work,” she says. She describes the mind as the active force that drives physiology and psychology, the thing that perceives, chooses, and directs the body’s responses. That perspective places you back in the driver’s seat—not to white-knuckle your feelings, but to guide them with practice.

Seen through that lens, mental health myths lose their power. You’re not a broken machine missing the right setting. You’re a person with an adaptable system that responds to attention, repetition, and grace.

Myths promise speed. Real healing delivers stability. When the noise gets loud, return to the basics: name the real issue, respect the timeline, and let the mind lead. Do that, and the most stubborn mental health myths stop running the show.

Read Next

• The Surprising Way That Gabby Bernstein Conquered Anxiety
• Can’t Lose Weight? You May Need to Lose the Stress
• Greg Grippo: From ‘Bachelor’ Star to Mental Health Advocate