Nate Berkus Shares the Tiny Ritual That Keeps His Marriage Strong

Some love stories are built on big moments, grand gestures, and sweeping declarations. Others are constructed quietly, almost invisibly, through the tiny rituals that anchor two people to each other every day. On We Met At Acme, host Lindsey Metselaar sits down with designer Nate Berkus, who shares how one small act—something so simple it feels almost unremarkable—has shaped thirteen years of partnership, parenting, and day-to-day life with his husband, Jeremiah Brent.

Their chat is a reminder that love doesn’t have to be dramatic to be meaningful.

Berkus’ marriage started with one daily ritual

When Metselaar asks Berkus what keeps his connection with Brent strong, he goes straight to the morning routine that has quietly defined their relationship for more than a decade. “Since I met Jeremiah, my husband, 13 years ago, every morning that we’re together, there’s hot coffee on my nightstand,” he says. “That’s it. You know what I mean? You don’t really need anything after that. It’s everything. It’s like, here, have a great day.”

It’s the kind of gesture that sounds small until you really think about it. Thirteen years of choosing each other before the day even starts. Thirteen years of showing up in a way that feels grounding and gentle, not showy. In a relationship where both people work, travel, and raise children, that consistency matters.

How a mutual friend and a daytime date helped them find each other

Berkus also shares the story of how he and Brent first crossed paths, thanks to their mutual friend, the iconic fashionista Rachel Zoe. “He worked for Rachel Zoe,” he explains. “He was on her show, and she said to me—she called me—and she was like, ‘Oh my God, we just hired this guy. He’s so cute. We call him Baby Nate in the office.’ She’s like, ‘And I know that you would love him. Like, I actually think you would really love him.’”

It took years, a birthday party, and a casual exchange of information before anything romantic happened. But when the moment finally came, it was surprisingly unglamorous—in the best possible way. “Two years after that, we were both single,” he remembers. “And he was in New York because he lived in LA, and he reached out and we went on a date in the daytime, and we’re still together. I love that.”

Their long-distance relationship worked because they removed the drama

When Metselaar asks how they managed the early years of long distance, Berkus gives an answer that feels refreshingly simple. “We made it work because there was no game. At all. We knew when we were going to see each other, and while we were together, we knew the next time we were going to see each other,” he says.

In a dating culture full of mixed signals, their approach feels almost radical—clarity, transparency, and intentionality from the very beginning. This emphasis on clear communication and mutual understanding has been a cornerstone of their relationship, guiding them through the ups and downs of long-distance and beyond.

Their values keep evolving, but fidelity stays at the center

The conversation also touches on the couple’s commitment to fidelity, something Berkus explains clearly and without judgment toward others. “You know, among our friends, we’re rare in that we don’t have an open relationship,” Berkus says. “It’s just something that we discussed very early on. And he’s all I need, and I’m all he needs. I’m jealous. So that wouldn’t work at all.” And when it comes to parenting? Brent’s got that in the bag. “I definitely fell more in love with him. Watching him as a parent,” Berkus says.

Relationships evolve. People change. And sometimes, seeing your partner take on a new role makes you appreciate them more deeply.

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