Health & Wellness

Chaotic Life? Here’s Why Waiting for Things to Settle Down Isn’t the Answer

June 7, 2026

How Payton Sartain Stays Grounded During Uncertain Times — Image: Mathilde Lagarrigue

Most of us think stability is something we eventually arrive at. Maybe once the job settles down we’ll have it together, or once the move is over. Once life finally stops throwing curveballs. But what happens when none of that happens?

On a recent episode of Note to Self, host Payton Sartain talks about an unpredictable season of life. Between constant travel, her husband’s baseball career, moving between cities, starting graduate school, and living out of suitcases, she found herself confronting something deeper than a busy schedule. “I need to learn how to live in this chaos comfortably because I was not doing so well there for, for a moment,” she says.

The realization came from accepting that stability wasn’t waiting for her somewhere on the other side of uncertainty. Life was happening now.

And if you’ve been telling yourself you’ll feel better once things calm down, this conversation is definitely for you.

How Payton Sartain Stays Grounded During Uncertain Times

The need for control can become its own kind of stress

Sartain has always been someone who finds comfort in structure. She’s a planner and a self-described control freak when it comes to her own life. For a long time, that approach helped her stay focused, but life eventually caught up.

“I do have a control problem when it comes to myself,” she says, which is something a lot of people can relate to. Control often feels productive; it can even feel responsible. But when every unexpected change starts feeling like a personal failure, that need for control becomes exhausting.

That’s what made this season so uncomfortable. She had to learn how to trust herself when she couldn’t.

Stop treating this chapter like a placeholder

Sartain eventually realized she was treating this season of life like something to get through instead of something to actually live. “I feel like I’m just like, I’m never going to be 32 again,” she says.

That thought forced her to look at things differently. Instead of counting down the days until life felt stable again, she started asking what this chapter could teach her right now. And it’s an easy trap to fall into. So many of us postpone our happiness until after the move, after the breakup, after the career change, after life finally settles down. But those in-between seasons are still very much a part of your story.

Small rituals matter more than perfect routines

Sartain isn’t interested in a 20-step morning routine packed with habits she doesn’t actually enjoy. In fact, she admits that overly complicated routines can start to feel like another item on the to-do list.

Instead, she found comfort in a handful of simple rituals she could stick to no matter where she was. Her daily anchors included:

Drinking water and taking her supplements
A quick skincare routine
Walking her dog, Winnie
Grabbing a coffee
Listening to a podcast while getting ready

“So simple, so easy,” she says.

The small routine helped give her a sense of normalcy without creating more pressure.

Stability comes from what you carry with you

Stability isn’t always something you find. Sometimes it’s something you create.

When so much of Sartain’s life felt outside her control, she stopped looking for certainty in her surroundings and started focusing on the things she could bring with her wherever she went—her routines, her responsibilities, her relationship with herself, and her perspective.

“This is life. This is what life is: learning through these moments,” she notes. It’s a simple idea, but an important one. Life isn’t divided into stable seasons and unstable seasons. There will always be unexpected changes and moments that force you to adapt.

Because when your stability comes from who you are—not where you are—everything feels a little less uncertain.

To hear the full conversation, listen to Note to Self wherever you get your podcasts.