On ‘Give It To Me Straight’ the Hosts Answer: Am I Wrong to Want My Pregnant Wife to Help Around the House?

Pregnancy gets a lot of labels—“glowing,” “beautiful,” “miraculous.” But one word that keeps creeping in? Lazy. And here’s the thing: it’s not just wrong, it’s wildly out of touch. 

Fatigue is one of the most common pregnancy symptoms, hitting especially hard in the first and third trimesters. By the time the home stretch rolls around, most women are literally carrying the weight of a bowling ball on their bladder. So no, skipping laundry or leaving dishes in the sink isn’t laziness. It’s biology.

On Give It to Me Straight, hosts Alex Madison and Jon Bouffard get real about this very misconception. With Madison just weeks away from delivery, they serve up hard truths about pregnancy bandwidth, why “keeping score” only breeds resentment, and what real support from a partner actually looks like.

What does ‘lazy’ really look like in late pregnancy?

Lazy gets thrown around when someone spends a Saturday horizontal, needs a nap in the middle of the day, or takes forever to get moving. In late pregnancy, all of that shows up, but it’s not laziness, it’s survival mode. The third trimester brings a perfect storm of symptoms: shortness of breath, swelling, pelvic pressure, back pain, and even restless legs at night. Harvard Health notes that sleep disruption is practically universal by this stage, leaving most people exhausted before they even get out of bed.

So if “lazy” looks like lying down after walking up the stairs, skipping workouts you used to crush, or defaulting to Uber Eats instead of cooking, that’s just a realistic response to what the body’s going through. “If you were even pregnant for one month, you would jump off of a bridge,” Madison tells Bouffard. The point isn’t that she literally would, but that the discomfort and 24/7 brain drain are so heavy they can break even the most motivated person. 

Why does keeping score backfire? 

Scorekeeping is that mental tally of who did what around the house. It usually sounds like, “I folded laundry, so you should take out the trash,” or, “I’ve been doing the dishes all week, so now it’s your turn.” In theory, it feels fair. In practice, it usually turns into resentment. Instead of feeling like a team, couples slip into accountant mode, tracking every little chore like it’s an invoice.

A listener explains his pregnant wife stopped doing “the most simple tasks,” and he felt frustrated enough to ask if he was “an a**hole” for expecting her to keep up. “I’m not going to say you’re an a**hole, but these are inside thoughts that you should just keep to yourself and not f***ing say anything,” Bouffard says. “It’s nine months, suck it up.” His point? Counting dishes and towels misses the bigger reality of pregnancy, which is that one partner is carrying the entire physical and emotional weight of growing a human.

Research backs this up. Studies show that when partners provide consistent support during pregnancy, the risk of depression and anxiety drops significantly. On the flip side, when support is low, stress levels climb and relationships suffer. The problem isn’t just the chores themselves, it’s the invisible mental load. Pregnant women often shoulder the planning, worrying, and scheduling on top of the physical exhaustion. Experts call this “cognitive labor,” and it has a stronger link to burnout than physical tasks do.

Bouffard even admits that part of the challenge is not fully understanding what his wife is experiencing. “It’s just like we as men don’t know what the woman is going through with the pregnancy. I have no idea. You could tell me how you’re feeling, but I don’t know,” he says. That’s where communication comes in. Dropping the scorecard and asking, “What would actually make this easier for you?” builds trust instead of tension.

What does real support look like?

It is not about racking up points for walking the dog or remembering to grab the Amazon package off the porch. Real support is about stepping into the role of teammate, advocate, and sometimes even spokesperson when your partner doesn’t have the energy or clarity to fight for herself.

“Well, you have to advocate for me, too, John,” Madison tells Bouffard. “Like if sh*t’s going down and I’m drugged up, you know, you got to be there.” She’s talking about labor, but the bigger point stretches across the entire third trimester. Support can mean stepping in during a doctor’s visit when your partner forgets a question, or making sure visitors respect her boundaries after the baby arrives.

It can also mean anticipating daily needs without being asked. Keep water bottles filled and snacks stashed in the car, but also notice the little things that make her day easier. Double-check that the hospital bag is ready, charge her phone when she forgets, refill the gas tank so she doesn’t have to, and toss a heating pad in the bed before she climbs in. If she’s struggling to sleep, adjust the room—turn down the thermostat, pile on extra pillows, or handle the late-night pet walk so she can actually rest. These aren’t grand gestures, but they chip away at the daily friction that can make the third trimester feel impossible.

Catch the rest of the conversation on Give It to Me Straight, streaming now on all major podcast platforms.

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