‘Pretty Basic’ Breaks Down the Psychology of Unsolicited Dick Pics With the Orgasm Lab

On Pretty Basic, cohosts Remi Cruz Parsons and Alisha Marie tackle one of the strangest parts of modern dating: unsolicited dick pics. Joined by Dr. Corey Peterson and Amanda Champion from the Orgasm Lab, the conversation jumps between laugh-out-loud moments and serious science about what drives this behavior in the first place.

Remi and Alisha lean into their usual humor, cracking jokes about random DMs and awkward encounters. At the same time, Peterson and Champion ground the chat in years of research. It’s a mix of honesty and evidence that gets to the heart of a question women have been asking for years: what exactly makes a guy think a photo like that will spark attraction?

By the end, the Orgasm Lab makes one thing clear: The psychology behind dick pics says more about miscommunication than desire.

Why Men Send Dick Pics: ‘Pretty Basic’ Explores the Psychology

Why do men send unsolicited dick pics?

Alisha sets the tone right away. “I literally got one like a week ago,” she admits, adding that she couldn’t wait to ask the Orgasm Lab about it, before asking, “Is that sexual harassment to send someone an unsolicited dick pic?” Peterson explains that the law is moving in that direction, drawing a comparison to public exhibitionism.

She also recalls that in their 2019 study, “slightly more than half reported that they had sent an unsolicited dick pic,” with the top reason coming down to what she calls “partner hunting.” Many men see it as a bizarre form of flirting—”like a peacock with its feathers,” Peterson explains.

Other motivations include hoping to receive a nude in return (what the researchers call the “transactional mindset”) and seeking validation about size or attractiveness.

The gap between intention and impact

The team’s follow-up study with Manscaped revealed a decrease in the number of men sending these photos, from 51 percent in 2016 to 25 percent today. Still, the disconnect between senders and recipients remains unchanged.

“The most strongly endorsed hoped-for reactions were positive,” Peterson explains, noting that many men wanted their partners to feel “sexy” or “valued.” But when the researchers asked recipients of the unsolicited dick pics how they actually felt, the answers were blunt: “devalued or violated or unattractive,” with “disgusted” near the top.

Champion emphasizes that this mismatch drives the entire problem—men think they’re creating intimacy, but recipients almost always experience the opposite.

What actually lands better

If unsolicited nudes aren’t working, what does? Champion breaks down their findings. “We gave them a list of 11 potential body parts and said, rank order these,” she says. The winner wasn’t a six-pack or biceps—it was the face. “The face and features of the face, like the eyes and the mouth, were nine times more likely to generate a positive response than the genitals,” she notes.

Peterson puts it more directly: “If you’re going to send anything unsolicited, start with the face and a smile.”

Context matters

Champion points out that sexting itself is “very normative in relationships and it’s healthy…it helps relationships maintain that element of spiciness.” The real issue is when those habits spill into spaces where there’s no consent.

Peterson draws the line clearly: “We’re not saying that sending dick pics is wrong. We’re not saying that sending dick pics is bad. But there’s a place, there’s a time, there’s a context under which it is appropriate. And if you’re not in that place, time, and context, then you need to get consent.”

For anyone wondering why this behavior persists, the answer is now more straightforward: It’s not because it works, it’s because of a fundamental miscommunication about what creates attraction.

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