Kids Are Turning to AI for Advice—’Raising Good Humans’ Shares What Parents Should Watch For

Handing a kid a phone feels like handing them the keys to a world of unknown, and on Raising Good Humans, Dr. Aliza Pressman gets brutally honest about that reality with Aura founder Hari Ravichandran. The online safety expert and father points out that teens are online in ways we may not even be aware of, and shares some steps you can take to protect them from potential harm.

The device habits that signal a kid is struggling

Ravichandran says one of the most revealing parts of a teen’s digital life isn’t what they say, but how they behave on their devices. He explains that many kids “wake up and the first thing in the morning [and] open their phone.” He compares that instant pull to addiction: “It feels like with a lot of kids that have phones, it’s almost akin to cigarette smoking.”

When those habits intensify, it’s often a sign something deeper is going on. Kids might start searching for distressing topics, engaging with influencers tied to their worries, or staying up late scrolling—a pattern Ravichandran’s team at Aura watches closely because sleep disruption is one of the earliest red flags. 

Why AI chatbots are becoming emotional outlets for kids

One of the biggest surprises Ravichandran has seen is how quickly AI chatbots have become a place where kids unload the things they might not feel safe saying out loud. He shares that “kids are starting to use AI chatbots in ways that I don’t think we sort of anticipated.” He notes how some are having hypersexual conversations with bots, while others are using them to sort through fear, sadness, or complicated feelings they aren’t sharing with parents or friends.

The volume of these interactions is the real eye-opener. Ravichandran says kids are “spending 10 times more message, length or message content with the AI chatbots than they do with their actual friends,” which means the bot—not their social circle—is becoming their primary sounding board. And because these chats are private, parents often have no clue their child is using a bot to cope.

How to set tech boundaries without sneaking or spying

Both Dr. Pressman and Ravichandran are adamant about one thing—secret monitoring backfires. “I don’t think sneaky parental controls [are] very useful because it undermines the relationship,” Pressman says. Ravichandran agrees that transparency is the only path that actually works. His own rule with his teens is that “they have to be part of the journey,” because the goal isn’t catching them—it’s keeping them safe.

That starts before the phone ever shows up. Ravichandran wishes he’d made his daughters sign a contract upfront, laying out exactly what’s installed, what’s monitored, and why. “I’m not gonna let you go or drive a car if I don’t know that you’re gonna wear a seatbelt…the phone is like that,” he says. Kids don’t have to love it, but they do need to understand the guardrails from day one.

The ground rules that make phones safer from day one

If you’re gearing up to hand over a first phone, Ravichandran advises delaying it as long as you can. “If you can wait till your kids are 15 or 16,” he says, you’ll skip a lot of the developmental pressure that comes with early smartphone use. But if waiting isn’t realistic—because social dynamics are real—your next best tool is setting clear expectations before the device is even unboxed.

That means establishing non-negotiables like no phones in bedrooms and no phones at mealtimes. These little guardrails protect sleep, attention, and the quality of real-life relationships—three things most teens won’t self-regulate on their own. When the expectations are established early, it gives phones a chance to stop feeling like a battleground and start functioning like the tool they’re supposed to be.

To get more insights on children, phones, and protecting them against AI, listen to Raising Good Humans, wherever you listen to your podcasts.

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