From Ultimatums to Overbearing Mothers-in-Law, ‘Pretty Basic’ Tackles the Hardest Relationship Issues

Navigating relationships is rarely simple, and some of the toughest challenges come when love starts to feel like control or when family members overstep their boundaries. On a bonus episode of Pretty Basic, hosts Remi Cruz and Alisha Marie tackle some of the trickiest listener dilemmas. From boyfriends issuing ultimatums to mother-in-laws inviting strangers to intimate weddings, the YouTubers didn’t sugarcoat their advice.

The pair admit that many of these scenarios strike a chord because they’ve either lived them or seen friends go through the same challenges. “So many of these things I’m currently struggling with as well, so I don’t have a lot to add—but Alisha gave amazing advice,” Remi admits. Alisha chimes in with her own reminder: “The bottom line of all of these is you’re not alone. I promise, if we feel it, then a lot of other people feel it as well.”

No ultimatums

One listener wrote in about her boyfriend demanding that she quit drinking completely or he would end the relationship. Though she’d never had issues with alcohol, she agreed at first but admitted she was growing resentful.

“He’s not your person. I’m so sorry. If a man is ever trying to dictate anything—whether it’s what you wear, what you put in your body—they’re not your person. That is so manipulative,” Alisha responds bluntly. Remi adds that any relationship built on ultimatums is unsustainable, saying, “You’re already growing resentment towards him and understandably so. I don’t think there should ever be an ultimatum in a healthy relationship.”

Set those boundaries

Another email came from a listener whose soon-to-be mother-in-law had been a source of conflict since the beginning of her relationship. From mistakenly calling her by the fiancé’s ex’s name to posting baby photos on social media against her wishes, the boundary-crossing had gone on for years. The tension escalated even further when the mother-in-law began inviting people to the couple’s intimate courthouse wedding and family dinner—guests the bride and groom never agreed to include.

For Remi, this was a textbook case of why boundaries matter. “If you do not start setting boundaries, it’s only gonna continue or get worse,” she warns, noting that hinting or avoiding the issue won’t solve the problem. Alisha agrees, but emphasizes that the responsibility shouldn’t fall on the bride alone. “This is your husband’s job to handle. He needs to be the one speaking and making sure his mom understands. You don’t want her blaming you for everything.”

Your partner should put you first

The issue with overbearing in-laws isn’t just about one uncomfortable incident—it’s about the foundation of a marriage. A new chapter requires clarity on where loyalties stand. “You’re starting a new marriage, and boundaries need to be set now,” Alisha explains. “Your husband has to protect you and put you first—it’s about making it clear you’re his person.”

Remi echoes that sentiment, reminding listeners that the longer couples avoid direct conversations, the more complicated family dynamics can become. Letting a parent dictate the terms of a wedding or ignore rules around privacy only sets the stage for future conflicts. By stepping up early, a partner can prevent their spouse from being unfairly positioned as the “bad guy” while still respecting family ties.

At the end of the day, both hosts agree the role of a spouse isn’t just to love but also to shield—making sure their partner feels supported, valued, and prioritized in every situation.

Read More

• On ‘Give It To Me Straight,’ Jon & Alex Explore Whether Couples Should Have a Joint Bank Account
• NSBNF’s Amanda Hirsch on Why Being Delulu Actually Works (If You Do It Right)
• On ‘Raising Good Humans’: The Mental Health Toolkit Every Parent Should Give Their Child Before College