On ‘The Dating Detectives’: What Happens When Your Parent Falls for a Romance Scammer?

We often view our parents as pillars of strength—the ones who raised us, guided us, and always had things under control. But when scammers infiltrate their lives, this perception can shatter completely. In the latest episode of Dating Detectives, hosted by Hanna Anderson and Mollie Biskar (who’s stepping in while cohost Mackenzie Fultz is away), listeners hear a poignant narrative of a parent’s entanglement with a manipulative partner. This story serves as a stark reminder that even the most seemingly resilient people can fall victim to scams.

The episode features Christy, a caller from Sydney, Australia, who shares what happened when her dad, once the rock of the family, fell for a woman the hosts describe as a “mastermind.” What began as a seemingly normal romance quickly spiraled into financial dependence, lies, and strained relationships with his daughters. As Anderson notes, “That’s becoming more and more common. These stories are great for how to deal with this if our parents get involved in something like this, because they might not be as savvy or know that these scams can happen.”

Here’s how your parents—and you—can stay safe from and alert to potential romance scams and elder fraud.

What exactly are scammers looking for?

Scammers rarely appear out of thin air. They look for cracks in someone’s life—moments of grief, loneliness, or vulnerability—and wedge themselves in. For Christy’s dad, that crack came after the sudden death of a cousin, an event that destabilized the entire family. “Everything was perfect until it wasn’t. And then, yeah, things just went a bit pear-shaped,” Christy recalls.

After her parents separated, her dad was left alone, fragile, and searching for purpose. Enter Rose, a woman with a dramatic backstory, financial troubles, and a knack for shifting responsibility onto others. One of her tales involved allegedly falling out of a plane while working as a cleaner. Christy says she immediately doubted the story, but her father seemed hooked. What mattered wasn’t whether the details were accurate, but that Rose positioned herself as someone who needed rescuing—and her dad wanted to be the one to do it. As Christy explains, “I think he sort of felt like he was the white knight coming in and rescuing her.”

Warning signs your parent may be vulnerable to elder fraud

Scammers don’t just ask for money. They slowly rearrange the family dynamic. Rose began taking over Christy’s father’s time and energy while refusing to share the household load. “He cooked, he cleaned, he washed, he ironed, he worked full time. And we were a little bit like, what? He was doing everything,” Christy says.

That’s a red flag many adult children might recognize: when a parent suddenly seems drained, constantly providing for someone new, or making excuses for behavior they once would have never tolerated. Another warning sign is isolation—like when Rose moved Christy’s dad an hour away, cutting him off from his support system. And perhaps the most significant indicator of all? Money. Rose was behind on her rent, and soon, Christy’s dad was paying all the bills.

For Biskar, the lesson is about awareness. “Take notes on what to look out for. Even if you haven’t faced something like this, it’s just so helpful to share these stories,” she says.

What to do if your parent is being scammed

Hearing Christy’s story raises the obvious question: What do you do if it’s your parent? No one wants to “parent their parent,” but there are practical steps you can take to help them avoid scammers without creating more tension.

Timing these discussions is crucial. If your parent is going through a significant life change, such as a divorce, grieving, or feeling isolated, it’s the perfect opportunity to discuss potential scams. Sharing stories like the ones on Dating Detectives can serve as a non-accusatory way to start these conversations.

Encourage transparency. Ask gentle questions if you notice sudden changes in spending, mood, or time commitments. If they brush it off, keep the conversation open—sometimes just knowing you’re paying attention is enough.

Look for financial shifts. Christy’s dad paid for “the food, electricity, cars, everything like that.” At the same time, Rose contributed little, if anything, to the household. If your parent suddenly takes on the entire financial burden for someone new, it’s time to ask why.

Offer support without blame. Many people stay with scammers because leaving would feel like admitting they were duped. Frame your concern around care: “I just want to make sure you’re safe and not being taken advantage of.”

Know when to seek help. In Christy’s case, the situation escalated to the point where police intervention was necessary. While this is an extreme example, it underscores the importance of involving professionals—be it financial advisors, therapists, or law enforcement—when dealing with such situations.

Why these stories matter

For the rest of us, Christy’s experience is heartbreaking but also instructive. Scammers thrive because shame keeps people silent, but sharing stories breaks that cycle. Biskar acknowledges the power of hearing these accounts firsthand, saying, “She really handled the situation so perfectly…like you learn something from everybody.”

And as Anderson notes, “Trauma really throws things off for a family dynamic and makes people vulnerable to scams and abuse.” By talking openly, keeping an eye out for red flags, and offering support, we can protect the people we love most—even if they’re the last ones we ever thought would need protecting.

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