Shawn Johnson East Opens Up About Her ‘Identity Crisis’ After Retiring at 19

Team USA Gymnastics has given us some iconic moments over the years. There was McKayla Maroney’s “not impressed” pose after winning silver at the 2012 Olympic Games—a now viral meme—that she famously recreated with President Barack Obama at the White House. There was Simone Biles’ triumphant return to the 2024 Paris Olympics—after withdrawing from the 2020 Tokyo Olympics—where she became the most decorated American gymnast in Olympic history. Before the Fierce Five in 2012, the Final Five in 2016, the Fighting Four in 2021, or the Golden Girls in 2024, there was a USA Gymnastics team of six women without a cute nickname, led by one mighty, 4’11” powerhouse, Shawn Johnson East.

Johnson East has become a household name. From winning four gold medals at the 2008 Beijing Olympics to winning Season 8 of Dancing With the Stars, she has never completely left the public eye. She even detailed her experiences as an elite teenage gymnast in her New York Times bestselling books Winning Balance and The Flip Side.

But what happens when the cheering stops? On Sunday Sports Club, the Olympic gymnast reveals the challenging reality behind the glory. She shares what the transition from “America’s Sweetheart” to mom of three has really been like. She also opens up about her pregnancy journey, possibly having baby number four, and the identity struggles that retired athletes face but rarely discuss. 

How growing up as an only child shaped her

Johnson East grew up as an only child in what she describes as “the most perfect, beautiful, zero chaos home.” “I think that’s why I was such a good gymnast because I am an anal perfectionist, and I like control,” she says.

Her husband, Andrew East, on the other hand, was raised in a family of five kids. “His family is absolute chaos, and I just kind of fell in love with that,” Johnson East explains. “It’s something I never knew as a kid. So when we got married and started having kids, I was open to three or four kids. 

About having three kids under six, she has learned to embrace the chaos. “I just feel like our family is complete, and I also feel like I might be going insane,” she laughs. “It’s been a lot, but it’s also been amazing.”

The identity crisis that retired athletes face

From becoming “America’s Sweetheart” at the Beijing Olympics to a public figure at such a young age, Johnson East admits that she has had her ups and downs with her sense of identity. “It kind of skewed a little bit—just hearing the noise of commentators and headlines afterwards,” she explains. “As a kid, I had a hard time keeping down those voices in my head that said I didn’t have value outside of being a gymnast.”

After the 2008 Olympics, she recalls navigating a barrage of questions from the media: ‘Are you going to keep going?’ You should; it’s for your country. What are you going to do if you don’t compete? It’s what you’re good at. 

The pressure led her to attempt a comeback for the 2012 Olympics, which she hated. She went through a season of identity crisis, ultimately retiring at 19 before the Olympic Trials. “I had to navigate that for a long time, and that was hard when the world was telling me the only thing I was good at was gymnastics,” she says. “

Shortly after retiring, she met Andrew, who helped her rebuild her identity and, as she says, just be a normal human being. “It is hard—retiring from the thing you’ve done and what the world praises you for; it’s really confusing and humbling,” she says. “It’s such a beautiful thing, but it is hard, as a professional athlete, to navigate that.”

Finding identity in motherhood 

Johnson East has fallen in love with the chaos that is now her life. It’s a big jump from the extremely disciplined world of elite gymnastics. When she meets new people, Johnson East leaves out all the Olympic Gold medals. She simply describes herself as a mom of three. “It feels like such a lifetime ago, and there’s been such an identity shift,” she laughs. “I retired when I was 19, but I just don’t feel like that person now, especially being a mom.”

Johnson East admits that who she was as an elite teenage gymnast is an entirely different person from who she is now. “My kids’ little participation ribbon for their first season of soccer at the age of 2, I think is way cooler than an Olympic medal,” she adds.

Becoming a mom has changed Johnson East for the better. “It changed my outlook on life, how I perceived myself, and how I looked at my mistakes,” she explains. “I feel like I was crippled by the anxieties of being a professional athlete, but that kind of all went away when I became a mom.”  

Making sports fun again

For Johnson East, growing up, sports became a job very quickly. She made the Women’s Junior National Team at 12, started traveling internationally, and competed at her first Olympics at 16. “I was very, very disciplined, and I progressed really quickly,” she says. “But I had a very normal childhood before that.” 

Before solely doing gymnastics, Johnson East tried several other sports, including soccer, track, and dance. At 12, when she made the National team, Johnson East had to choose between other sports. She became “a not so ordinary child,” as she describes it. “I was just obsessed with it,” she recalls. “I am a very Type A, perfectionist-driven personality, which I see in my daughter now, which is terrifying.”

Her drive in gymnastics wasn’t driven by her parents, but came from within. Johnson East says her parents gave her opportunities to find what she loved, and they allowed her to lead. Now, Johnson East thinks it’s important for kids to enjoy the sports they participate in. She says that for both her and Andrew, who is a former NFL long snapper, their favorite memories of sports from childhood is just playing. 

“I think people are taking away all the fun for kids in athletics,” she says. “My husband and I have both seen people at the professional level of sports who hate it because it’s been a job since they were young or they lost the fun somewhere in.”

Read Next

• Trailblazing Olympians Who Paved the Way for Female Athletes Today
• What to Expect During Your First Trimester of Pregnancy
• Kayla Nicole Wants to Be Your Pre-Game Best Friend