Absolutely Not! - Dear Media - New Way to Podcast

Absolutely Not!

with Heather McMahan

"Absolutely not" to legitimately everything.....Comedian Heather McMahan creates a safe-space for us to tell-all and bitch about the rest. No topics are off-limits as we break down the everyday struggles of doing the most, and the least, at the same damn time. Come for the humor, authentic discussion or call in the Hotline or should we say "Absolutely NOT-Line" with your life complaints. We will discuss it all. It's a joyful take on life's craziest moments.


Episodes

  • Jennifer Lawrence: She's Got An Oscar, I've Got SciaticaOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather interviews a true acting icon and apparently the podcast's biggest fan, Jennifer Lawrence. Yes, you read that right, JLAW. The two discuss life in the biz, Heather's lack of winning awards, and...
  • CANADIAN SK8R BOIOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is in her last week of Canada Glory. She has become a local, eating the fish, wearing the beanies and blasting Avril Lavigne at the top of her lungs. She is helping you figure out the...
  • Doing Zoomies in EuropeOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is revved up after a wild tweet that sent her into a tailspin of laughter, confusion and sadness. She is also recapping her favorite new "escape show" Emily in Paris, which reminded her...
  • ADD IT TO THE LIST, MIKEOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather uncovers some uncomfortable truths about herself and gives you a full rundown of her last week locked up. She's made a list and she's checking it twice of all the shit she has to try and fix...
  • GO FUND ME FROM CANADAHeather is on the brink of a full blown meltdown coming to ya live from a new state-sanctioned Quarantine north of the border in Canada. She's in town for work and they legit sent her to her room and threw away the key. Tensions are high between she...
  • IM A SALESGUYOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather's dear friend, Andrew Collin, is here to bitch and swindle his way back into our hearts. He's still single and apparently getting "ripped" in quarantine.... not drunk, like in shape... again we...
  • STUCK UNDER THE TRUNDLE-BED TRISHOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather has hit her September shit show wall and is literally stuck under a trundle-bed of emotion. She is pulling out ALL OF THE FEELINGS from 2020 into one solid cathartic shitshow of a podcast. The...
  • THE GA LAW LADY, ASHLEY MCMAHAN "GIVE ME A SIDE OF MAC SAUCE"On this episode of the absolutely not podcast, Heather is chatting with her ball busting, criminal defense attorney, big sis, Ashley. Also known as the Georgia Law Lady, she helps Heather break down some of y'alls most intense Voice Mails to date......
  • An Expert, An Asshole, An Alcoholic with Kate Kennedy of the Be There In Five PodcastOn this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather interviews Kate Kennedy of the "Be There in Five" podcast. It's their one-year anniversary since they met and now everything is coming full circle with these two ding dongs. They discuss how Tik...
  • Sandy Vag But Delta DiamondOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather breaks down her trip to Florida and is coming in guns hot after Robin Hijacks the episode. She hits the hotline and lemme tell you what, y'all are bitching more than ever! These calls are...
  • RAZZLE DAZZLE ME, RICK!On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather catches you up to speed on her Hollywood ventures, buying a car from the Patriarchy and taking your Voicemails. We are getting dumber as the year goes on and it's very apparent by the shit y'all...
  • I DID NOT SEE THAT COMINGOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back from her hippie trip to Asheville North Carolina, where she experienced Satan at work. Between the Dog fights, Spiritual reads, and kids falling in manholes, it was a wild, but much needed...
  • THE MAYOR OF NANTUCKET with Raymond PadillaOn this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather has her friend Big Daddy Raymond Padilla in town, fresh off his high horse from his luxury villa in Nantucket. He has decided to run for mayor, in a town he has never lived in - typical Ray. He is...
  • Do You Wanna Be My Surrogate?On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast Heather has her hilarious and ball-busting sister, Ashley, also known as the Georgia Law Lady in the studio. They discuss their fucked up genes, what it was like growing up with Robin and Kyle as parents...
  • Dumb and DumberOn this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather answers your pressing questions, like "Should my baby have their own instagram account", "Do you watch military return videos?" " Are you a swinger", and "Would you wear a penis sash on your...
  • WORK HARD PLAY HARDEROn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is anxious and over caffeinated but doing her best to hold on to the future. The Voicemails this week are dumber than ever, but it doesn't stop Heather from losing her fucking mind. She loves you...
  • Tiny Urethra on the BroadwayHeather is back in the studio, aka her Mom's "Office" with her Tour Producer, Chris Ketner. Since they can't be on the road together touring the world, the convo has taken a wild turn to REAL TALK TOWN. The discuss their lack of sex education in...
  • Blame the SnowBirdsOn this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather takes a few calls from the new Hot spot of Florida and tries to figure out what the hell is going on. Were not even halfway through the year, and yet truly no one knows what this year has...
  • Be the You Today, You Wanna Be TomorrowOn this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather hops back on the VoiceMails and legit LOL's till the cows come home. Y'all have taken it to another level. She discusses the chaos of living in construction, her concern for the environment and...
  • Let's Go GirlsOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather takes a moment to pause and very bluntly let everyone know that if you are a racist, the unfollow button is easy. Bye Bye,Sir. We will not put up with that Bullshit here! We get back to giggling...
  • Robin Goes to GreeceOn this episode of the absolutely not podcast Heather shares the psychological torture she endures everyday living with Diva Red in lockup. These two are in the words of MegtheStallion “savage, classy, bougie, ratchet”. This is just the tip of the...
  • WHAT THE F*CK IS GOING ONOn this solo episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is falling apart at the thin ankles, literally. With a burnt taint, a rolled ankle and nothing to do, she has hit a new LEVEL OF NOPE. She cant even record this episode without her mom...
  • Burnt My GrundleOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather relives her emotional journey after having hot coffee spilled on her vagina in the Starbucks Drive-Thru. The Grundle is crispy, the attitude is sassy and for some reason she is super...
  • A Little Bit of CRAZY!On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather decides to flip the script on Love and find out whats been happening to her single friends during LOVE, LOCKED UP RAW! Just because we are in quarantine doesn't mean people aren't still...
  • I Hate Everyone with Jackie Schimmel of The Bitch Bible PodcastOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather has dear friend and fellow shit talker extraordinaire, Jackie Schimmel in the studio. They both look as equally hideous on zoom as they do in person, so no surprise there. The girls discuss trying...
  • AND THATS ON GODOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast,  Heather is sweating from the leather couch in her Mom's basement and has a whole lot of attitude. She is hitting the hotline hard and taking your calls from quarantine. Since we are all just...
  • Pia Baroncini - Thriving in PasadenaOn this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather interviews her sister from another mister, Fashion Icon and fellow podcast host, Pia Baroncini. These two have eerily similar lives that have led them both to marrying Italians and moving...
  • Here Come The Facts with Ashley McMahanOn this episode of Absolutely Not, Heather is joined by the Georgia Law Lady herself, Ashley McMahan. They may be sisters.... more of a Kourtney and Khloe kinda relationship if you will. Two McMahan's in one room is always a wild time, but as...
  • NEVER BLAME THE SWEET TEA with Andrew CollinOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather chats with her fra-t daddy- ding -dong comedian friend, Andrew Collin. He's been on the podcast before and now that he has been cooped up in his Brooklyn Apartment he's extra bitter with a side of...
  • Your Body My Choice with Jeff Daniels AKA The Italian StallionOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather sits in quarantine with her Italian Stallion, Jeff Daniels. Since every single thing he is doing has been driving her up a fucking Ficus tree, she figured it would be a great time to air out their...
  • Locked Up RawOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is coming to ya LIVE! from Atlanta, Georgia. She took the Oregon Trail to escape NYC in this wild time were living in and realized after all is said and done, she might run for city council.........
  • A Weho Eviction Story with Raymond PadillaOn this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Raymond Padilla, Heather's half Chinese, half Mexican, but 100% full of shit bff, is back again to break down his most recent trials and tribulations, his pending apartment eviction. After being accosted...
  • Meet me at the Beverly CenterOn this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is fired up hotter than a her Irish skin on the Fourth of July. She calls out some haters and challenges them to a duel.... at the Beverly center! It’s a wild ride of emotions and commotions!...
  • Hydration Station SituationOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is fresh off a 3 day gal-a-palooza girls tip to Minneapolis where she was promptly roofied & witnessed a shoot out. The Midwest is a crazy place where you should never trust a nurse named...
  • Cartier BamboozlementOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is back in the studio, fresh from Asia and answering your phone calls and hot fire voicemails. Things take a turn for the best when she calls back a feisty fan who leaves a day-drunk message....
  • A SONG AND A SCHLONGOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather sits down with her very own Gayle King, Raymond Padilla. He is coming In "guns hot" as the kids say, sassier than ever. They catch up on life and take your voicemails from the "Absolutely Not"...
  • BONEMARROW BITCHOn this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is back from Asia, feeling like a piece of pickled kimchi with the Jet-lag and soy bloat but ready to take on the week! She gives you a full cultural recap of what she learned abroad, and how she...
  • ASIA WEIGH INOn this weeks episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is still on the road with her bff and travel buddy, Chris Ketner. They have one more week in Asia and while they recap their travels they also hop on the scale to realize Asia isn't exactly...
  • BIGGEST LOSER, ASIA EDITIONOn this episode of The Absolutely Not podcast, Heather gives you live and in the moment updates from her trip with Tony award winning producer and bestie, Chris Ketner. When Chris isn't on the road hold Heather's hair back on "THE FAREWELL COMEDY...
  • A Little Sancerre & DMTOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather chats with her T.V. business buddy and fellow creator, Jen Zaborowski.  This episode is a rare-BTS look at a project they've had in thr works but are too afraid to discuss because, well,...
  • It Can Only Go Up From Flavor-TownOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is fresh off her Mexican vacay with a strong case of diarrhea & more sass than ever. After being completely bamboozled by Guy Fieri at the Cancun Airport, witnessing a full blown drug deal and...
  • Dry HeatOn this Episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather tackles the most complicated and bitchy Voice Mails yet. We wrap up the year with gratitude and lots of grundle sweat coming to ya live from Hot Phoenix Arizona! It has been a full year of...
  • SHRED THE GNAR BRAH with Becky RobinsonOn this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather sits down with fellow comedian, Becky Robinson. She is a true ding-dong goof ball in every sense of the word and were are HERE FOR THIS LEVEL OF STUPIDITY. The girls cover all of your pre-holiday...
  • WELLNESS UPDATE; SHE'S BUSTING OUT OF JACKSONVILLEOn this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is fresh off the 10th leg of the Farewell Tour and sits down with dietitian and health guru Sammy Previte, who is truly trying to make sure Heather survives Road life! Someone has...
  • WE GOT A P2P PROBLEMOn this episode of Absolutely Not, Heather has had it up to her flawless eyebrows with idiots this holiday season. It is truly hard to remain calm when you're trying to do the Lord's work but haters wanna hate...... and by haters you mean BEST BUY....
  • Safety First LeslieOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather takes a moment to really breakdown what she is grateful for..... and then of course gets right back to bitching. It's been a wild ride on the road hitting 8 new cities in 9 days on tour, and baby...
  • The Broadway Gospel Featuring Chris KetnerOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather sits down with her bestie and Farewell Tour Producer, Chris Ketner to talk about surviving on the road. Chris is a tony award winning producer who now has to shove "pepto" down Heather's throat so...
  • HIRED BUT TIRED - Heather McMahan and guest, Jeff DanielsOn this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is fresh off her Italy tour and quite honestly, NOT WELL. She is gearing up for the next two weeks on the road and got ahold of some of the Devil's Dust at Walgreens but its spitting hot fire like...
  • Pi Kappa PastaOn this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is coming at ya live from Fonté de Medici out in the sweet rolling hills of Chianti, baby. She is running an entire sorority out of a medieval castle in Tuscany and honestly, these...
  • Ovaries On A PlaneOn this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather relives her brush with death experience from the past weekend on her Virgin Atlantic flight where her right ovary, legit exploded. The details are so real and raw, you might think you're...
  • Florida House PartyOn this episode of Absolutely Not, Heather is in her own personal hell-hole, the State of Florida. Fresh off a college girls reunion and nursing a 3 day old hangover she does the absolute most from her friend's beach house on the sandy strip of 30A....
  • PRIVATE SCHOOL SAVAGEOn this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather sit down with fellow comic, Andrew T Collin. He's one of her new "straight" male friends and she has already made him super uncomfortable with their friendship. They discuss the...
  • Pepper in Your PantiesOn this episode of Absolutely Not, Heather gets a real kick in the ass when some Sassy Susan has the audacity to chime in on the Italian Stallion. Heather tries to keep it cool but there are more Absolutely Not's in this episode than pregnancy tests...
  • Two ole' Power LesbiansOn This weeks episode of Absolutely Not, Heather sits down with comedian Taylor Strecker, who might have an even raspier voice than Heather. They discuss getting in shape, love, life, touring, and late-in-life-lady-loving. Taylor is extra sassy...
  • BIG GIRL CONVERSATION On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, comedian Rosebud Baker visits the studio, aka Heather's living room, to discuss real grown-woman-shit. They discuss diversity in comedy, what it's like to be a woman in the biz and how filtering ourselves...
  • THE OREGON TRAILOn this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather discuses the life-lessons and survival tactics she picked up from the road. Fresh off the first leg of the "Farewell Tour" Heather breaks down who really shit their pants in Tampa, and how...
  • Italian Stallion Pipes Up On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Jeff, Heather’s fiancé, joins in on the fun aka he forced her to put him on the pod. They discuss living together, the secrets to not killing each other & take your calls and more from the “Absolutely Not” line! It’s a love fest of salami & chest hair, tune in for the fun!
  • Fourth Grade Enemies with the Founder of Show Me Your Mumu Cammy Miller Heather sits down with childhood friend and founder of the fabulous womens-wear brand Show Me Your Mumu. The ladies discuss the rocky start to their friendship in fourth grade, how Cammy built Show Me Your Mumu from her kitchen and their shared dreams...
  • I'M DONE!!!On this weeks episode of the absolutely not podcast, Heather has a full blown mental breakdown and says, BYE TO THE HATERZZZZZ.  She is a week out from Tour and truly doing the most. She is cranky, sweaty and her blood sugar is dangerously low....
  • YA PEAKED with Jamie GreenbergOn this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, we chat with Heather's OG instagram friend and celebrity makeup artist Jamie Greenburg. This episode isn't just about serums and concealer... oh no ladies and gents, we TALK ALL OF THE THINGS. Growing up...
  • Busy Philipps: Doing the F*cking Most.On this episode of ABsolutely Not, Heather sits down with long time friend and possibly long long sister, Busy Philipps to discuss career, manifesting and all things being a bad ass BITCH.  They are old pals from the gym, but this is episode...
  • Live From Her Mom's Basement... it's Heather McMahan!On this episode of Absolutely Not, Heather relishes in the wild two weeks she has had, from co-hosting the Today show, selling out a tour, to ending RIGHT back in her mom's basement sweating her ass off. We have a full Wellness Update on her current...
  • Glamorous Stroke with Jackie Schimmel of The Bitch BibleOn this episode of Absolutely Not, Heather sits down with fellow funny gal, Jackie Schimmel from "The Bitch Bible" and they discuss everything that makes them tick. From adults on adderall to wedding planning woes. They like sensible cars, tipping waiters 20% plus and very dirty martinis. No topic is too taboo for these two. Make sure to pour yourself a bottle of chianti and buckle up because this episode is wilder than an episode of 'Live PD, Daytona Beach'.
  • Man of HonorOn this episode or Absolutely Not Heather talks to her bff & arch nemesis Raymond Padilla. He is the Gayle to her Oprah yet he’ll say it’s the other way around. They discuss how they hated each other for the first 5 minutes and the rest is...
  • Wellness Update... We Are UnwellOn this episode of "Absolutely Not" Heather gives a full wellness update on adjusting to life in the hell-hole that is New York City. She breaks down the subway, rat-squirrel combos, her latest eye infection and general discomfort of being allergic to...
  • Adam Rippon: The Show Must Go OnOn this episode of Absolutely Not Super- Star Adam Rippon stops by to discuss everything from Olympics, Dealing with Haters, Celine Dion, and his new life as a hustler in Las Vegas.
  • Jennifer Love Hewitt: We Know What She Did Last SummerIn this episode we sit down with Heathers fiancé's biggest crush of all time, Jennifer Love Hewitt, to discuss how she went from Kids Incorporated to the a top Hollywood producer and all around bad bitch. We talk love, grief, family and laugh through the pain of Hollywood. 
  • The Devil's Dust In this episode, Heather takes calls directly from the Absolutely Not Line, bitches about travel, and convinces you to get "baby botox." Its not for your baby, so relax, CLAIRE. 
  • Absolutely Not with Heather McMahan Coming July 3!Get a sneak peek of Absolutely Not with Heather McMahan! Call in to the Absolutely Not-line at 1-800-213-7503 to leave a voicemail with anything you want Heather to address. Follow all the behind the scenes action on Instagram @heatherkmcmahan and don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss the premiere episodes on July 3!

Subscribe to the Dear Media Download