It’s Always Something

my DMs have been flooded with your boy problems (and my friends' too), so i texted my producer at 1am with this week's thesis: settling will kill you. my boyfriend is sitting in the room while i cancel all men, so we're leaving him out of it.we get into why soulmates are bullsh*t (my mom says she could be just as happy with ten other men, and she's not wrong), love island as proof, alix earle's viral "i don't need a boyfriend to have a fulfilled life" moment, and why i'm the biggest fan of the ghost. Produced by Dear Media Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

i'm in new york with gracie, apartment hunting and learning the hard way that it's the west village. apparently leaving out the "the" can get you canceled. (so can saying houston street like the city.)last night we hit a YSL event where the only drink option was espresso martinis and the guy at the door told us to take everything. i have video proof. we left with goodie bags, a handful of blushes that were apparently just for display, and a YSL condom from a vending machine. i'm framing it next to gracie's headshot. then came a charcuterie board at the host table while the sig chi guys from SDSU watched us, a vodka pasta that would be a 9.5 anywhere else but is a 6 in new york, and a 4am hot cheeto situation i can only describe as fire-breathing dragon. not in the fun, kinky way. Produced by Dear Media Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

recording from annecy, france with my mom, rolled out of bed at 1pm, and we have a lot to say. the sydney sweeney sports betting ad, a waiter who's been flirting with my mom since night one, splitting a meat stick on the way up a mountain, getting a dib from a stranger in the world's most packed cable car, the oldest lingerie store in france, a drunk haul after a bottle of wine at lunch, and why sydney sweeney can never catch a break — including when davis posted her clothing brand and got "you're disgusting" in the dms immediately. au revoir! Produced by Dear Media Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

i've been binge watching the alix earle netflix show and i have genuine feelings about it, apartment hunting in nyc is exactly like dating in your 20s, i'm going back to europe in three days with my mom, and the yacht club has been closed for two weeks and i'm unraveling. Produced by Dear Media Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

life update before i move to new york in two weeks:a flight attendant passed me a handwritten yes or no note mid-flight asking if i wanted a free drink. i circled yes. he then brought me two glasses of champagne, four bags of cheez-its, two bags of pretzels, gummy bears, and chocolates. this was a two-hour flight. i had pimple patches all over my face and was in my boyfriend's hoodie. this was not pretty privilege. it was a gift from god.answering your questions: ugly guys who ghost you, the ex situation, glow up tips, your friend sleeping with your ex, and how to fake confidence until you actually have it. Produced by Dear Media Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

i'm in austin texas visiting my boyfriend, which is the first time i've said that out loud on the mic. so. hi.the weekend: champagne in every store at the domain, 50 tequila shots on friday, buying a table at a club with warm leftover chasers, tequila shots at 9am on saturday, the rodeo, somehow making it out again that night, boozy brunch, and then getting him to sit through the two hour forty minute spider-man movie on sunday. also i locked him out of his own room by accident and he had to pick the lock with a skincare tool. he slept on his couch. we're fine.but the main thing i wanted to tell you is how we met, because it's actually insane. it starts four years ago with a trump boat tiktok he commented on, continues with us studying abroad in barcelona at the same time without knowing each other, me cutting him in line constantly, and ends at coachella where i got him his ticket, made him buy me $40 of sonic he didn't even get to order from, and then kidnapped him back to san diego after. the rest is history. Produced by Dear Media Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

i went to motley crue with my dad in six-inch louboutins, took three tequilashots, and immediately wiped out in front of everyone. still the best night.maddie called me the morning after and reminded me that her first impression of me was: headbanging at motley crue, followed by a week at the ritz carlton paid for by a sugar daddy. which led to me telling that whole story. you're literally not ready. also: my thoughts on the brooks nader situation, tips for getting into content creation, why i'm nervous moving to new york might feel unfulfilling, and a detour into my feelings about the word influencer. Produced by Dear Media. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices