Spicing Things up in the Bedroom Isn’t as Difficult as It Sounds

If the phrase “spicing things up in the bedroom” makes you grin uncomfortably, Give It To Me Straight proves you don’t need a shopping cart full of props to feel closer, have more fun, and turn routine into ritual.

Yes, if you want to invest in bullwhips and swing from the chandeliers, live your truth. But for most couples, the easiest upgrades are the ones that cost nothing: touch, candor, and laughter.

Hosts Jon Bouffard and Alexandra Madison lean into the real-life stuff—tired nights, offbeat jokes, and the art of choosing each other even when you’re cranky—and remind couples that, despite the mess, intimacy should feel accessible, rather than like a performance.

Why spicing things up in the bedroom starts with the basics

Right off the bat, Madison makes the assignment clear. “Bed should be more than a place you sleep. It should be a place where you poke your husband in the booty and you want arm scratches every single night,” she says.

Whether your husband wants “a poke in the booty” or not, playful touch and everyday affection build momentum. When there’s warmth before lights-out—inside jokes, flirty taps, that “come closer” hand—desire stops feeling like a chore and starts feeling like a reflex.

Laugh more, stress less

If anxiety is the wet blanket of desire, laughter is the match. Throughout the episode, the hosts consistently crack each other up, making it clear that their intimacy extends not only to the bedroom but also to their interactions outside of it.

You don’t have to be a viral TikTok sensation to enjoy that payoff. Shared laughter lowers defenses and reminds you both that you’re teammates, not opponents. Even silly moments count—banter in the kitchen, a goofy wink across the room, the kind of giggle that breaks tension before bed.

Say what you want—clearly and kindly

Good sex thrives on clear direction. If you like something? Say it. If you don’t? Repeat it.  

Ask for the slower kiss, the deeper pressure, the thing you’ve been thinking about in the shower. Trim the hedges on long speeches and get practical. Bouffard’s energy says it best: “Get to the point.”

The bonus? Directness reads as care. When you name what works (and what doesn’t), you’re not criticizing, you’re collaborating.

Remember: you’re on the same team

Even the most in-sync couples butt heads. The move isn’t about winning. It’s about reconnecting. Bouffard invites listeners to remember that “there are three sides to every story. My side, your side, and the truth.”

That mindset turns defensiveness into curiosity. Before you escalate a petty fight into a bedtime standoff, pause and look for the third side. Maybe you were both just exhausted. Perhaps you needed reassurance, not a rebuttal.

Balance also means ditching perfectionism. The sexiest couples aren’t flawless, they’re flexible (and not just like that). They try the new thing, laugh when it’s awkward, and try again tomorrow.

Make intimacy easy again

Here’s the unglamorous truth: spicing things up in the bedroom often looks like small, consistent deposits—little touches during the day, an honest sentence at night, and a running joke that only the two of you get. The episode’s ethos keeps circling the same north star: keep it light, keep it real, keep it moving.

So, skip the performance pressure and give yourselves room to play. Nudge hips as you pass, ask for those “arm scratches,” and let a grin creep in when you’re tempted to overthink. If you like theatrics, have fun with them. But you don’t need to buy a single thing to feel more connected by bedtime.

Because the real secret to spicing things up in the bedroom isn’t a gadget—it’s presence. Touch more. Talk more clearly. Laugh louder. And if you needed one last reminder to keep it simple, take Madison’s line to heart and make tonight a little more than sleep.

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