On ‘Well With Arielle Lorre,’ Mental Wellness Coach Terri Cole Explains the Psychological Cost of Fame

The price of visibility has never been higher. Whether you’re a global celebrity or someone building a following on social media, the psychological toll of public attention is real—and largely misunderstood.  Mental wellness coach Terri Cole has witnessed both sides of this equation, first as a modeling agent representing supermodels like Naomi Campbell, then as a therapist guiding high-achievers through the hidden costs of success.

On Well with Arielle Lorre, Cole breaks down what she calls “the particular psychological experience” of fame and why she ultimately left her previous career filled with “a lot of toxicity” and decided to pursue something more fulfilling. Now, she has spent nearly three decades helping clients—including celebrities and CEOs—navigate the emotional side of ambition and attention.

Cole’s insights are sharp, unfiltered, and filled with the kind of hard-won wisdom that resonates with anyone who has ever wondered if “making it” would truly make them happy. As she puts it plainly: “I actually became an expert at what happens to you when you become famous.”

The hidden costs of fame

The conversation quickly turns to what happens when someone steps into the public eye. “People think fame is amazing unless you’re famous,” she says, adding that “nobody wants to hear any famous people complaining about shit, obviously.”

What many don’t realize is that fame can trigger a heightened state of self-awareness. “There’s like a hyper self-consciousness that can come along with this life of fame of any level of fame,” Cole shares. Once reserved for movie stars, Cole explains that the experience now affects anyone with a public platform thanks to social media and influencer culture.

This constant visibility creates pressure to perform, respond, and please, often at the expense of one’s mental health. And as Cole observes, the internet has given rise to what she bluntly calls people with “cyber balls”—individuals who would never be bold enough to say something cruel in person but feel empowered to do so online.

Protecting yourself in a public world

So how does one cope with the relentless scrutiny that comes with being famous—or even just having a following? Cole recommends active disengagement strategies. “You can’t believe all the good and you can’t believe all the bad,” she insists, emphasizing the need for boundaries.

For her, social media is not a democracy. “It is a benevolent dictatorship is what I say. By me, where if I don’t like you, I block you immediately. I don’t need your permission because it’s free,” she says. That unapologetic approach reflects her larger philosophy: protecting your peace is not negotiable.

She also warns of “conflict entrepreneurs”—people who thrive on stirring the pot and provoking emotional reactions. Recognizing and disengaging from those dynamics, whether online or in personal relationships, is a crucial survival skill. “You don’t need to respond or reply,” Cole says. “Let them do what they’re doing.”

Reclaiming yourself after success

Beyond fame, Cole also explores how high-achieving women often sacrifice their own peace for the sake of others. In her latest book, Too Much, she introduces the concept of high-functioning codependency. “It’s when you are overly invested in the feeling states, the outcomes, the situation, the circumstances, the finances, the careers of the people in your life to the detriment of your own internal peace,” she says, referring directly to so-called “stan” culture.

She explained that this behavior often masquerades as helpful or kind, but at its core, it’s unsustainable. “If you can’t not do it, it’s a compulsion. You are not being kind,” Cole says firmly. “That person’s discomfort is making you uncomfortable. So you want to fix that so you can be comfortable.”

The antidote, according to Cole, lies in asking yourself two simple but powerful questions: “Can I do this without becoming resentful? And do I even fucking want to do it?”

Why these lessons matter

What makes Cole’s perspective so powerful is that it bridges the worlds of glamour and groundedness. She has lived the high-pressure life of representing celebrities and now helps those same individuals reclaim their sense of self. But her message applies to anyone navigating societal pressures, whether they’re famous or not.

As Cole puts it, “We were raised and praised to be self-abandoning codependents.” Breaking that cycle isn’t easy, but it’s necessary if we want to live lives that feel authentic, peaceful, and fulfilling.

For those who have achieved success—or are chasing it—it’s a reminder that being famous isn’t the end of the story. The real work lies in reclaiming yourself, protecting your peace, and remembering that true fulfillment comes from within.

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