The First Thing You Should Do After Getting Engaged, According to a Wedding Planner 

Getting engaged is romantic. Planning the wedding is when romance meets spreadsheets, family group chats and the shocking discovery that 100 guests apparently counts as “small.”

As Kenzie Elizabeth and fiancé Charlie prepare to tour venues in Charleston and Savannah, they invited wedding planner Hunter Orcutt onto House Guest to answer the questions that tend to hit right after the champagne wears off. 

Whether you just said yes, already have 37 venue tabs open, or are one family opinion away from eloping, these are the rules worth knowing before you book anything. 

Start with the guest list

“The number one thing is you need to figure out your guest list,” Hunter says. Touring a venue that holds 150 people is pointless when you already know you won’t cut your list below 200.

Her general wedding-size guide:

• 50 guests or fewer: Micro wedding
• 100 guests or fewer: Small wedding
• More than 100: Big wedding
• Around 250: “A massive wedding”

Once you have a rough count, Hunter recommends booking a planner, then the venue and photographer. Bringing in a planner before signing contracts can also save you from discovering expensive logistical problems later.

Don’t count on half the guest list saying no

Kenzie and Charlie initially thought only about 70 percent of their invitees might attend. Cute theory, but no. Hunter says wedding attendance has climbed since the pandemic. For a local wedding, she now expects roughly 90 percent of invited guests to show up. Destination weddings typically land closer to 70 to 80 percent. In other words, don’t invite 200 people to a 150-person venue and hope airfare handles the seating chart for you.

Talk about the budget before it becomes a fight

What do couples disagree about most? “Budget,” Hunter says. “Hands down.” She also warns against building a 2026 budget around what a buddy spent several years ago. “If your friends got married pre-COVID, throw those numbers out the door,” she advises, pointing to higher costs for food, flowers, production and nearly everything else.

Before touring venues, couples should agree on a ceiling, who is contributing, and which parts of the day matter most to each person. It’s much easier to compromise before someone has emotionally moved into a venue neither of you can afford.

Stop planning by committee

The quickest way to lose your own wedding is to collect an opinion from every married friend, parent and future in-law. “Tune out everyone’s opinion,” Hunter says. “I think too many people care about everyone else’s opinion, and it’s your day.”

That doesn’t mean ignoring the people helping pay for it. It means deciding on the foundation first. Whether you want whimsical, dark and moody or a backyard dinner with 40 people, know what you’re building before everyone else starts decorating it for you.

Your bridal party shouldn’t need a second mortgage

Kenzie has watched wedding culture turn bridal parties into unpaid employees with an increasingly expensive uniform. “I don’t want anyone who’s in my wedding party to feel like it’s a part-time job,” she says. “I don’t want them to take out a mortgage to do anything.”

Hunter agrees that the months leading up to the wedding shouldn’t become an endless list of mandatory trips, purchases and assignments. Bridesmaids should be able to attend the shower and bachelorette party without feeling like they’ve taken on another job—or emptied their savings account to prove they care. 

The wedding day is different. Hunter says that’s when bridesmaids should act as the bride’s “personal assistant,” stepping in with food, drinks, dress steaming, or anything else she needs. Her advice is to get off your phone, stop worrying so much about your own hair and makeup, and ask, “How can I serve you?” When everyone is busy filming videos or breaking into little groups, she says, the bride can end up feeling isolated on the day meant to celebrate her. 

Protect the parts that are actually about getting married

Even the most organized couples can remember the dress, shoes and décor—then leave the marriage license sitting at home. Hunter says it happens often enough that her team adds it to the checklist, brings it up again during the final call and still occasionally sends a relative racing across town to retrieve it. One uncle even made a three-hour round trip.

Her other nonnegotiable is a private last dance. While guests head outside and line up for the exit, Hunter gives the newlyweds one final song to take in the room together. “You just finished your wedding with your favorite people,” she says. “It is one of the most magical moments.”

Because after months of budgets, seating charts and group opinions, the actual point is still pretty simple. “Your wedding day means so much,” Hunter says, “but it’s what you do after your wedding that truly matters.”

Want the rest of Hunter’s wedding-planning advice? Listen to the full episode of House Guest with Kenzie Elizabeth, streaming now wherever you get your podcasts.

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