The ‘Millionaire Matchmaker’ on Why Some Cities Are Better Than Others For Dating

Patti Stanger, former host of Millionaire Matchmaker, is an expert on finding love, and she has one piece of advice for single, straight women who can’t figure out why they’re having bad luck in dating: “Go where the men go.” 

And according to Stanger on this week’s episode of We Met at Acme, there’s one particular city you definitely shouldn’t be looking. “Get out of LA.”

“We don’t have a good industry out here. So you’re either really, really rich dating a girl half your age, or you’re broke waiting for your big break,” she says of the City of Angels, which TimeOut ranked as the second worst city in America for dating in 2024.

Host Lindsey Metselaar agrees: “I personally don’t know if I could ever date in LA. I agree with you completely. I’m not looking for someone who’s like in the arts world. ‘Cause I actually feel like the actors are the biggest narcissists of all.”

The best cities to date

So where DO the men go? Stanger has a couple suggestions, but some of it depends on your phase of life.

“I love Florida for women over 50,” she says. “It’s the gold mine to find a man because they will come from Boston, Chicago, New York, Toronto, and they will go down there with their second homes.” A lot of older single men moved to Florida during COVID, she adds. “90 percent of them, once they hit there, didn’t come back to their primary residence.”

For women in their 20s and 30s, Stanger suggests slightly smaller, but still fashionable, cities with large male populations. “San Diego. Denver. We call it Menver and Man Diego. Those two places. Now you could go to Silicon [Valley], which is 85 percent male, but they don’t go out of their houses,” she joked. “I don’t recommend it.”

Other cities with great dating odds, if straight men are what you’re into, are Austin and Nashville.

Okay, but what if I really can’t move?

First of all, Stanger encourages single women to reconsider their stance on moving. “Which is your priority, work or your marriage?” she asks. If you’re worried about leaving your family, she asks, “Well, is your family going to be there in 20 years? No. So you need to move.”

Recognizing this advice might not work for everyone, Stanger does share some advice about meeting men locally.

She suggests trying the gym or going to sporting events. “There’s got to be a big sports bar in your town.” That’s where men will be around the Super Bowl in particular. Or try a sport yourself… 

“Golf and tennis, and the number one sport right now to get involved is pickleball. If you want a rich man, skiing. Aspen is probably the number one spot, but if you live in California, you got Mammoth. And these are the places where men that are really wealthy go, even if they don’t ski,” Stanger says.

Music festivals can also work, says Stanger, but not all of them. “Stagecoach more than Coachella. Stagecoach is a very single guy thing.”

So then how do I approach them?

Stanger has the perfect technique for meeting guys out in the wild: She calls it the “signal and smile.”

“You’re going to hold this gaze for five seconds. It’s very long. You’re going to have to practice on people you don’t like to get the confidence up if you don’t have that confidence,” Stanger says.

Once you’ve locked eyes and held it for five seconds—which may feel like forever, but don’t chicken out!—“You look away. If he comes over, he’s your guy. […] If he doesn’t come over, he’s not your guy. Try it with somebody else.”

This may not be easy, but keep practicing, says Stanger. “Men need to know that you’re open to receiving them. And try to do it when you’re not in a group, because those who travel in packs don’t attract. It’s intimidating.”

Check out more flirting tips here, and tune in to more We Met at Acme for Lindsey Metselaar’s best advice on dating and relationships.