The ‘Transform’ Hosts Have 9 Mindset Hacks to Stay Grounded on Your Next Girls Trip
Maggie Ekberg
Let’s be real. Sometimes your brain feels like a browser with 37 tabs open, and you’re not even sure where the music is coming from. Whether you’re trying to relax on vacation, navigate a group dinner without spiraling afterward, or figure out if wanting alone time makes you a bad friend…it’s a lot.
On Transform, Sami Clarke and Sami Spalter answered your biggest mindset questions—and their tips were so helpful, we had to round them up. From regulating in social settings to setting intentions before you even land at your destination, here are nine tools you’ll use.
Even on a girls’ trip.
1. Set a clear intention before you go anywhere
Before you even zip your suitcase, pause. What do you want from this trip? To feel present? To reconnect with your body? To laugh until your stomach hurts?
“I set an intention to laugh a lot,” Clarke says of a recent trip. “I set an intention to be one with nature. I wanted to spend 95 percent outside, so then I planned activities that aligned with that. When you set the intention, it naturally starts to shape how your trip unfolds.”
It sounds simple, but this little pre-trip mindset shift can change the entire energy of your experience. When you name what you want, you’re way more likely to build your days around it instead of just getting swept along with whatever’s happening.
No vision board required. Just take a second and ask yourself, “What do I want to feel?” Then move from there.
2. Stick to your wellness routine, even on vacation
Yes, rest. Yes, relax. But also… don’t leave the version of you who feels your best at home.
“No matter what vacation I go on, I’m always still doing my Form workouts,” Spalter explains. “I’m always still getting in my steps.”
That doesn’t mean doing a full sweat sesh in your hotel room. It means packing your activewear so movement feels easy, and keeping your mornings familiar so you start grounded instead of scrambled. Wellness shouldn’t disappear the second you touch down… it should travel with you.
3. Turn off your notifications (yes, really)
The quickest way to ruin a perfectly peaceful moment? That little red badge lighting up your lock screen.
“I’m really good at working on vacation, but what I consciously do is turn off my notifications,” Spalter says, explaining that notifications are “disturbing your peace.”
“They’re pulling you from being where you are here and now,” she adds.
You don’t have to go fully off-grid. But turning off email and app alerts gives your brain a break from the constant buzz of urgency. You’ll still get to everything, but on your time, not your inbox’s.
4. Build in structure so you can actually relax
It sounds counterintuitive, but if you truly want to unwind, a little planning goes a long way.
“I think an itinerary allows you to be really present in what you’re doing,” Clarke says. “Instead of being like, ‘Okay, I’m gonna try to be on a horse and sending emails,’ I’m instead gonna say, ‘Hey, I think from 10 to 11, I really feel like that’ll be best for me not to be on my phone and I’m gonna be really present while I’m horseback riding.’”
Even if your itinerary just says “read my book from 3 to 5,” the act of protecting that time lets your brain stop spinning. When you set the intention to unplug, you don’t spend the whole time half-scrolling, half-relaxing.
5. Bring what your body needs, not just what fits in your suitcase
Your trip isn’t the time to play the minimalist packing game if it means leaving your creature comforts behind.
Clarke recommends doubling up “on whatever you need to double up on” while extending yourself grace if you start feeling a little off during the trip. “If it’s like, ‘Oh, those peppermint oils I rub on my belly, I need to bring those,’ or that certain heating pad,” Clarke says. “Bring the things that you know will also help you be more relaxed on a travel trip because a lot does shift in the body when you are traveling.”
If you already know travel throws off your digestion or your sleep, plan ahead. You deserve to feel good while you’re out of your normal routine—not just when you get home and recover.
6. Check in with your body before you walk into a social setting
You know that buzzy, jittery energy you sometimes feel before a hangout even starts? That’s your nervous system already trying to exit the situation.
“I would encourage anyone to just use a regulating tool,” Clarke says. “If that’s getting into your body by taking some breaths—literally big belly breaths. We hold our breath, which allows us to be in this state of fight or flight or wanting to leave.”
Try this: Before walking into dinner, place a hand on your heart, one on your belly, and take three slow breaths. Ask yourself: How am I actually feeling right now? “That would be a huge way to go into these social situations,” she says.
Bonus tool: Try tapping your arms or elbows left to right (a gentle bilateral motion). It’s a subtle way to ground yourself, especially when you’re not sure why you’re suddenly overstimulated in the middle of a dinner party.
7. Regulate if things get tense or overstimulating
You don’t have to sneak off to the bathroom or do full breathwork in a broom closet to regulate your nervous system. There’s a more subtle way to get back into your body—even in a crowded room.
Spalter shares one of her go-to tools: “You butterfly your hands and just tap your collarbone.”
That means crossing your hands over your chest (like you’re giving yourself a little hug) and gently tapping your fingertips on your collarbones. “I find myself doing it when I get anxious in social situations,” Spalter says. “It kind of looks natural, but it’s this quiet, passive way to regulate while you’re in the social situation too.”
No one has to know you’re self-soothing mid-convo. But your body will feel the difference.
8. Stop judging your need for alone time
Wanting space doesn’t mean you’re weird, broken, or antisocial. It probably just means you’re overdue for some quiet.
“If you don’t carve out that intentional time, it’s not gonna find itself for you,” Spalter says. “I need to be alone. I need to just sit in my silence. I need to be with my thoughts. I need to pour into my own cup and then I can pour into everyone else’s.”
Clarke agrees and adds that it’s easy to second-guess your alone time, especially if it stretches longer than you expected. “There is no right way of how much alone time you should have,” she says. “I’ve judged my process too.”
Some seasons are more social. Others are more internal. Neither one needs an apology.
9. Not a group setting person? You’re not broken
If being in a big group leaves you overstimulated or emotionally hungover, you’re not imagining it… and you’re not the only one.
Spalter says she finally accepted that one-on-one time just feels better. “How could any one human being go to a dinner with 10 people and make every single person at that table feel seen?” she says. “It’s impossible. You really can’t do it.”
She explains that she feels her best in smaller settings—one-on-one, or perhaps with three people at most. “That’s where I feel seen. That’s where I feel my best. That’s where I’m like, oh, that was a therapy session.”
So if you leave big hangs questioning everything you said… congrats, you’re human. Some of us vibe better in low volume, and there’s nothing wrong with that (promise).
The key takeaway? You don’t have to change who you are to feel good in your own life. Take what works. And if all else fails, go outside, touch some grass, and turn off your notifications.
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